Kill Me
Chapter 5
By: Makena
Benji had to wait until the crack of morning to see his daughter when she came into the waiting room with a bandage around her wrist.
"She says it was an accident," the doctor informed Benji. "Although we did find cuts on her upper arm, I seriously doubt that she was trying to commit suicide and we find no reason to keep her here. There are some alternative places you can send her, but its not our choice to send her there."
Benji nodded and thanked the doctor for all he had done. He looked at Callie, who was standing in the middle of the waiting room in plaid purple pajama pants and a black band t-shirt, holding a black hoodie. She senced that it was time to leave and began to brush past her father when he caught her arm and rolled her sleeve up to examine it.
"Dad..." Callie whined, but she was too late.
Benji looked and part of him died, to see his daughter like this. In the emergency room because she was suicidal and she cut herself. He looked into her eyes and sighed - he could see himself in her eyes and he suddenly realized how much he had hurt his mother and Joel. Benji closed his eyes and walked past his daughter and to the parking lot.
They rode home in silence, neither of them uttering one word to each other. Once they returned home, they were greeted by an anxious and concerned Kelly and Callie suddenly wished that she hadn't told her father and just died.
"I'm going to my room," Callie anounced, slowly assending the steps to her room.
"What happened?" Kelly asked Benji softly.
"I don't know..." Benji said. "She came into our room at one in the morning and her wrist was bleeding. She says she didn't try to kill herself, but I don't know. I just don't know if that's true or not."
"She's not you, Benji," Kelly whispered.
"She's damn close," Benji replied. "And it scares the hell out of me."
-----
Callie was allowed to stay home from school the following Monday. Her father had told her it was because she needed rest from her "terrifying ordeal," but Callie knew better. She knew he wanted to keep a close watch over his daughter.
It was nearly noon and Callie lay on her bed, staring at the closet when the phone rang. She stared at the protable and waited for it to stop ringing - her father would pick it up.It rang again and she decided that he was in the "studio" and couldn't hear it.
"Hello?" she questioned unsure - she didn't get to talk on the phone much.
"Callie?"
Callie's heart sank - it was Billy. Normally, she would be happy that he took the time to call her, but she knew why he was calling.
"B- Billy?" Callie questioned.
"Why?"
Callie sighed but didn't answer right away. "I didn't mean to," she began, trying not to let her voice break. "I just did it - and I realized that I went too deep too late."
"Callie... I swear..."
"You cut yourself too, Billy," Callie said. "Need I remind you of the cuts on YOUR wrists?"
"Yeah, but I don't go that deep." He paused to sigh. "Fuck, Callie - you've got so much to live for, but you can't see that yet."
"I have nothing to live for," Callie spat. "My mother is gone and I'm stuck with Kelly, I'm a social outcast and its fucking hard for me to care about shit anymore." She paused and let out a broken sigh. "You're one of the only reasons I haven't committed suicide yet."
"Good to know I'm good for something," Billy responded. "I'll see you around."
"Billy... wait..."
Billy hung up and left Callie, telling the other end not to hang up. They were both alone again and it almost killed them.
-----
It had been nearly two months since Thanksgiving and Callie's incident, and neither Billy nor Callie had seen or heard from each other. But Callie had other things on her mind other than just Billy.It was the middle of January and Callie knew something was wrong. She had known for almost a week and it killed her more than she had already killed herself.
She was pregnant.
She came home from school and decided to finally go through with what she had always been to afraid to do. Placing her back pack on the floor next to the front door, Callie left it there and marched herself up the stairs while tearing her coat and hat off and leaving them on the stairs.Once she was in her room, she dug all of the possessions she kept hidden under her bed and sorted what needed to be tossed, what needed to be taken, and what needed to be left out for later. After she had organized that, she took out a piece of lined notebook paper from one of her school notebooks and quickly scribbled her letter.
Dad,
Sorry things had to be this way, but I can't take it anymore. Kelly, life - not knowing my mom. Pretty much everything in the world pissed me off, but I'd never had a big enough motive to do what I had to do or the guts to until now. I am - or rather was - pregnant. I can't tell you with who's child, though - it would only kill you more that I probably already have. If you need to know, though, ask Paul - he'll know who's it was. I wanna get some things off my chest before I end this and my life: I smoke pot and I do drugs at least once a day. And I stole $30 from your wallet once. Sorry I don't have any money to pay you back, although you might find $80 under a lose floor board that's under my bed.I love you.
You're little girl,
Callie.
Tears splashed the page and Callie had to place the suicide note on her pillow before she made the ink run together. From her night stand she pulled out a bottle of aspirin and a half bottle of liquor she had taken from the kitchen a while back. She took the portable in her hands for a moment before dialing the seven digits she knew well.
"Hello?"
"I love you," Callie whispered.
"Callie?"
Callie hung up before Billy could figure out why she had called and stared at a blank spot on her wall before getting enough courage to swallow the pills. And she did. She swallowed every pill in the bottle and drank the entire bottle of liquor. She closed her eyes and placed both empty bottles on the floor before laying sideways across her bed, curled up in the fetal position.
-----
Kelly groaned as she noticed her step-daughter had left a trail of her belongings that led to her room. "Callie!" she shouted, beginning to climb the steps to her room. "Callie! Please clean your stuff up!" She was half way up the steps when the phone rang and she walked to the kitchen to answer it, but she was too late because Benji had already answered it.
"Hello?" Benji questioned, walking out into the entrance way from his studio. "Billy? Woah - calm down. I think Callie's home..."
He looked up at his wife who nodded yes, to confirm that Callie was home.
"Something's wrong? Why would she call you? Yeah, hold on..." Benji began to climb the steps, avoiding the mess Callie had created.
"Where are you going?" Kelly asked, looking up the stairs after him.
"Check on Callie," Benji replied. "Billy thinks somethings wrong."
Benji opened his daughter's room and found her fast asleep on her bed. "She's just sleeping..." Benji stopped and dropped the phone, the phone breaking into pieces on the hard wood flooring. He noticed the empty bottle of aspirin and the empty bottle of liquor that were laying on the floor and he knew what Callie had done. Quickly, he rushed to her side and picked her up. "Callie," he whispered sadly. "Callie... why?"
He tried not to cry as he held his daughter limply in his arms, rushing down the stairs. He could still hear her breathing, but it was becoming shallower by the second and he couldn't wait for an ambulance or the police to get to his house.
"Benji... what?" Kelly inquired but stopped when she noticed who was in his arms and tried not to scream. She followed him into the garage where he got into the back seat of Kelly's car with Callie, spread out on his lap. Kelly climbed into the driver's seat and looked back at Benji.
"Drive."