Between You And Me
Chapter 3
By: Sarah
I glanced at Benji and then at Joel. They were both sleeping. Benji was hunched over, using the little pull down table as a pillow. Joel was leaning against Maygen, his mouth wide open. I smiled to myself and reached over and poked Benji gently. He groaned, but didn’t wake up. I poked him again and this time, one eye slowly opened.
“ Why’d you do that?” He groaned, his voice scratchy. I leaned down so I was level with his face.
“ You promised me you’d hold my hand the whole way there.” I whined. Benji sat up slightly, resting his head on his arms.
“ Nic…how old are you?” He asked. I reached forward and brushed my hands through his hair even though he resisted, shaking my hands away.
“ Don’t be a grump.” I said, putting my hand on his neck. I slowly started massaging his neck and he made a little mewing noise that I couldn’t help but laugh at. Benji yawned and closed his eyes again. I frowned, mad that he was going back to sleep. Just before I was about to smack him on his cute head, he uncurled his arms and held one out to me. I smiled, happily, and intertwined my fingers with his. He pretended to be asleep for a few more minutes before opening his eyes and sitting back up.
“ Now I’m awake.” He said, leaning against the chair. We were on a plain to Hawaii. It was my first time flying anywhere and I was pretty nervous. He’d slept most of the way.
“ Good.” I said, pulling his hand up to my lips and kissing his knuckles. He smiled, despite the fact that I was the reason he couldn’t sleep. “ You know you love me.” I said, leaning over and whispering it in his ear. He laughed, shaking his head. We both settled back, with me resting my head on his broad shoulder. There was some stupid movie playing, but neither of us was really watching.
“ I’m really happy.” Benji said after a few minutes. I was quiet for a second, surprised. I titled my head, looking at him.
“ Really?” I asked. He nodded, looking down at me with his gorgeous brown eyes.
“ Yea. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.” He said. I bit my lip, not sure how to react to those words. They hit me hard, and I felt my eyes start to get all watery. Benji smiled leaning down and kissing me on the cheek. “ Don’t get all mushy on me, Suga.” He teased. I laughed and punched him gently in the stomach. He reached over and wiped softly at my tear. “ You used to be such a tough girl.” He said softly. I nodded.
“ No…you just never knew this side of me.” I replied. He frowned for a second, but then he gave me a little smile before leaning down and kissing me. I had to admit, this was the happiest I’d been in a long time. I couldn’t say it was the happiest I’d ever been though. The happiest I’d ever been was before I knew about Shannon. Before… a lot of things.
“ Hey Nic.” I pulled away gently from Benji and looked over his shoulder at Maygen.
“ Hmm?” I asked. She smiled.
“ Sorry to interrupt…but…are Jordan and Farah coming?” She asked. When I had told Jordan about going to Hawaii she’d been ecstatic. Farah, of course, had thought it was a ridiculous idea…but when Jordan said that she was thinking about coming down for a week or so, Farah had jumped at the opportunity.
“ Yea, unfortunately.” I said with a sigh. Maygen frowned, sitting forward. Joel, who was still asleep, slid off her shoulder and down behind her back. She laughed as he woke up, a bit disorientated.
“ Was I drooling?” He asked, wiping at his mouth. Maygen only laughed harder and slapped him playfully. Benji was sitting next to me, laughing just as hard as Maygen was. I smiled and Joel looked at me, a slightly horrified look on his face. I nodded.
“ You’re fine, Joel.” I said, not being able to let him suffer any longer. He sighed and leaned back, pushing Maygen into the side of the plane.
“ Why aren’t you happy they are coming?” Maygen asked, pushing Joel back. He fell halfway into the aisle, nearly tripping a stewardess. He turned pink and apologized a few times before sliding back into his seat and pelting Maygen with a mixture of pinches and kisses.
“ Because Farah is a bitch.” Joel said, after he finished attacking Maygen. Benji laughed in agreement. I had told Joel about all the things that Farah had said, including her comment about how she asked me if I was afraid that Benji would cheat on me with her. I hadn’t told Benji about that one.
“ What?” Maygen asked.
“ I love Jordan…it’s Farah I’m having the problem with lately. And it’s only recently, too. She just…she keeps making these really rude comments and…I don’t know.” I sighed. Benji took my hand and started rubbing his thumb into my palm. I took a deep breath, hardly being able to hold myself back from kissing him.
“ How long are they staying?” Joel asked. I shrugged.
“ They’re coming down on Saturday and staying until we leave, I think.” I said. Maygen frowned and nodded.
“ So they are going to be there the whole time, pretty much?” She asked. I nodded.
“ Just stay clear of Farah, Nic.” Benji said, squeezing my hand.
“ I know…I will. I’m going to ask Jordan if she knows why she’s been acting so strange lately. It’s just…so weird.”
