Live And Let Die
Chapter 16
By: Makena
Benji walked down the hospital hall's pleased, satisfied and angry, but glad he had finally gotten the chance to tell his father what he thought of him after all of those years he had been missing.
He turned into Makena's room to see her embraced in Paul's arms, tear stains still present on Makena's face. Benji cleared his throat to announce his presence and Paul and Makena looked up at him, letting go of each other.
"Hi," Paul said, standing back a little and shoving his hands deep into his back pockets. They had done nothing to be ashamed of, but Paul was blushing slightly. Benji ignored it and walked a little into the room where the an uncomfortable silence fell over the three.
"You look happy," Makena said quietly, looking over at Benji. He shrugged slightly and smiled a little. Paul cleared his throat.
"I'm gonna go get something to eat," he said. "I'll see you later..."
Makena nodded and watched him leave before turning her attention back to Benji, who said nothing. Neither of them said anything as Makena picked at the sheets and Benji softly kicked the ground.
"So... um... they're going to release me soon," she told him.
"That's good," Benji said. "You can come back home, then."
Makena sighed slightly. "Benji... I..." she paused. "I don't think I'm going to live with you anymore."
Benji frowned. "What do you mean?" Benji inquired. "I thought... maybe you'd stay..."
Again, Makena sighed and she turned her gaze back to the sheets she had been picking at. "That was before Gavin..." She stopped, unable to finish the sentence without either crying or choking on her own words. Benji knew what she was talking about. He sighed and looked down again.
"I know, but... maybe..."
Makena sighed. "You know, we never really had... anything," she said, wiping a few new tears from her face. "The only real thing we had between us was a son, and now he's gone..." she paused. "I don't really think I should stay with you anymore."
Benji frowned. "You can still stay," he told her. He paused. "Please stay."
"There's nothing for me to stay here for," Makena told him. "I belong in Michigan, not Maryland."
Benji groaned slightly and kicked the wall. "Why the fuck is the whole fucking world just falling apart?" he questioned. "Why?! Tell me, Makena? Why is everything just - agh!"
He kicked the closest chair and it slid across the room, stopping at the wall on the opposite side. Makena jumped slightly at his sudden out burst and looked up at him.
"Benji - look at me and tell me we have something other than a fucked up life."
Benji looked up at Makena, but he couldn't tell her they had something. Or really anything. They had sex twice - the first time they ended up with a kid. But that didn't really mean a whole lot. And most of the time Makena had lived with them, she had stayed mostly silent. Helpful around the house, but silent.
But Benji had defiantly felt more than just a friendship between them. Was it love? Maybe. There hadn't been enough time for them to really know each other, but there was defiantly something.
"See?" Makena asked, snapping Benji from his though. "Nothing."
Benji sighed. She was right. While he felt something for her, they had never really been a couple. "At least stay with us until your leg heals?" Benji asked. Yes. That was it - buy his time. He could get to know her and maybe she would stay.
Makena sighed slightly, but looked at her leg and realized it wouldn't be a wonderful idea to travel with a broken leg. "Okay," she agreed. "But only until my leg heals."
Benji smiled triumphantly to himself.
------
Benji walked back down the halls to see if Joel had finished "talking" to their father yet or not. Makena had fallen back to sleep as a result of some of the medications she was taking, and Benji needed some one to talk to.
Just as he was wondering where Joel was, Benji noticed his brother walking down the hall, muttering something under his breath with narrow eyes that shifted to the ground, lost in thought.
"Joel?" Benji questioned when Joel nearly passed by his brother. He stopped and looked up at Benji, surprised as his train of thought had stopped.
"Oh - hi," he said, slightly spaced.
"How was your talk with dad?" Benji asked. Joel shuddered a little.
"I tried to yell at him. He wouldn't even fucking flinch - I don't get it. I told him he was probably the worst person in the world - and he just SAT there. I fucking told him I'd like to see him burn in hell, and he just said 'you're a little pissed, huh?' What the fuck?!"
Benji sighed and shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"I don't want to see him again," Joel said. "He - he pisses me off." He paused and looked at Benji, who was kicking the ground a little, lost in his own thoughts.
"Um... I know you probably don't really wanna say anything, but... is everything okay?"
Benji sighed and shrugged again. "I guess," he lied.
"You really suck at lying, you know," Joel said. "Besides - I'm your fucking twin. I know about shit."
Benji shrugged. "It's nothing..." he began. Joel cocked an eyebrow at him. He sighed. He knew he was a bad liar, and he knew Joel realized something was up. He also knew that, sooner or later, Joel would have to know that Makena was moving out, but he didn't really want to talk about it.
"Benji!" Benji looked up at Joel in surprise and blinked.
"Umm... Makena's going to move out once her leg heals." Joel frowned, but allowed Benji to finish before saying anything. "She said she didn't really have a reason to stay." He paused and shrugged, absently kicking the floor. "I don't really want her to go."
Joel thought about it for a moment. "I don't know her too well," he admitted. "She's pretty much just been Makena to me. But - if you like her like I THINK you like her, you'll let her do whatever makes her happy."
Benji looked up at Joel, surprised at his advice. Was Joel SUPPOSED to say that? Wasn't he just supposed to pat him on the shoulder and wish him "good luck"? It was good advice, Benji had to admit at least that. He was just a little surprised that it came from Joel.
"Thanks," Benji said, adding a smile.
"Anytime," Joel replied.
"I'm gonna go get something to eat," Benji said, glancing at his watch. "Jesus - it's almost six. I'm starving!"
"I'm gonna head home," Joel told him. "Did you want to come with?"
Benji shook his head. "I want to stay here," he said. Joel hesitated, but allowed Benji to stay. He was, after all, eating again.
They both walked their separate ways, Benji towards the cafeteria, Joel towards the parking lot. On his way to the cafeteria, Benji ran across Shannon, who was being hit on by a patient. Benji rolled his eyes and groaned slightly when he recognized the patient as his father, and quickly walked over to Shannon, hoping to leave as quickly as he had arrived.
"Oh, hi Benji," Shannon said, adding a small smile. Benji tugged at her arm, trying to walk away.
"Let's go get something to eat," he said, trying not to look at his father.
"Wait... Benji!" Shannon said with a laugh, stumbling as she resisted Benji's persistent tugs at her arm. "I was just talking to this guy - his name is John."
"Yeah, I know him," Benji said, taking a small breath.
"Oh," Shannon said, frowning slightly as she looked between the two. "How do you know him?"
"He's my dad," Benji said, pulling Shannon's arm again. "Let's go."
Shannon went willingly, stumbling as she turned to say "bye!" to the man. They walked in silence, they bought their food in silence, and they sat down across from each other - in silence.
"I know it's probably not your favorite subject," Shannon began, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "But... was that really your dad?"
Benji sighed and nodded. Shannon knew the story of Benji's father. Half the world knew.
"Wow," she said. She paused to take a drink from her cup. "If I were you, I'd try to talk to him."
"You're not me," Benji reminded her. "And I remember you don't exactly favor your father, either."
Shannon shrugged and sighed. "That's kind of a different story," she told him. "He never left - *I* ended up leaving." She paused. "You should try to make amends with your dad."
"Should I?" Benji questioned skeptically. "And why should I do that?"
Shannon shrugged slightly. "Because if you don't, you'll keep going on with your life, wondering whatever became of him."
"Ah - what if I don't care what becomes of him?" Benji inquired.
"Then at leas forgive him," she told him. "That way, you can... I don't know... get all that "my dad is a bastard" shit out of you."
Benji sighed slightly and shrugged. She made sense. But he didn't know if he truly forgave his dad yet or not.