I Can Save You
Chapter 8
By: Makena
Benji returned to his hotel room hours later, his arms bleeding profoundly, both on his upper and lower arms. He ignored whoever looked at him and told whoever asked that he was fine and that he had just gotten himself into a little accident.
Which was true, for the most part.
Depressed, confused, angry and hurt, Benji had gone insane near a bus station on the other side of the city and had found a sharp piece of glass before he completely covered his arms in cuts. When he found that hadn't been enough, he picked fights with whomever he knew would win and he received a black eye and possible internal bleeding before he nearly blacked out and fell backwards onto a metal bench. He stayed there until he was sure that he didn't receive any internal injuries and began the journey back to his hotel.
The first time he seemed to realize what he had done to himself was half way to his hotel room, but didn't seem too surprised or guilty. It had felt good, and he knew he would do it again. When, he wasn't sure.
He returned to his room, slipping the card key into it's slot before pushing the door open and stumbling inside, looking around. Fey was no where to be found, but light poured out from the crack in the bottom of the bathroom door. Benji, still angry at her but curious as to where she was, pushed the door open in hopes that Fey was dressed. And alive.
The white tile contained small stains of light red, blood mixed with water from Benji's shower. Fey lay curled up on the floor against the bathtub, a razor inches from her. At first, Benji couldn't tell if she had killed herself, but soon saw her chest rise and fall and he knew she was simply just sleeping. Benji sighed and closed the door, returning to the bed where he curled up himself on top of the covers and fell asleep.
---
The next morning, Benji awoke to a note scribbled by Fey in blue ink. Her things were gone from the bedside except the small notebook she had been keeping, which had been dumped in the trash can.Benji read the note a couple of times, trying to adjust his eyes.
Benji-
I sold the car this morning, and we'll be taking a bus the rest of the way to LA. I'll wait outside for you - I'll have the tickets. Don't forget to eat breakfast.
Love, Fey.
Benji crumpled the note in his hands and tossed it on the floor before grabbing his bag from beside the dresser. From his bag he retrieved a hat and he jammed it onto his head before closing the bag back up and walking from his hotel room once more.
Outside he found Fey, dressed in her white tank top and light jeans. There was no shirt that covered her arms up this time, however, and new cuts were highly visible along her forearms as she sat, waiting for Benji to join her. Smugly, Benji dropped his bag next to her and sat down, crossing his arms across his chest. Fey looked over at him but didn't give him her usual smile. Instead, she glanced at him for a minute and ran her eyes along his arms, noticing his new collection of cuts.
She sighed to herself and slowly dug two tickets from her back pack, handing one to Benji. He stared at it for a minuet before taking it and blankly looking at it.
"It's your bus ticket," she explained. "They're picking us up here shortly."
That was all either of them said to each other until the bus arrived, stopping just in front of them. It was a large Greyhound Charter bus and, despite it's size, there were only about four or five other people riding besides Fey and Benji.
The two climbed aboard and found seats on opposite sides of the bus as well as different rows.
---
The bus arrived in LA in the late afternoon, leaving Benji and Fey alone on the streets of an unknown city. Benji had been there before, of course, and it was about to become Fey's new residence, but neither had much of an idea as to where they really were except the Greyhound bus station. Fey walked up to Benji and opened her mouth to speak before Benji interrupted her.
"No," he said. "I don't care what you have to say or what you think, and I especially don't care about you."
"I just wanted to see if you wanted to share a hotel room with me," Fey replied softly, her usual perkiness and smile completely vanished. "You know, until we find places to live."
Benji shook his head again.
"No," he said again. "I never, ever want to see you again. You will go one way and I am going to go back east to live with my brother and the rest of my band because I don't give a flying fuck anymore. Okay? I just don't give a damn. It was great of you to try, but it won't work, so just leave me alone."
Fey, who looked like she was about to cry, nodded and silently wiped the tears from her eyes before they had a chance to fall.
"Okay," she whispered, clutching her backpack. "I guess this is goodbye."
"Yeah," Benji said without regret. "It is."
Benji said nothing as he slung his bag across his back and slowly began to walk in the direction of the airport, looking about for signs of a taxi.
Fey watched, tears now streaming from her eyes as she slowly fingered the cuts on her arms. Silently, almost in a whisper, she began to sing. "If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here..."
Epilogue--
Within a a couple of weeks after Benji left, Fey quit her job at Gypsy and opened up her own record shop while seeking help for her "impulsive self destruction."
Benji, never fully recovering, suffered from a mental break down after a year and slit his wrists with an exacto knife. The accident hadn't taken his life, but a week later he was found lying on his bedroom floor, an overdose of anti-depressants and vodka found in his stomach.
Joel quit Good Charlotte but continued to write songs he eventually released in his own albums after further learning how to play the guitar, becoming a solo artist.
Paul and Billy joined a new band that broke up after three albums and the two settled down in Waldorf.
There is no perfect ending. Stories that end perfectly are fake and you know it can't be right. If you didn't like this ending, make up your own. But that's life.