“ Don’t worry about it, Nic. She’s probably just jealous.” Maygen shrugged. I nodded. If she was jealous, it made me scared to think of what. Of Benji? I sighed and glanced over at him. He smiled and kissed me on the nose, then wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
“ We will be arriving in Hawaii in ten minutes.” A voice over the intercom said. I felt a smile spread over my lips.
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“ Nic?” I opened my eyes slowly as I felt Benji gently roll his fingers down my bare back. I looked up at him, resting my chin on his chest. “Good, you’re awake.” He said with a half sleepy smile.
“ Well…I am now.” I teased. He smiled and kept running his fingers up and down my spine.
“ How do you like it here?” He asked. I looked around the room. We had left the huge, French style doors that led to a balcony open so the cool summer breeze could float through our room. I could hear the ocean just outside, crashing onto the white sand. It was a full moon and I could see it clearly from my spot on the bed, reflecting over the dark water. The air smelled soft and sweet and slightly salty.
“ I love it, Benj.” I smiled and pressed my face against his chest. It was definitely one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. The house was huge and airy, with lots of open space and high ceilings. We were right on the beach so we had a great view of the water and all the surrounding plants and flowers. It was…like a paradise.
“ Good, I’m glad.” He said. He suddenly sat up, and I practically rolled off him.
“ Benji! Give me a little warning next time, eh?” I laughed, pulling the sheets up around me. He stretched his arms out and smiled.
“ Let’s go for a walk.” He suggested, climbing out of bed. He grabbed his boxers and slipped them on. I groaned and buried my face in his pillow. The spot where he had been laying was still warm.
“ No…it’s like…three a.m.” I moaned.
“ Yes! Come on, Nic. It’s so awesome out.” He begged, grabbing my arm. I yanked it away, secretly smiling into the pillow.
“ Benji…I want to sleep. You wore me out.” I whined, curling up into a ball. Benji laughed.
“ Well you didn’t want to join the mile high club while we were on the plane, so I just had to wait till we got here.” He said in a teasing voice. I laughed, looking up from the pillow. He was smiling broadly and I groaned. He leaned forward, his face inches from mine. “Come on, Nic. Make me happy.” He sighed. I grabbed him roughly by the neck, pulling him down onto me. I kissed him hard and then shoved him off of me.
“ I’m sleeping.” I said and then closed my eyes. He was quiet for a second and I wondered what he was doing. I swallowed and waited for him to start whining or begging some more but he didn’t. After a minute of silence, curiosity got the best of me. I opened my eyes a little and saw he was standing in the same place as before, just staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. I felt my lips curl into a smile, but he still stood there, his silhouette black and pale white from the moonlight. “Benj.” I sighed, opening my eyes completely. He didn’t move for a second but then out of nowhere, he lunged at me. I yelped, laughing as he yanked the covers off me in one easy sweep. I shrieked and grabbed the closest thing to me and hurled it at him. The pillow hit him square in the head and I couldn’t help but laugh. He chucked it back at me and then jumped onto the bed, making a wild grab for my arms. I fought back, but I wasn’t much of a match for him at all. He managed to pin me down, grabbing me by the wrists, in a few seconds.
“ Now you have to do what I say.” He said with a smile. I tried to move my arms, but he didn’t budge.
“ What do you want me to do?” I asked, looking up at him, slightly out of breath. His body was warm and heavy against mine. Our legs were entangled together and I knew if we even tried to stand up, we’d fall back down.
“ Well…normally…I’d make you do evil things that good little Nic’s would never even think about…But right now, I just want you to take a walk with me.” He said. I laughed and tried to move my neck so I could reach his lips. He pulled away with a devious look on his face.
“ Nope, no kisses. Not until you tell me you’ll walk with me.” He said. I groaned and pulled my legs out from under him, knowing exactly what to do to regain power. I wrapped them around him and moved my hips just right until Benji gave me this incredible look. “ You are so evil.” He said with a groan. I laughed and wrapped my legs around him tighter, pressing hard against him. He laughed and let his head fall to my shoulder for a second, and I felt him slowly let go of my hands. I took this opportunity and I grabbed his arms, pushed him off me and rolled on top of him. He looked at me, surprised for a second.
“ Now you have to do what I say.” I said with a smirk. He laughed and looked up at me with laughing eyes. We both knew he could easily throw me off.
“ What do you want me to do?” He asked, mimicking me. I thought for a second and then smiled.
“ Kiss me and tell me you love me.” I said after a second. He smiled as I pulled him up. He wrapped his arms around me, as I straddled his lap. I hugged him tightly to me, enjoying the sensation of his bare chest against mine. We sat like that for a few minutes, with my head resting on his shoulder and my legs wrapped around his waist. He kissed my neck and shoulders and then my ear.
“ I love you.” He whispered, sending a chill up my back. I smiled and lifted my head.
“ I love you.” I said and then leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me softly, our lips hardly touching. I slowly ran my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, cherishing the feeling of being so close to him.
