Live And Let Die
Chapter 7
By: Makena
Benji glanced at himself in the mirror and groaned.
'What the fuck is your problem, Benji?'
'I don't know - I'm such a prick.'
'She made you breakfast, you know. You could have at least eaten more than a bite of eggs.'
'Shut up - I know I'm an ass, okay? I don't need you to tell me.'
'You ruined her life, and she made you breakfast.'
Benji rested his forehead against the wall before banging his head against it a couple of times.
"Stupid, stupid," he muttered through clenched teeth.
'You're worthless.'
Benji shook his head and tried to make it go away.
"I'm going insane," he said for the second time that day. It had been a daily occurrence for him to have conversations with himself in his mind since he had given up alcohol. He had made it stop for a day when he had taken some of the tequila, but it was back and stronger than ever.
He stepped out of the bathroom, running his hand through his wet hair before walking to his bedroom. He shut the door tightly behind him and walked to his dresser where he extracted his half empty bottle of tequila. He unscrewed the cap and took a couple of swigs before he recapped it and pushed it back into the drawer.
"No," he said. "I'm not supposed to..."
Although he knew it was wrong to drink, wrong to continue to consume what had made his life miserable, but he felt so much better when there wasn't a nagging voice at the back of his mind, telling him he was worthless or that he had fucked things up again.
He stepped out of his room and walked down the stairs to see Makena walking around the house, looking for something.
"Need something?" Benji questioned. Makena stopped searching through a drawer and looked up at him.
"Ummm... I was looking for a key," she told him. "I was going to go into the store, and I need a house key."
"I'll be here all day," Benji said. "I won't lock the door."
Makena nodded. "Oh. Okay." She paused. "Would you watch Gavin while I'm gone? I'll be gone for maybe an hour or so."
Benji nodded. Makena paused, as if she was about to say something, but shook her head and put her shoes on.
"Do you want to borrow my car?" Benji said finally. "Cause, then you won't have to walk..."
Makena hesitated. "Ahh... sure," Makena said. Benji walked to the small table by the door and opened the drawer, finding a set of keys and handing them to Makena.
"Everyone else is gone," Benji said. "I guess that leaves my car."
Makena nodded and sighed slightly. "Thanks," she said. Benji nodded and watched her leave. He sighed and walked around to the living room, surprised to see Gavin sitting quietly on the couch, staring at the TV in front of him. But it wasn't on.
"Hi," Benji said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Gavin looked up at him for a moment. Benji looked at his son - his dark eyes, his dark hair. He was just like him, but he was young. Innocent. Perfect.
"Hi," Gavin said finally. There was a long pause as Gavin continued to look at the TV.
"Did you want to watch TV?" he asked. Gavin nodded. Benji reached for the remote that sat on the coffee table that was sitting in front of the couch and handed it to Gavin.
He took it and looked at it for a moment, looking for the power button. He found it and was about to turn the TV on when he hesitated and looked up at Benji.
"Are you my dad?" he asked. Benji looked at him with a surprised look on his face.
"Uhh... yeah," he replied slowly. "Yeah."
Gavin nodded, satisfied with the reply, and turned the TV on.
-----
Makena returned from her shopping a couple of hours later, carrying two brown grocery bags with her. She opened the door with some difficulty, trying to escape the coldness of the January weather.
"You made a touchdown?!"
Makena's head snapped up at the living room to see Benji and Gavin, sitting on the couch and playing football on a PS2. Gavin had, apparently, just made a touchdown and Benji couldn't believe it.
"Come here," Benji said.
"No!" Gavin yelled as Benji wrapped his arm around Gavin's neck and began to rub his son's head vigorously.
"Hey," Makena said finally, trying to make her presence known. Benji stopped and looked up at Makena. Gavin broke lose from Benji's grip and looked up at his mother, smiling with lop-sided hair.
"What are you two doing?" Makena asked, managing to kick her shoes off as she balanced her grocery bags in both arms.
"Benji - I mean dad - has a Play Station," Gavin began excitedly. Benji secretly beamed at the word dad. "And we watched some TV and we made smoothies. Sort of."
Makena frowned slightly and bent her body around to the left to peer into the kitchen - they had, in fact, attempted to make smoothies, which appeared to be more on the counters than in the glasses that were sitting on the coffee table in front of them.
"So I see," she said, trying not to laugh. She placed the bags on the table and looked over at the couch as Gavin and Benji began to play PS again.
'Well, Benji,' she thought. 'You certainly have changed.'
-----
"Breakfast AND dinner?"
"I'm gonna start calling you mom."
"This is good - where'd you learn how to cook?"
Makena beamed at the compliments being thrown at her as she dug into her own dinner. She had made another meal for them in gratitude of them letting her stay with them. She didn't have another way to repay them, and she figured this would be the best way until she had a job.
"We'd usually be eating pizza by now," Billy said. "This is definitely better."
"Thanks," Makena said, blushing slightly. "I didn't know what to make with three vegetarian's in the... place."
She blushed slightly and shoveled a fork full of alfredo pasta into her mouth. She had almost called it a house, but realized she wasn't comfortable calling it a house, especially since it wasn't hers and she hadn't seen any of the people living in it since her senior year of high school.
Benji glanced at Makena for a moment before looking back at Gavin, who was leaning over the table for another piece of garlic bread.
"Please?" Benji questioned, stopping Gavin from leaning forward any further and pushing the garlic bread away. Gavin pouted slightly and sat back in his seat.
"Please?" Gavin repeated. Benji grabbed a couple of pieces of garlic bread and placed them on Gavin's plate. "Thank you."
Benji nodded and glanced back up at Makena, who just looked at him, slightly amazed. He blushed slightly and tried to continue eating. He noticed Joel staring at him, some what happily, from the corner of his eye.
"Looks like some one's got this father thing down already," Billy said from the opposite side of the table before taking a sip of his beer.