Possessions
Chapter 9
By: Makena
Benji had taken what Joel had told him into consideration and thought about it the rest of the day, moping around his hotel room until Joel kicked him out. Benji, having no where to go, retreated to the lobby with his note book and guitar to finish his song.
He was surprised to see Paul, slouching deep in the forest green couch down in the lobby, lost in a book he had nearly finished. Curious, Benji sat down in the maroon colored chair across from the couch Paul was sitting in, clearing his throat. When Paul didn't notice, he tossed a magazine in his friend's direction, finally catching his attention. Paul glanced up at Benji before yawning slightly and putting a finger between the pages he had been reading.
"What are you doing down here?" Benji asked, frowning slightly. Paul yawned again and stretched his arms, rubbing his tired eyes.
"It's too damn loud up there," he explained. "Chris and Billy were arguing..."
"Oh," Benji responded, nodding before glancing at Paul's book. "What are you reading?"
Paul glanced down at his book for a second before he replied to Benji's question. "It's called "Anarchy Divided"," he told Benji, looking at his book. "It's about anarchy over ruling half of America in the future, but unevenly so, like, New York is a rebel state and everything to Virginia could be anarchist country. Basically, this guy is trying to reunite the States because he realizes that both anarchy and democracy are flawed." He paused. "It's actually really good - I'm almost finished with it. You should read it."
Benji shrugged. "I'm not much of a reader," he told Paul honestly.
Paul shook his head and leaned forward so that he was closer to Benji. "You might be interested in this book," he insisted, pushing it into Benji's hands. Benji glanced at it and flipped throughout some pages before coming to the back cover, glancing at the author's picture for a second before doubling back once he realized that he knew her; Makena.
There, on the back cover, was a black and white picture of Makena, her long hair blown slightly back by a slight breeze as she rested her chin in her folded hands, sitting on the branch of a blossoming cherry tree. He turned his gaze on Paul, who was giving him an "I told you so" look with an added grin on his face.
"I didn't know she wrote," Benji confessed, looking at the cover for a minute. "Can I borrow this?"
Paul nodded but reached over again, taking his book back. "When I'm finished with it." He paused and glanced at Benji, debating on weather or not he should say more. "You know, Makena's sort of... sad."
Benji sighed and rolled his eyes slightly. "I know, I know," he replied. "Spare me - Joel's already had this talk with me."
"Then you know you have to do something about it, right?"
Benji frowned slightly. "Why is this my responsibility?" he asked loudly. "Why am I supposed to suddenly be the person she needs?!"
"Because, Benji," Paul began angrily, rising from his seat, his book held in a tightly closed fist. "You're the one who fucked her in high school and you're the one who gave her Gavin!"
Benji glared up at Paul, his temper rising. "And you're the one who took him away from her."
Paul's expression didn't soften, but hardened with pain and awe, hardly able to believe that Benji had brought up something he had tried to kill himself over more than a year earlier.
"That was cold, man," Paul muttered angrily, turning away from him as he began to walk to the elevators, leaving Benji alone in the lobby.
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The familiar sounds of Dashboard Confessionals drifted into the bathroom from the radio beside her bed, the depressing songs sticking in her mind as she glance at her reflection. Her eyes were slightly blood shot and it was obvious that she suffered from lack of sleep. She stared at herself and picked up a silver object from the marble counter and raising it to her blond hair.
Without a moment of hesitation, she began to cut her long, blond hair randomly so that pieces fell to the sink and floor beneath. She stood in front of the mirror, hacking her hair shorter and shorter until she was finally satisfied with the results.
She placed the scissors down on the counter and scooped up a box of black hair dye. Reading the directions first, she carefully began to apply the permanent dye to her newly shortened hair style and stepped into the shower.
Nearly an hour later, she forced herself out of the warm water to answer the phone, which rang endlessly in the other room. Groaning, she wrapped a white towel around her body and raced to catch it before it was too late.
"Hello?" she gasped, nearly tripping over her suitcase.
"Makena?" Aaron's voice questioned from the opposite line.
"Yeah," she replied, sitting herself down on her bed as she turned her radio down. "Hey."
"Hey," Aaron said, sounding slightly relieved, though Makena wasn't sure why. "What are you doing?"
"I just got out of the shower," Makena responded truthfully, conveniently forgetting to mention that she had both hacked most of her hair clean off her head and it was now quite black in color as opposed to her natural blond.
"Got any plans for lunch tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.
