Kill Me
Chapter 12
By: Makena
Callie nervously paced up and down the cracked side walk. Sam and her had gone back to the hotel after their swim and looked up her mother - which hadn't been as difficult as it should have been.
Now, a day later, Callie had finally worked up enough courage to even walk to the street her mother lived on. She paced up and down, sat on a bench, and then stood back up to pace again. The street her mother lived on was - more or less - what Callie had expected; old and crumbly, and obviously not the safest place in the world. But it was across from the ocean and there was a small strip of beach, and Callie wouldn't have minded staying there - as long as the beach was accessible.
She sat down on the bench again and glanced at the watch Sam had let her borrow. Their concert wouldn't start for another five hours - she had plenty of time to get back to the hotel and down to where the concert was being held.
She became nervous again as she looked up and glanced around the street. Finally, she stood up and began to walk down the street, quickly making note of the address written on a white piece of hotel-labeled paper. Becoming more nervous than ever, Callie began to recite the day's events through her mind.
'Heroin with Billy,' she thought. 'Wake up - shower. Hang out with Sam until he had to go to sound check, walk down here. Heroin with Billy, wake up - shower...'
She knocked on one of the doors and an older looking man with a Hawaiian t-shirt hanging open and kaki colored shorts on. He wasn't fat, but Callie would have preferred to not see his tanned stomach. There was a bottle of beer in on of his hands, and a cigarette hung from his mouth.
"Sorry," Callie apologized as the man pushed the screen open and squinted in the bright sun light. "I was looking for Lily, but I guess I have the wrong place..."
"Lily's here," the man spoke in a gruff voice, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. "Lily! LILY! You got company!" He paused and held the door open for Callie. "You can come in, this might take a while."
Callie stepped inside and stood with folded arms, uncomfortably by the door. It was dark inside, considering it was sunny California - all the curtains had been pulled and none of the lights had been flicked on.
"You want anything to drink?" the man asked.
Callie's head snapped up to the man, who was standing in the kitchen in front of the open fridge. "I'm fine, thanks," Callie said.
"Take a beer," the man shouted in a friendly manor. Before Callie could refuse, she found a beer bottle being thrown at her and she had no choice but to catch it and accept the drink.
"LILY!" the man shouted again. "I said you have company!!"
"Alright, alright!" Callie heard a woman's voice. "Damn - I heard you the first fucking time..."
From the hallway emerged a woman who looked older than she should have been. Her hair was tangled slightly and looked like it had been slept it, but it was the same brownish color it had been years before. She wore a pair of short shorts and a tube top with a thin flannel shirt over that, and Callie could make out some tattoo's on various parts of her body.
"What's this about?" she asked, but Callie wasn't sure if the question was directed at Callie or the mysterious man that had given her beer. "What ever it was, I didn't do it."
"Um... are you Lily?" Callie asked, putting the beer bottle on the table next to the couch.
"Yeah," Lily replied. "What did you want?"
"I'm Callie," Callie said, letting out a deep breath. "Your daughter."
Lily didn't say anything - she just looked at her daughter in wonder and amazement. "Callie... Callie Ann?" she asked finally.
She walked towards her daughter and gave her a hug, weather Callie wanted one or not. "It's been so long!" she said. "10 years now..."
"Eleven, but... yeah," Callie corrected her.
"Ten, Eleven - whatever," Lily said. "Oh my god, you look like your father - I can't believe I didn't know it was you right away!"
Callie forced a smile and was welcomed into her mother's house.
"What brings you to California? Does your father know you came down here? How's life been treating you..."
"I ran away," Callie told her bluntly. "Dad doesn't know where I went; life is okay, I guess."
"You ran away? Why?"
Callie sighed. "I don't like his wife," she explained simply.
"Ah," Lily said. "The bastard got married? Oh well... at least HE'S happy." She paused and looked up at the man, who was standing between the living room and the kitchen with a questioning look on his face. "Oh! This is Red. Red, Callie."
"Oh, are you two..."
"Married?" Lily laughed. "Hell no - we're just "involved" if you know what I mean."
Callie forced out a laugh.
"Speaking of involved... you got anyone special in your life?"
Callie shrugged. "Sort of," she replied, thinking fondly yet hatefully of Billy. "He's a little older than me, but..."
Callie's mother cut her off. "Do you do drugs?"
Callie choked. "Excuse me?" she questioned.
"Drugs... are you on drugs?"
Callie didn't know how to answer that - if she said yes, it could either get her a lecture on drug taking or an invitation to take drugs with her mother. "Ah... sure?" she said finally.
Lily grinned. "You're too young," she said. "But that's okay. We got some stuff back in the bedroom if you want..."
