Not Him...Please
Chapter 4
By: Punk Lover
*7 years later*
“It’s good to be home.” Candy walked into the kitchen and set down her equipment. Mili, came and jumped all around her even though she was getting really old. “Hey girl.” Candy got a little snack ready for herself.
**Knock knock**
Tamara came in the door. “Hey, I got to go to a doctors appointment so I can’t talk. Bye.” Tamara pushed the little boy into the apartment and shut the door fast.
“Thanks.” Candy yelled before she couldn’t hear.
“Hi Mommy.” The little boy put his backpack on the table and helped himself to Candy’s bagel.
“Hey sweety. How was school today?”
“It was ok I guess. I don’t like it though.” Candy laughed and remembered that she had always hated school herself.
“I know, I know. You’ll get through it someday, don’t worry.” They ate their bagel while talking about random things, but then her son brought up something she never really liked talking about.
“Mommy? Why doesn’t Daddy live with us?” Candy looked up from her bagel.
“Because Daddy and Mommy decided not to live together. We like the way things are now.”
“Oh. Well how come he doesn’t want to see me?”
“Honey…he does want to, but he’s just really caught up in his work. That’s all.”
“Ya right…I’m going to practice my guitar.” Her son walked into his room and closed the door lightly. Candy sighed and went into the bathroom for a shower.
**Knock knock**
“I’LL GET IT!” Marshall yelled as he ran to get the door. Candy just laughed knowing she would never out run him. Marshall opened the door and his eyes went wide.
“DADDY! Mom, Daddy’s here” Candy stood up and walked to the door. Marshall gave Cody a hug and then skipped back into his room. Candy leaned against the door frame.
“Hi. How are you?” Candy asked in a slit whisper.
“I’m alright. Living I guess,” he laughed a little at his comment. “Anyways I just came by to give you your 50$ of child support.” Candy reached out and toke the money, gently hitting her hand against Cody’s. She wanted him badly but new that she would never get him.
“Thanks.” was all Candy could say.
“Well, I actually should be going. Have plans to hang out with some of the boys. See ya.”
“Why don’t you hang out with your own boy? You guys could have fun too if you tried to see him more often.” Candy’s tone was getting angry and she remembered why she didn’t have Cody with her anymore.
“I’m not talking about this now ok. I’ll see you later.” With that Cody left leaving Candy pissed off and alone…again.
The phone started ringing and Candy closed the door and walked over to pick it up. “Hello?”
“Hey hun! It’s Christine. Haven’t talked to you in a couple of weeks so I thought I should.”
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Not to much. How’s the kid and the Ex?”
“Marshall’s good. Just playing guitar in his room. He learned really fast and he sings sometimes to. He has a nice voice to say the least.”
“Uh huh.”
“And Cody…well he’s good just dropped by to pay child support and went out with his friends.”
“Does he ever spend time with Marshall?”
“…Ummm ya sometimes. He is a good father.” When Candy said this he tone sounded a little more sarcastic then anything but she hoped that Christine didn’t notice.
“Well that’s good at least.”
Christine and Candy talked a little longer about anything and everything. Once they couldn’t find anything to talk about they said their goodbyes and hung up. Candy went to check on Marshall in his room. Marshall was cleaning his guitar but turned around as soon as his mom came in.
“Hey Mommy. What you doing?” Candy sat next to him on his bed.
“Nothing really. Just checking on you.” Marshall nodded and went back to cleaning his guitar.
**Knock knock**
“I’LL GET IT!” Candy was laughing a bit again at his reaction. Candy sat there knowing the door was probably for her anyways but waited for Marshall to call her or just so she can listen to hear who it was.
“Hey creep! What have you been up to these past few months?” Candy recognized that voice and walked into the kitchen to see Joel sitting at the table listening to all the stories Marshall was telling him.
“…And then Daddy just came here today too and he gave Mommy some more money because he still owes her.”
“Awesome. Speaking of Mommy…there she blows.” Marshall laughed and hugged Joel. He started towards his bedroom. “Where you going?”
“I’m going to get my guitar and I’m going to show you a song I learned.” He ran away and Joel and Candy heard him rummaging through his things looking for something. While he was gone Joel got up and walked over to Candy giving her a tight hug.
“How are you?” His voice was soft and gentle which made Candy really happy he was still there for her even after all they’d been through.
“Living…you?”
“Same old, same old. We miss you when you’re not touring with us.” Candy smiled.
“I know. I miss the good old days too.”
“How’s Cody. Obviously still doing his duty by paying child support, but is he here for Marshall?” Candy needed to lie again because she couldn’t let Joel worry about her. She didn’t want sympathy or pity.
“He’s still a good father. Don’t worry.”
Marshall came back out and he played his little tune for Joel and Candy. Joel stayed there late into the night. They were all on the couch, Joel and Candy talking while watching TV and Marshall was already asleep.
Joel got up and picked up Marshall and walked into his room. Candy followed and watched as Joel put Marshall underneath the covers and pulled the sheets to his chin. Candy was about to cry when she saw Joel do things that she has never seen Marshall’s own father do. She was just about to when Joel bent down and kissed Marshall on the forehead. Cody has never kissed Marshall…not once. Joel looked up and directly at Candy who was trying to hold back her tears.
“You look tired. You should get some rest.” Candy nodded and she walked into her bedroom and got under the sheets and got herself all comfy. Joel sat down beside her and moved some hair from her face. He smiled a calming smile.
“I’ll lock the door when I leave so don’t worry. Benji said he wants to come over tomorrow. I don’t know what time but he said he’ll call.” Candy nodded.
Joel bent down and gave her a kiss on the forehead too. Joel turned out the light and closed the door. As soon as Candy heard the front door close and lock she started crying faintly in her pillow. She remembered when Cody used to kiss her on the forehead every time he left for work. It toke Candy a while to fall asleep. She thought of the kind of father Cody was and thought about all the lies she could so he didn’t seem like a bad father to other people. Candy fell asleep with those thoughts flooding her mind…just like every other night.
There are just too many Times that people
Have tried to look inside of me
Wondering what I think of you
And I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I’ve Held on when I needed to push away
Afraid to say what was on my mind
Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many Things that you have said about me
When I’m not around
You think that having the upper hand
Means you’ve got to keep putting me down
But I’ve had too many stand-offs with you
It’s about as much as I can stand
Just wait until the upper hand Is mine
One minute you’re on top The next you’re not
Watch it drop Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not Missed your shot Making your heart stop
You think you won And then it’s all gone So many people like me
Put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think
To just say what we feel inside So many people like me
Walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want
Is to feel like I’m not stepped on There are so many things you say
That make me feel that you’ve crossed the line
What goes up will surely fall And I’m counting down the time
‘Cause I’ve had so many stand-offs with you
It’s about as much as I can stand
So I’m waiting until the upper hand Is mine
I know I’ll never trust a single thing you say
You knew your lies would divide us But you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating Up above us all
But what goes up has got to fall
(Linkin Park “Hit The Floor”)