“ Ok, now lets go walk.” He said, stretching his legs out. I laughed, knowing I couldn’t win.
“ Let me get dressed.” I groaned, slipping off his lap. He beamed and jumped off the bed, grabbing a t-shirt.
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We slipped outside, Benji’s hand grasping mine. He was humming some random song under his breath and I found it oddly comforting. Just the sound of his voice made me smile. The sand was soft and cool under my feet and I buried my toes in it as we walked. Benji kept humming, walking along as if his mind were elsewhere. There was a nice breeze out that rustled through the trees and over my skin.
“ So this place is cool, right?” Benji asked. I laughed softly.
“ Benj, that’s like the twentieth time you’ve asked me.” I said, moving closer to him. He nodded and smiled, his eyes staying focused on the ground. I wondered if something was bothering him
“ OK, I’m just makin’ sure.” He said, squeezing my hand gently. I squeezed back and then stopped. I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“ You ok?” I asked, breathing in the mixture of Benji’s soap and the cool air around us. He hugged me tightly, and it almost scared me for a second. He was almost clinging to me. I frowned, reaching up and cradling his face in my hands. “ What’s wrong, Ben?” I asked, searching for his eyes. He gave me a little, weak smile and shrugged.
“ I don’t want to lose you. Ever.” He whispered, his voice small. I smiled, pulling him close to me.
“ You’re not going to lose me.” I reassured him. He buried his face into my shoulder and I heard him take a few deep breaths.
“ I’ve been such an asshole.” He said, his voice muffled by my shoulder. I bit my lip and leaned down to kiss the side of his head. He let go of me and took my hands. “ I don’t know why I even asked you if we could go to Shannon’s wedding. It was a really shitty thing for me to ask.” He said. I wasn’t sure what to say for a minute. If I said ‘No, it’s ok, it’s ok with me.’ then I’d be lying. But if I said ‘Yea that was a shitty thing to do.’ I’d still be lying. It wasn’t totally his fault that he wanted to see her, was it? It was just a wedding, right? And I’m a big girl. I can deal with seeing the girl he cheated on me with…right? I was over that, wasn’t I?
“ If it’s important to you, then we should go.” I said finally. He looked at me, surprised for a second. He leaned down and kissed my hand. I was speechless for a second, but I managed to smile.
“ You know you are the only one I ever want to be with.” He said. My heart skipped a beat. “ I’ve done really shitty things to you, Nic. And you’ve always been there for me. You’ve always backed me up and taken me back even after you saw me at my complete worst. There’s not many people that would do that. You don’t know how much you mean to me.” He said, his voice strong. I felt my eyes start to water and I looked away for a second. I could remember only a year or two ago, only wishing and dreaming he’d ever say something like this to me. I remember when I was even afraid to tell him I missed him.
“ Benji…you know I love you.” I said softly. Suddenly, he got down in the sand, on his knees, kneeling in front of me. He took my hands and squeezed them hard. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. My heart started pounding in my chest. What was he doing? There was only one thing I could think of when the man you love gets down on their knees in front of you. I frowned for a second, not sure what to say or do.
“ Nic…” He said slowly. I studied his eyes, those soft brown eyes that I had stared into for so long, memorizing every fleck of gold and every emotion. Those eyes that I had made love to every night and missed so much while he was gone. “ I love you so much.” He said. I felt tears slip down my face.
“ I love you.” I managed to squeak out.
“ I wanted to ask you something.” He said. I nodded. The waves were crashing around us, the moon shining with a pale silver shadow over his dark hair. I was going to remember this night forever. I watched him, my mind racing. I wanted to trust him. I knew I could, right? I could just forget everything that had happened in the past and give my heart to him completely. Benji. The only man I ever wanted to touch, to see, to be with. But something in my heart was still hurting, was still telling me that he had complete and utter control over me and he could break me without even looking back. I suddenly felt absolutely, positively scared out of my mind.
“ Ok…” I whispered. He opened his mouth and then he hesitated. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. I licked my lips, my heart beating erratically.
“ Will you…” He said softly. He looked back up at me with eyes that I couldn’t read. “Could you ever forgive me?” He asked finally. I blinked.
“ What?” I said. He hesitated for another second and then kissed my hands and stood back up.
“ Nic, can you ever forgive me?” He said. My heart started thumping in my chest. What had just happened? Had I been dreaming? Was he just about to propose to me and then…he changed his mind or something? I felt my heart crash to the floor and mix with all the gritty, harsh sand beneath my feet.
“ Forgive you…” I stuttered. He leaned closer and kissed my cheek, wiping away my tear. I tried hard to recover from the shock of what didn’t just happen. “ Benji…” I said softly. He looked away for a minute, staring into the dark, vast ocean.
“ Can you?” He asked, his voice sounded far away. I nodded.
“ Yes. I’ll forgive you.” I whispered. He smiled softly and hugged me for a second. Then we turned back around and walked back to the house. I think I may have left my heart back there in the sand.