Kill Me
Chapter 10
By: Makena
It had been a couple of weeks - 17 days to be exact - and Blue Body Sanctuary was finally performing in California. Callie became nervous and anxious all at once and it was pretty obvious.
"You look tense," Billy noted, sitting on Mark's bunk.
"Thank you," Callie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I didn't think I was."
"Why?"
Callie sighed and looked up at him. "My mom lives in California," she told him, placing her hands on her stomach and watching them rise and fall.
"Really?" Billy questioned.
"That's what they say."
Neither of them said anything for a while and watched when Rob came in, grabbed something from his bag, and left again. Finally, after Rob was gone, Billy hopped down from Mark's bunk and began to search through his own duffel bag.
"You know what you could use for that?" he asked her.
"If you say heroin, I swear to god I will kick you."
"Okay," Billy replied smugly, taking out a needle and some heroin. "I won't say it then."
"Billy, you know damn well what I think of heroin," Callie said, watching as Billy sat down on Jeremy's bed and began to pour some heroin onto a spoon he had stolen from one of the restaurants he had eaten once and hold a lighter to it.
"I know what you think about it," Billy said, watching his heroin closely. "But do you know what it feels like?"
Callie didn't reply. Instead, she folded her arms and watched him fix his needle and finally drag out a belt from his duffel bag.
"Joel used to be on this," Billy said, beginning to fix a second needle. "At the same time Benji was an alcoholic."
"Dad was an alcoholic?" Callie asked suspiciously. "When?"
"About a year before he found out you were his," Billy replied, not looking at Callie.
"And... uncle Joel was... he was a junkie?"
Billy nodded. Neither of them spoke until he had finished. Finally, unsure of herself, Callie spoke up.
"What does it feel like?" she asked Billy.
Billy grinned and grabbed Callie by the wrist. He pulled her arm out and rolled her sleeve up, tightening the belt above the elbow.
"It relaxes your every bit of feeling," he explained to her, reaching for one of the needles on the bed. "Its like nothing you've felt before and it's like nothing you'll ever feel again in your entire life - except, of course, your next hit..."
Just as Callie was about to pull away, Billy injected the heroin into Callie's veins. Callie took in a couple of quick breaths and stared at Billy. He had been right - heroin was like nothing she had ever had in her life. She felt relaxed, she felt carefree - tired.
"That's... good shit," Callie told Billy, rocking slightly.
Billy laughed and grinned. "I told you it was," he said, quickly undoing the belt that was still wrapped around Callie's arm.
Callie watched Billy and suddenly kissed him on the lips before she fell forward and passed out on the floor. Billy, quite pleased with himself for turning her on to heroin, picked her up and put her back on Sam's bed before continuing on to injecting heroin into his own system.
-----
Callie stirred and blinked a couple of times. She knew where she was and she remembered how she had gotten there, but - how long had she been out? Slowly, Callie sat up and looked around her surroundings. Billy was passed out on Jeremy's bed and she could see an arm dangling from Mark's bed, and Callie assumed that the arm belonged to Mark himself.
'Damn heroin,' Callie thought to herself, standing up. 'Why'd it have to be so good?'
Slowly, Callie made her way out into the main area of the bus and helped herself to a pepsi that had been sitting in the refrigerator. She looked around at what was going on - Jeremy, Rob, Landry and Sam were all watching a movie instead of playing PS like they usually were doing. Sam looked up at Callie and gave her a side-ways smile before returning to his movie.
"Sam-I-Am," Callie said, plopping down on the couch next to him. "What are we watching?"
Sam turned and looked at her. "Jackass II," he said. "What happened?"
Callie frowned. "What happened?" she repeated.
"Back in the bedroom? What'd you do?"
Callie sighed and looked up at the TV. "Billy's on heroin," she said absently. "So is Mark."
Sam nodded. "I knew that," he said. "But... are you on it now, too?"
Callie sighed - she didn't know how to answer him. It was one hit, yes, but Callie wanted another and probably another after that until she did become a junkie and her only friend would be the needle in her vein.
