A Thousand Times Before
Chapter 4
By: Nicole
(Nic's POV)
I woke up early the next morning, and somehow managed to escape the death grip Billy had formed around my waist. I grabbed my CD collection and made my way into the living room. I put Box Car Racer into the stereo, number 10 "There Is". It played softly on repeat, lulling my into an daze with a million memories rushing into my had as soon as it started playing.
*****Flashback******
"Matt..?" A fifteen year old Nic stood at his doorstep, soaked and shivering from the 10 minute walk in the rain from her house to his.She had her hoodie pulled over her head, hiding her face in it's shallow shadow.
"Nic? What happened?" He pulled her into his house and led her to his room. "We had another fight.." She pulled back her hood, showing her freshly bleeding nose and multiple cuts on her face and neck.
He handed her a pair of his clothes, Dickies and a white wifebeater, and left the room for her to change. "I'll be in the computer room when you get done."
She smiled and changed into the dry clothes. His room was dimly lit by a single candle on his desk, despite the strung lights around his room. He always lit a candle when he was writing something. He had Box Car Racer's "There Is" playing in the background.Curious, she walked over to his desk and picked up the notebook..
Dear Nic, I hope you don't mind if this letter is shorter than usual, but I only have one thing to tell you. First off I must say how beautiful you look today, wait you look beautiful everyday. Okay well, I guess I can't hide from this forever. Nic... I think I'm in love with you.
Those notes you wrote me I've kept them all I'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall With every single letter in every single word there Will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl
I've been trying to hide it for a year now and I don't think it wants to hide anymore. Everytime I hear a sappy love song I break down becuase I think of you. If you don't feel the same, I understand, but please don't let this effect our friendship Nic..I don't think I could go on without you..
She set the notebook back in it's place and made her way into his computer room. She could hear the clicking from his typing as she approached his big chair. His back was facing her and he was talking to one of his friends on AIM..
GCDrummerBoyNFG says: Hey
xTHExChadx says: hey man, whats up?
GCDrummerBoyNFG says: Nic came over to my house again..
xTHExChadx says: seriously? she gonna stay?
GCDrummerBoyNFG says: Well I'm not sending her back..
xTHExChadx says: as long as you two don't do anything *wink wink*
GCDrummerBoyNFG says: Dude that's not funny.. Hey man I gotta go
xTHExChadx says: aiight, call me later peace!
He spun around is his chair to face her. "Sorry about that.." She smiled softly and just nodded, her voice barely a whisper."It's okay.." He stodd up and led her back to his room. he flopped down on his bed "You can spend the night if you want, my beds big eough to share and my mom won't mind.." She nodded and sat down beside him, her fingers brushing across his arm. "Thanks.."
The song on repeat had started over again..
This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives whet buy so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you but you swear you loved me more
Do you care if I don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is
"I read the letter.." She suddenly found his off white carpet to be the most intresting the in the world. "And I liked it.."
His head snapped in her direction. She slowly lifted her head, her cheeks tinted a light pink. He grinned and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you liked it.."
*********End Flashback**********
My shirt was soaked with tears.
*****Another flashback, a year later******
"I can't believe you'd do this to me...And with her of all people!" She wrapped her arms around her shaking body. She'd had another fight with the people she lived with and as usual she ran to Matt. It was snowing and she only had on a pair of dickies, a wifebeater with a thin fishnet shirt over it and her chucks.
"I'm..I'm sorry Nic..Can you forgive me..?" He looked at her pleadingly.
"I can't..It's over.." she squeezed her arms closer to herself as she ran down the street, the snow atleast three inches now. She eventually reached her friend Kyle's house after stopping several times to try and warm her numb and tired body. She spent the night there and didn't hear from Matt agian for weeks..
*******End Flashback******
Billy waved his hand infront of my face "Earth to Nic..Sweetie snap out of it."
I shook my head, finally comming out of the daze. I looked up into Billy's eyes and instantly broke into a smile. "Billy, your awake!"
He laughed and wedged himself into the over-sized chair with me. "I woke up without my angel beside me."
I nuzzled into his chest. "Do you ever think we took this relationship too fast? I mean I kissed you to wake you up and after that it was like all boundries were open.."
He wrapped his arms around me. "I did at first, but I don't anymore.. I'm really glad it happened so fast. We didn't have time to think about it, it just..happened" he kissed me on my forehead. "Nic..what where you spacing out about?"
I sighed. 'The past..That song brought back alot of memories.."
Benji burst into our room, fully dressed in dickies,a MADE hoodie, whatever he had under that, and his usual chucks. "Biiiilly! Jooooel! We gotta go in 10 minutes!"
