Live And Let Die
Chapter 17
By: Makena
Joel passed Makena's room before he had made it to the parking lot and paused at her door. She was awake, flipping through TV stations. Joel thought for a moment, but shrugged and knocked on the door frame. Makena looked up, slightly surprised when she realized that it was Joel.
"Um... hi," she said.
"Hi," Joel said.
"You can come in," she began. She paused. "I don't know where Benji is, if that's what you were wondering..."
Joel shook his head. "He went to the cafeteria," he told her. "I just came by to see you."
"Oh," Makena said, still a little surprised. "Well... okay."
Joel walked into the room and pulled a chair up so he sat next to Makena's bed. Neither of them said anything as Makena turned the TV off.
"I know we're not exactly... close... " Joel began. "I don't think we've ever really had a conversation."
"Probably not," she replied, pausing. "Well... a couple times in high school, but yeah. I know what you mean."
"I just figured I should ask you something before I head home," Joel continued. Makena nodded.
"Okay," she said. Joel hesitated for a moment.
"Why are you leaving?" he asked. Makena bit her bottom lip for a moment.
"There's just nothing here for me," she replied slowly, adding, "Nooffense."
"None taken," Joel responded.
"Why do you ask?" Makena inquired
"Whether you realized it or not, Benji does like you," Joel told her. "I don't know how far it goes, but it's definitely above friendship."
"Oh." She had to think about that for a moment. She knew love had to go both waysfor a relationship to work. But she also knew she liked him, too. She didn't know much, but she didn't know how long it would last, ether.
"When you were in a coma, he stayed next to you," Joel continued. "It was impossible to move him. He just sat here for a week, making sure you would wake up and everything would be okay."
Makena looked back over at Joel, slightly surprised at the news she had just received. Joel shrugged and stood up, walking towards the door.
"Thought you ought to know," he said, leaving Makena slightly confused and shocked.
------
Benji nervously stood outside his father's room, going through what he was going to say in his mind. A doctor came out and Benji waited for the nurse to follow before slipping inside.
His father was lying on the bed, reading from a magazine. Gray light poured into the room through the open curtains.Benji cleared his throat to make his presence known, and John looked up athim, slightly surprised.
"I didn't think I'd see you again," he spoke bluntly.
"You mean since yesterday or since I was 16?" Benji inquired. John rolled his eyes.
"You know what I meant."
Benji shook his head. "No," he replied. "I really don't."
"Yesterday," John responded. Benji nodded.
"I came by to do a couple of things," he said, cutting straight to thechase.
"Did you?" John asked. "What did you want?"
"First, I wanted to let you know that I forgive you," Benji said, looking straight at his father. "I don't want to hold a grudge against some one I don't even know anymore."
"I see..." his father said, a little happy to hear that at least one out of his four kids forgave him. "What was the other thing?"
"I came to say good bye," Benji said.
"Good bye?" his father echoed. Benji nodded.
"I never got a chance to say good bye the first time," he explained. "I wanted to make sure I did this time."
"This time?" John repeated. "I don't understand."
"You made a choice a long time ago," Benji began. "And that was to leave your kids behind. You can't suddenly change your mind now - you left us, end of story. I want to say good bye one more time before I leave, still fatherless."
"Wait a minute..." John began. Benji shook his head.
"You left with the intent of never seeing any of us again. So I'm going to say good bye and pretended that I never saw you, because I know seeing me wasn't anywhere in your plan."
John looked at Benji and studied his face for a minute. "You're serious," he said. Benji nodded. His father pondered for a moment before nodding in agreement.
"Alright then," he said. "Good bye, son. It was nice to see you again."
Benji hesitated, but stepped forward and wrapped his father in his arms, taking both by surprise. John hugged him back before Benji let go.
"Good bye, John," he said. He turned around and began to walk from the room.
"Tell Joel good bye for me," John said. Benji paused, turned and nodded. He lingered for a moment before he nodded to himself and walked away,satisfied.
"Boo!" Shannon said. Benji jumped slightly, but continued to walk down the hall once he realized who it was.
"I saw you in there," she said, walking with him down the halls.
"I figured you did," Benji said, putting his hands in his hoodie pocket.
"I'm proud of you," Shannon said, hugging him from the side. Benji just smiled.
------
Benji parked at the closets possible place and put the car in park. He looked over at Makena, who was sitting in the passenger seat. She had been staring blankly out the window, letting her head rest in her hand. Benji sighed slightly, and she looked over at him.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. Makena took in a long, broken breath and nodded.