Callie stood up with her mother and followed her to the bedroom, unsure if she had really wanted to find her mother after all.
-----
Sick to her stomach, Callie found her way back to her hotel alright, bumming a ride from a man in a blue convertible and his wife. It was almost ten at night and she knew she would never make it to the concert by now.Once she had gotten to her room, she crawled onto her bed and tried not to think about the day's events. Her mother, she realized, was a crack addict, as well as a heroin addict, a speed addict and an addict of just about everything you could think of - including alcohol.
Callie had been forced to sit in the back of her mother's house with Red, watching them shoot smack or snort coke or smoke pot or drink their lives away. And, normally, Callie wouldn't have minded and would have wanted to move in with her mother right away, but - the amount they took and how they took it amazed her and it made her sick. This wasn't supposed to be how parents acted. Parent's were supposed to care about their child, punish them when they did something like drugs or alcohol, not offer it to them.
Like Benji and Kelly.
Callie let out a sad, broken sigh and hugged on of the pillows close to her body. She was truly and honestly homesick for the first time in over a month.
"No," she said to herself. "No! You're going to suck it up and you're going to find a different way to make a living - you have to stay in California..."
"Talking to yourself again?"
Callie, having had no idea that somebody had come into the room, sat up quickly and looked around for the source of the voice. Billy was leaning against the wall, watching Callie.
"What..."
"You didn't come to the concert, so came to see if things were okay," Billy explained. "They're obviously not."
Callie sighed and put her pillow back on her bed, sitting on the edge of her bed. "I was just thinking..." Callie began.
"About staying in California?" Billy asked. "Why would you want to stay here?"
"I like it here," Callie replied. "The sun, the water - it's what I need."
"What you need is your father."
Callie frowned. "Yes, an excellent time for you to bring that up, JUNKIE," she said. "A little late, considering it's been almost two months since we left Waldorf, Billy. And, next time you try to give me advice, make sure I DON'T know you're on heroin."
"You know you miss him," Billy told her, moving to her bed.
"No I don't," Callie lied.
Neither of them said anything for a while as Billy sat down next to Callie. "I'm sorry," he said finally.
Callie shrugged and let him wrap his arms around her.
"I'm a fuck up."
Callie sighed. "I should be mad at you," she said. "But I'm not. I don't know why - I'm just not." She sighed again and rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't know what I'm gonna do," Callie said with a sigh.
"I'm going to stay out on the road with Blue Body Sanctuary," Billy told her. "Why don't you just stay with us?"
"Because once the tour ends, you guys go back to Waldorf..."
"Which isn't for a long time yet..."
"And I'll have to find a plane ticket to SOMEWHERE else once we hit Maryland again."
Billy sighed. "Then stay here," he said.
"But with who? How?"
Billy sighed again and stood up. "I don't know, Callie," he said. "It's your thing - figure it out. I'm going back down to the concert. I'll see you in a bit."
Callie nodded and watched him leave. As soon as he had left, his cell phone rang from his duffel bag and Callie dove for it. One of her pet peeves in life was a phone that went unanswered when some one was there to pick it up. Quickly checking the phone number to see if she knew it - she didn't - Callie answered it.
"Hello?" she said.
"... Callie?"
Callie froze. She had been caught.
"Callie? Jesus... is that you? Callie, it's me - its uncle Joel. Please answer me..."
"Uncle Joel?" Callie said reluctantly.
"Callie! What... shit... where the fuck have you been? If I would have known where you were... do you have any idea what you've put your father through?... why didn't you at least say something..." Joel continued to babble on.
"Uncle Joel, it's okay," Callie said. "I'm fine. I'm with Billy and every thing's going to be okay with me."
"Well... jesus, Callie..." He paused and sighed.
"At least we know you're alright now. And you're with Billy... although I'm not sure I trust him..."
"How'd you know Billy was gone?" Callie questioned Joel.
"Billy called and said he was getting paid extra to help out some friend's brother's band and not to worry about him if he ended up missing... he's not getting paid to "help" over there, is he?"
"No," Callie replied. "But we are with a band."
"Well... what one?" Joel asked hopefully.
"Nice try, uncle Joel."
"Well..." there was a pause. "Shit. Okay, I have to go..."
"Where are you?" Callie asked him quickly.
"Pay phone downtown."
"Oh. Well, okay then."
Callie wanted so badly to tell her uncle that she says hello to her father and that she's okay, but she couldn't get it out. Luckily, she didn't have to.
"I'll tell you're father you're okay," Joel said.
"O... okay," Callie choked. "I love you, uncle Joel."
"Love you too, Callie Ann. Bye."
"See you later."
Callie hung up and began to cry again.