"No. Why? Aren't you and Raemie going to go some where?"
"Nope. She's got a class." He paused. "You wanna grab something to eat with me?"
Makena shook her head playfully, feeling the new weightlessness as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Sure," she replied, suddenly curious about the reactions her new look would receive. "I'll see you at lunch."
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Benji knocked softly on the door across the hall from his and waited for a response. When he received none, he tried again.
"She's not in there," some one from behind said, causing Benji to spin around. Billy was standing in the doorway between his room and the hall, his hand resting on the silver handle.
"Where is she?" Benji questioned.
"Lunch with Aaron," Billy replied, shutting the door behind him. "Paul wants a cigarette and I decided to leave him alone for a while, cause, you know, I'm trying to quit and shit." He paused. "Plus, he's in a piss ass mood."
Benji sighed slightly, feeling the familiar sensation of guilt gnawing at his gut; he knew Paul was thinking about Gavin's death and he knew it was his own fault. But, to be fair to himself, it hadn't been Paul's son - it had been Benji's.
"Well, if you see her, tell her I want to talk to her."
Billy nodded but laughed slightly. "I'll try," he said.
Benji frowned. "What does that mean?" he asked, slightly confused.
"It means that I'll try," Billy explained simply. "She's not exactly the people person she used to be..."
"Don't," Benji stopped him, closing his eyes as he felt a headache beginning to develop. "I have been through this with Joel and Paul and I don't need to hear it from you, too."
Billy shrugged. "I didn't say anything," he said, whipping his card key into the back pocket of his black pants. "I'm gonna go into town for a bit - think about what Joel and Paul told you so I don't have to repeat them."
Billy gave Benji a slight grin as he walked off. Benji rolled his eyes and kicked Makena's door before walking across the hall to his own room, pounding on the door in hopes that Joel would let him in.
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Paul opened the door to New Moon and listened as the bells attached to the inside of the door rang. He glanced around the store and took in the familiar smokey smell the store gave off. He had needed to get out of the hotel - it had been a long day and he knew it would be a while before he willingly spoke to Benji. Sure, it was childish, but he hated the memory of Gavin.
He looked at some posters and some life-sized cardboard cutouts that included Alice Cooper, Austin Powers, and Axel Rose. There were two other people in the store besides him and no sign of an employee anywhere. Paul shrugged to himself and strode over to CD's, flipping through each one. He heard the bells on the door jingle as some one stepped in and, at the same time, noticed as the side office door flew open and a soft cloud of smoke escaped along with a blue and black haired girl.
"Get out!" she screamed. Paul turned to see a young, pre-teen girl wearing a light pink t-shirt and pink glitter across her face. Her eyes grew wide and she darted out in fear. Paul turned back around to look at the girl who was menacingly holding an old base ball in her fist, making sure the girl was really gone. She turned towards Paul and her angered expression twisted into a mix of disbelief and surprise.
"Paul?!" she asked, half yelling. Paul glanced at her a little more closely and realized that he knew her.
"Shannon!" he cried. Shannon raced towards him and they embraced for a moment.
"Why the fuck haven't you called me?" Shannon asked in pretend rage, hitting him across the chest. Paul grinned.
"What's up?" he asked before glancing down at the base ball still clutched in Shannon's fist. "What is that for?"
"A couple of little fuckers have been invading the store," she explained with a grin, tossing the ball up in the air a couple of times. "I was going to throw this at them, but I guess I didn't need to... this time." They laughed as she moved towards the counter, Paul following her.
"So what's up with you?" Shannon asked. "Are you here for Aaron's wedding?"
Paul nodded. "Yeah," he replied. Shannon nodded.
"I wasn't invited, but I think I'll go anyway," Shannon told him with a small laugh. "Makena said it'd be okay."
Paul shrugged. "Benji's going," he told her with a slight hit of dislike, "so I'm sure Aaron wouldn't mind."
Shannon raised an eyebrow at her friend. "That sounded nice," she said sarcastically. "What'd Benj do?"
Paul sighed. "He brought up the whole Gavin thing again," he replied slowly, sighing. "He kind of blamed me for it and shit." He paused. "It's kind of not a good subject to bring up, since I - you know... attempted suicide..."
Shannon's expression softened and she came in to embrace Paul. "It's okay," she told him. "You know it wasn't your fault."
"Yeah," Paul lie, plastering a smile across is face for the benefit of his friend. "I know."