"Yeah," she replied, slowly blinking. Benji sighed to himself as he climbed out of the car and walked towards the trunk where he opened it up and grabbed what little possessions Makena owned. He paused when he noticed that Makena was still sitting in the car.
It was midsummer. Makena's leg was completely healed, except for the fact that she still limped a little, and now she was going home to Michigan.
She had bought herself a bus ticket, because she couldn't let Benji do any more for her.
Benji raised the sunglasses that had been covering his eyes and perched them on his head, trying to see what Makena was doing in the car. He set her bag down and walked to her door, opening it before thinking otherwise.
Makena fell a little, but managed to catch herself before she fell completely out of the car, seeming to come out of a trance. Benji couldn't help but laugh slightly as Makena rubbed her eyes tiredly and slowly stepped out of the car.
"Sorry," she muttered, blushing slightly. Benji shut the door and picked her bag up, both of them walking through the parking lot in silence. Makena - in shorts, a white tank top and black zip up hoodie - crossed her arms uncomfortably and limped slightly. Benji walked slowly beside her, the red duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
Neither of them said anything as they walked into the bus station and found out that they were a good 45 minuets early. Benji bought the two of them some drinks as they returned to the summer heat outside, sitting down on one of the benches. Neither of them said anything for a while.
"I can't believe you're leaving," Benji said finally, breaking all silence between them. Makena sighed a little.
"Yeah..." she said. She didn't know what else to say. Agree? Just nod and say "I know"?
"I wish you would stay," Benji blurted when she said nothing else. Makena looked up at him and sighed a little, bringing her legs up and hugging them.
"There's nothing for me here anymore, Benji," she said, staring off into the distance in front of her. Benji sighed.
"Oh," is the only thing he said. Neither of them said anything after that, but they both knew what was on each other's minds.Gavin. He would be on both of their minds until they either died or began to suffer from Alzheimer's.
Even then, they probably wouldn't forget. They sipped their pops for a while more, silently listening to the katydids as Benji tried to conceal a burp.
Makena smiled suddenly. Benji looked at her questioningly.
"What?" he asked. Makena smiled and shrugged, swinging her legs back and forward over the ground.
"When Gavin was three, he used to do this stupid thing with his fingers that always made me laugh," she told Benji. "He would hold his index fingers out and point at the other and struggle to put them together, like there was some kind of force filed between them."
Benji laughed slightly as they fell silent for a moment again.
"You know," Makena began again. "Having a kid when I did totally altered everything I had planed for the future."
Benji looked at her, slightly guilty, but wanting to know if she had more to say or if that was it.
"When I had Gavin, I still watched Saturday morning cartoons and hung out with my friends at the mall. But once he was born... there was no freedom.
No way in hell could I just "hang out" or wake up in time for cartoons." She paused and smiled a little. "But - Gavin was so... special. I loved him so much those things didn't even matter to me anymore."
She paused again. Benji noticed that she was beginning to cry - something she hadn't done since she had been released from the hospital.
"I don't want that freedom again," she said as she began to sob. "I just want Gavin back."
Benji set his pop down on the gray cement and turned to embrace Makena. She cried on his shoulder, sniffing in effort to keep the tears in.
"Shhh..." Benji whispered, trying to calm her down. "That's all behind you now. Live and let die, Makena. Live and let die." Makena let out a broken sigh and nodded, trying to dry the tears from her face.
From around the corner, a large silver and blue Greyhound bus slowly pulled up to the stop and let people off. Makena took her duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder, taking in a couple of deep breaths to get a hold of her bearings. Benji stood and faced her. Neither of them knew what to say or do.
"Well... I guess this is it," Makena said finally. "Good bye, Benji."
She stuck out her hand for Benji to shake. He looked at her hand, slightly disappointed, but took it, looking back up at her.
"Good bye," he repeated. Makena smiled at him before slowly turning around, making her way to the bus. Benji stood and watched her walk away. He became surprised when he watched her stop and turn around, making her way back towards him.
"I meant to give this to you," she said, digging into the side pocket of her duffel bag. From it she took out a picture, the edges slightly bent and torn.
"Sorry it's a little crapped up," she apologized. "I thought you might like to have it."
With that, she sighed slightly and turned away, climbing up and onto the bus. Benji looked down at the picture and turned it over to view it. The picture was of him and Gavin, sleeping soundly on the couch while his arm had been wrapped around Gavin's tiny waist.
He smiled and looked up at the bus, which was beginning to pull out of the parking lot. He waved a last good bye at Makena, who gave him a half smile and returned the gesture.
Benji watched the bus leave, turning left to leave Waldorf.
"Live and let die," he reminded himself with a sigh, looking down at the picture again. "Live and let die."
The End.