Living in your Letters
Chapter 4
By: Pretty in Punk
Then things moved very fast. She went to the interview and she got a record deal very quickly, because she was very, very talented. Then they wanted her to go on the road to be the opening of Sarah Mclachlan, seeing she was doing the same kind of music. On Joel's side, his band had to go on tour with MxPx. So the only way they had to keep in contact was writing letters.
March 23rd, 2000
Hey Joely,
How are you doing hun? On my side, everything is going great! Everything i ever dreamed is happening right now! Sarah is a great person. I love what i'm doing right now. That's wonderful. And it's all because of you. Without you, i wouldn't be where i am today. I'll never be able to pay you back what you did to me.
I miss you like crazy. It's only been 2 weeks and i'm looking forward to see you in 2 months and a half since day one. I love you. I want you to have fun, and …. Write me back!
I truly love you
Annie xxx
April 1st, 2000
Hi Annie,
How are you my Honeybee? The MxPx guys are all awesome, and great friends. They keep playing pranks on us, but especially Benji.. once he thought he was drinking apple juice but… oh, i let you guess. We had great fun, and Benji was very pissed off. Hehe. Do you remember when we were younger you always used to play pranks on me? God, even if that was not * that * funny, i still hope i was younger again. I miss you like crazy too, i love you… i want you. Did i mention i loved you? Hehe. Anyway, i'm very proud of you Honeybee, i'm happy for you. by the way, i know a way you could pay me back, hehe.. ;)..um.. that was cheesy.. anyway, i miss you, and i look forward the day i'll see you too. I can't wait! It's so hard to be that far away from you! Now i gotta go, Benji is trying to rip my letter =( He told me to say he misses you too.
Anyway, i love you and always will, write me back Annie.
JoelY.. hehe xxxxxx
20 of April, 2000
Hey Joely! =)
Sorry i know that took a while to write you back, but i was kept really busy this week, our tour manager had some trouble with shows and we had 2 shows per day, so i was totally wasted when night came.
I miss your arms around me, i miss your breathing in my neck, i miss your lips on mine, i miss your scent, oh god how much i miss that! I miss your eyes more than anything else, the way you look at me.. you look at me a way no one has ever did.. when you look at me, there's no one else in the whole world.., i miss your smile… i could go on like that forever.
Sarah was singing a song last night that just reminded me of you. It was called "in the arms of the angel" every word was reminding me of you, and how much i miss you. I can't wait until i see you. I live for the day i'll see receive your next letter, the day i'll see you.
I never told you that, because i wasn't sure if i had enough trust in you to, but now i know. did you know that… the first time we've met, remember when i was 10 under the couch? Well, i feel in love with you. It's weird, don't you think? Love at first sight. There was something about you -there's still something about you- that made me feel complete. That day is the first day i really started to feel alive. You are what makes me feel alive. I couldn't live, without you. I love you, i'll never tell you that enough.
Annie xxx
PS. Tell Benj i miss him a lot too. and don't worry, when I'll see you, I'll pay you back =P
They kept writing letters to each others for the next 2 years and a half. Joel, being is hopeless romantic self, started to write love letters and send them to Annie, and that just reminded her how lovable he was *awww*. They saw each other like one month per year, which was not enough, considering they had grown together, and they were in love with each other . When they were together, they were so happy. They could spend hours looking in each other's eyes. They would go to the beach or to the amusement park and they would take a million pictures. When they were apart, she would stare at pictures of Joel and her during hours, lay in her bed and sigh silently his name. She would read, re-read his letters, breath, hug them. Joel loved her so much. Being apart of Annie was killing him. So, he kept himself busy all the time not to think about her, but that only half-worked. He used to do interview, practice with his band, do shows, hang out with the other bands, and when he had nothing to do, go to movies, shows and parties. He didn't want to drink tough, because he didn't want to turn out like his father. More and more, he kept thinking about her and his old ways to get her out of his head didn't work as well as before.. She was all his heart has learned to love.
Forward. Three weeks before TODAY.
Since some time, Joel was so miserable about Annie, that he fell in depression. Benji and the other guys tried to cheer him up but nothing could really help, Seeing he was not supposed to see her for 3 months. The only thing that really made him forget temporary about her was parties, going to movies, by himself. He was spending more and more time alone and that scared his brother a lot, seeing he always had cared about him, and he knew why he was like that. That night, in the hotel room they were at for the night, Joel was watching MTV who was passing the new video, Alien shower, of Annie's band, Schizoid when Benji came in the room.
"Hey dude, what are you doing tonight?" Benji asked while he was gelling his hair in the bathroom.
"Watching TV." Joel responded absently, with a picture of him and Annie in hands.