"I... I don't know..." she told him. "I'm not now, but I don't know where I'll be tomorrow."
Sam sighed. "You're better than that, Callie," he told her. "You don't have to do these things to yourself..."
Callie didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. Normally, she would have told Sam off and to stay out of her business, but - she couldn't. She couldn't tell him that. Neither of them spoke for a while as they watched a full half hour of the movie in silence. Finally, Sam spoke up.
"We're going to stop at a hotel in L.A.," Sam said. "We're gonna stay there for about three days and get on a plane and fly to our next gig."
Callie didn't say anything - none of what he had just said meant anything to her.
"The L.A. concert's not till tomorrow," Sam continued. "And then we'll still have a day off. I was thinking maybe we could look your mom up today or something..."
Callie blinked and looked over at him. "You... you'd help me look for my mom?" she asked him.
Sam nodded. "Of course," he replied. "What are friends for?"
Callie smiled and threw her arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much..."
-----
The band, Billy, and Callie had gotten to the hotel in L.A. at around noon and they didn't even start dividing up the rooms until they had reached the lobby and gotten their keys. There were only three rooms and seven of them. After a while of debating, Jeremy and Mark shared a room, while Landry and Rob shared another, and Sam was stuck with Billy and Callie.
Callie claimed her bed by setting her back pack down on it and walking towards the window where she opened the curtains and looked out among the tall buildings and the rush of traffic. She closed her eyes and took in the sun and the warmth of California - she had never been there before now. There was a knock on the door and Sam, who was still standing near the door, opened it. Jeremy came running in with Mark closely behind him.
"We're gonna go to the beach and look for girls," Jeremy announced proudly. "Anyone wanna come with?"
"I'll go," Billy opted. "You wanna come with us, Callie?"
Callie frowned and turned around to look at him. "Yes, of course," she said sarcastically. "I would love to scout chicks with you three."
"I didn't mean it that way," Billy said.
"Of course you didn't," Callie said, looking back out over the city.
Billy rolled his eyes and looked at Mark. Jeremy was staring between the two, not really sure what had just happened between them.
"Let's go!" Mark finally said, nodding towards the door.
Billy nodded and walked over to Callie where he kissed her swiftly on the lips before following Jeremy and Mark out the door. Callie watched them through their reflection and sighed once the door had closed. She was alone again...
"Did they leave?" Sam asked, stepping out of the bathroom.
Callie jumped, forgetting that Sam was still there. "Oh, yeah... they left," she said.
"Scare you?" Sam questioned with a grin.
"No..." Callie lied. She sighed when Sam began to laugh at her and reached in her back pack for a cigarette.
"Smoking is bad for you," Sam told her.
"Thank you," Callie said sarcastically, lighting a cigarette up. "I wasn't aware of that."
Sam shrugged and sat down on his bed. "Just a little information I figured I should pass on to you." He paused. "So... what did you want to do to kill the time?"
Callie shrugged and stuck her lighter back in her back pack. She thought about what she could do in sunny California with her friend as she sat down on her own bed. "We could... go for a swim?" Callie suggested. "I've never swam in the Pacific before."
"Me neither," Sam admitted. "That would be fun..."
Neither of them said anything for a while as Callie continued to smoke her cigarette. Finally, she put it out in the ash tray on the bedside table and looked back over at Sam.
"I guess I should..."
She was cut off by Sam, who had leaned across the two beds to kiss her passionately on the lips. Too surprised to react, Callie sat stunned, letting Sam kiss her. Finally, she pushed him off of her.
"Sam, what the fuck?" she questioned, trying to scoot away from him.
"I - I'm sorry," Sam stuttered, sitting back down uncomfortably on his own bed. "I don't know... I guess I... uh..."
Callie waited for an explanation, but decided that it was too hard for Sam to get out and stood up. "Whatever," she muttered. "Let's just go to the beach."
Sam sighed and nodded, hoping to avoid an explanation until he had one.