Joel and Kerri walked out of her bedroom, Kerri in her bright baby blue UFO's, a blue tank top with a while fishnet shirt over it and a pair of white DC's, Joel in khaki dickies, a white East Coast Clothing shirt, and chucks.
Paul was waiting by the elevator. "Lets go!" If anyone on the floors below and above us was asleep, they were awake now due to Paul's shouting.
Billy had already changed into black dickies, a black shirt with a red star on it, and a pair of chucks. He stood up and pulled me up with him. "Are you gonna go change or what?"
I shook my head and slipped on my DC's, identical to Kerri's, and threw on Billy's custom made Level 27 hoodie with 'Billy' on the back. "Nah, I'll go in my pajamas."
We all made our way out of the room and piled into the elevator. We made our way out of the hotel and into the boys rented van since the tour bus was too large to take just for a store signing. It was Benji driving, Paul in the passenger side, Joel and Kerri on the front row, and Billy and me on the back row.
When we reached the huge CD store we all piled out and quickly filed into the store. The boys were directed to a table with four chairs(They were sitting from < side to > side: Paul, Billy, Joel, Benji). Kerri squeezed a chair between Joel and Benji, so she was on Joel's left. He draped his left arm over her shoulder and she rested her head on his chest.
I on the other hand, took a seat in Billys lap, lacing my fingers together behind his neck. He wrapped his left arm around my waist and rested his right arm on the table. He leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss right below my ear. "Nic..I like having you around."
I giggled and kissed him on the cheek, resting my forehead agianst his and staring into his eyes. "I like being around you..Alot."
Paul made some funny gagging noises. "Dude, save it for the hotel!" Everyone laughed.
"Alright guys, we're gonna let the fans in." Some guy who worked here handed each of the boys a sharpie. Joel, being the retarded one of the group, wrote 'I *Heart* J-Money AKA Joel' on Kerri's arm. She smacked him playfully, took his sharpie, drew a very sloppy bunny on his cheek, and handed it back smiling.
The guy opened the door and a never ending line of fans made their way towards the table with posters, cd's cd covers, and cameras. I remember seeing several sporting 'I love Benji' or 'I love Joel' shirts, mostly Benji though. I had to stiffle my laughter when the Joel fanatics saw Kerri wrapped in his arms. One girl specificly broke into tears and Joel just looked at her like she was insane.
"Hi can I get a picture?" A girl about 15 or so held up her camera.
"Sure." Billy pulled me closer to him, which I thought wasn't possiable,and she snapped a picture. "Thanks!" She handed him a 8 by 5 picture of just him and he signed it. She moved on to Paul.
I can't tell you how many times we repeated that process of taking a picture and him signing something. I'm sure Kerri was seeing a little white block from all the camera flashes we'd been submitted to.
After about 3 hours or signing and taking pictures, the last person had walked out the door. The owner of the CD store told the guys they could have any CD's, DVD's, video games, or computer games they wanted for free.
"Yess!!" Benji did a funny little dance and ran through the many isles grabbing anything he thought was midly intresting, hey it was free!
Joel and Kerri took their time, searching through the multiple artists one by one. Paul on the other hand was on the video game isle, grabbing any and all games he thought looked fun.
Billy and I took our time. I picked up a CD and just stared at it. "I've been looking for this for years.."
He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "You can get it if you want. you can get anything, I'll put it on my tab."
We walked through the isles like that, his arms around my waist from behind, and him telling me what to grab from the shelves. 20 minutes later, we all left the store with several bags of CD's, DVD's and anything else they could find in the store.
The trip back to the hotel and the ride up to our floor was quiet. I guess everyone was too tired to talk, or maybe just too excited about all the new toys. Joel and Kerri wasted no time in taking their showers and going to bed. Benji and Paul went back to their room to do god knows what, leaving Billy and I to ourselves.
He pulled me down onto the couch in his lap. "What do you wanna do?"
I curled my legs under me and laid agianst his chest. I ran my fingertips down his left arm, the one I was facing, and stopped to toy with one of his two pyramid bracelets. "Idunno.. Can I ask a favor?"
He rested his chin on the top of my head, running his free hand under my shirt and caressing my back. "Sure, anything you want."
I let go of the bracelet and weaved his fingers with mine. "I don't have any money and I really wanted to go get a tattoo so I'll always remember you..Even if we don't stay together.."
He grinned and started to sing quietly." This is, my tatto, dedicated, to you.." He kissed the top of my head. "Sure thing, we'll go find a parlor tommarrow."
And just like the past two nights we talked for a litte longer about nothing inparticular and went to bed, me wrapped in his arms..Could life get any better?