Benji entered the room and took the picture of the hands of his brother. Joel frowned and tryed to take the picture back.
"Look Joel, we need to talk. I know how much you miss Annie, i know how much you love her, but you are driving yourself sick about that! You are actually going to see her in what.. ? Two months?"
"Three months, Benj."
"Whatever. Don't you think she's worth the wait? you'll see her, for sure, in 3 months. You are a very lucky man, you know, Joel. I think you found your "special someone" for the rest of your life at a very young age, and look at me, i've been single since forever if you don't count some girls i went out with for one month. You're a guy to envy, a very, very lucky guy...." Benji sighed, and during one second you could see something in his eyes, something that could've told the whole world: 'I need love'. But it was just a glimpse, just a second, and then it dissapeared, leaving Benji be his usual immature self again, as if he had realized the image he was trying to give himself had let shown the really true of himself, the scared little kid that needed to be held at night, the unsecure little one, that needed comfort. (you didn't think i was gonna make him heartless, did you?) He then made a stupid face to cover his error "So stop being lazy and get prepared! Tonight the guys from Sugarcult and Mest are going to have a party at some of their friends of the area's house, and it will be really fun! Entertainment for you, and a lot of chicks for me! How could it be any better?" Benji said.
'Annie would be there, that would be better' Joel thought, and Benji read his thoughts.
"Come on bro, you know she only wants you to be happy, so make a man of yourself and come with me at the party!" Benji said, jumping around and being crazy, as usual.
Joel sighed. "Okay Benji, but i only do this for you" Benji smiled. "Now get your lazy ass off the sofa, and go get prepared!" He laughed.
Half an hour later, they were heading to the party.
Benji and Joel entered the house, and a big cloud of smoke of weed immediately came up to their noses. Benji smiled widely at this sign, while Joel didn't react. Joel never did drugs, but Benji did. Benji was happy. Joel wasn't. 'maybe that could make Annie get off my mind a little. Maybe i could be happy awhile too' He thought. He followed his brother to where Tony and Jeremiah from Mest, were smoking.
"Hey Benji, Joel, What's up dudes? Wanna smoke?" Jeremiah asked.
Benji grinned. "That's fine with me, not with Joel though, he never smokes."
"That's okay, we respect that." Tony said.
"Actually dude, I would like to try some, if yah all don't mind" Joel said, sitting next to the 3 other guys. Benji looked at his brother half shocked.
"What's that all about, Joel? I thought you didn't want to do drugs because it was bad for your braincells or something?" Benji asked.
"Well, I want to try some, and it's only for tonight."
"It's okay, bro" Benji said, puffing from the weed and handing it to his brother.
After smoking, Joel was really out of the reality. Without really thinking, he started to drink beer, shooters, everything he could find. Benji already passed out so he couldn't watch for his brother. Joel finally sat on a couch and he was about to pass out when a girl sat next to him. She had blue eyes and blond hair, and she was definitely a slut.
"Hey, hello Joel." Joel looked up. Something, no… someone was talking to him. He didn't see well, because his vision was blurred.
"Hi, who are you and how do you know my name?"
"My name is Annie. I'm a fan of Good charlotte and …blah blah blah….. well i think you are really sexy and …….. blah blah blah…."
She was talking but he was not listening. All he had understood was her name. Joel's brain was so sore that he started to imagine it was HIS Annie in front of him, instead of a slutty groupie. What happened next was a total blur to Joel.
---
Joel woke up in someone's arm. Happy, he opened his eyes, expecting to wake up in HIS Annie's arms. What he saw made his heart stop. He was in the arms of some blonde girl that looked totally slutty. She was naked. Discusted by what he saw, Joel pulled away just to see that… he was naked too. He stood up quickly, and tears of incomprehension ran down his cheeks.
'What did I do last night? Where am i? Who is she? What did i do? God i hope i didn't…' But it was too late. He had cheated on his Annie.
One week after this event, Annie sent him one last letter.
Hey Joely Boely Doely! =)
Remember in my last letter i told you i would have a little surprise for you? Well… i talked with my manager last week and i talked to your manager and he accepted me and my band to come on tour with you for one month!!!!!! =D isn't that wonderful? I'm so happy, i'm jumping everywhere, literally!!! I miss you like crazy I love you and i can't wait. Don't forget that, i'll always love you and always be there for you.
Love (again! Lol)
Annie xxxxxxxxxx…x….xxx…..xxxx =P
never enough kisses for you! Laterz xx..xx….xxx. okay, now i gotta stop! =)
PS. Meet me Monday at the Hotel La plaza, room 1523, on the 14e floor, at 2 in the morning (to watch the stars =)) ) i, and will always, Love you.