Writers: Jeph Loeb and Greg RuckaPlot: Who is the next president of the United States?
You are watching special live coverage of the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election on GNN. And now, from our studio in downtown Gotham, here is Loren Di Iorio.
Loren: Good evening, and welcome to the eve of a new era in the history of America. As the polls come to a close, and the votes are counted, the citizens of this nation collectively hold their breaths. Will candidate Alexander Joseph Luthor, with strong support throughout the eastern seaboard, become the next president of the United States? Stay with GNN Headline News tonight, for live updates of election results as they come in. I understand we have field reporter Summer Gleeson standing by in the Cauldron, one of the more dangerous areas of Gotham, with some local voter response. Summer, what can you tell us?
Summer: Well, Loren, the turnout in Gotham is remarkable to say the least! I think Luthor's financial aid here at the end of No Man's Land last year dramatically increased his chances of getting several more electoral votes than he might've normally had.
Loren: But what about all the anti-Luthor sentiment that's been in town?
Summer: You're right - in a large part, that's indirectly from WayneCorp and its owner, billionaire Bruce Wayne. He's been an --
Loren: Excuse me, you said "indirectly"?
Summer: I'm afraid I can't be anymore accurate than that at this time, Loren.
Loren: Alright, thank you, Summer. Voting results continue to come in, and it looks like Luthor is dramatically ahead so far. Our GNN strategists should be able to make a prediction very soon. But before we get to that, we'll turn it over to our Metropolis correspondent, Vesper Fairchild. How are things in the City of Tomorrow, Vesper?
Vesper: Oh, Loren, the streets have come alive with supporters of Mr. Luthor! But amid all the cheers of anticipation, I've heard unconfirmed reports that there was a security breach at the top of LexCorp Tower. I don't know how or who, but the rumour is that someone made it into Luthor's office, with some kind of idle threat.
Loren: I understand we may have some more news on that front, so hold on a moment, Vesper. Let's go back down to the Cauldron, where Summer Gleeson continues to standby.
Summer: Thank you, Loren. Yes, the rumours of an intruder in LexCorp Tower have already reached Gotham City, and I spoke with a couple of local residents about this curiosity. Sir...you say you know something about the intruder...?
G. Rucka: Yeah, it was... It was Batman! Batman broke in there and told Luthor off real good. And I know why! He couldn't forget what Luthor really did back in No Man's Land, so he wanted to make sure the slaggo didn't get into power. I heard that Batman woulda left if Luthor gave him some kinda green jewelry, but just like before, it was a staredown match between those guys, and nothing got resolved. Just a bunch of threats! But Luthor sure seemed scared, from what I heard.
Summer: Thank you, Mr. Rucka. Back to you, Loren.
Loren: Alright, I understand that at this very moment, another network is airing a biographical look at presidential candidate Lex Luthor. We managed to get an advanced copy of this tape, and our political correspondent, Jeph Loeb has analyzed this for us. Jeph?
Jeph: What can I say, Loren? This document is just unbelievable! I mean, it makes Luthor look like the saviour of humanity. He saved the world during the Final Night?!? Come on. I'm sure he's been a big help to Metropolis, especially with that whole Brainiac 13 fiasco back on New Year's, but it doesn't change the fact that Luthor is a ruthless businessman who'd stop at nothing short of killing Superman to get into the Oval Office.
Loren: Killing Superman? Isn't that a little harsh, Jeph?
Jeph: Hey, I'm calling it like I see it. The guy's so full of himself, that they're thinking of adding his face to Rushmore. That's just preposterous. The very notion that --
Loren: Excuse me, Jeph, but I have to cut you off. I've just been informed that based on our projections here at GNN, we are announcing that the next president of the United States will be...Lex Luthor! Lex Luthor, the most prominent entrepreneur in America will now become the most powerful man in the modern world. Let's go directly now to our Watchtower correspondent, Ed McGuinness. Ed, what's the immediate reaction from the JLA?
Ed: I'm having no trouble determining Superman's state of mind right now, because the pictures I'm getting here from deep space make him look like the most angry man in the universe. Y'know those new moons around Saturn that an astronomy team found last week? Well, Superman's playing pool with them. I'll bet he's wishing they were Luthor's head.
Loren: I take it he's unhappy with the announcement.
Ed: No duh, Loren.
Loren: Alright then, thank you very much. Ed McGuinness, from the Watchtower. Now, to the Cauldron and Summer Gleeson... Oh, I'm sorry, it seems we've lost Summer. We were hoping to get an interview with noted Republican "Ballistic", but apparently, he's no longer in the area. She'll also speak with Kevin Smith, Margot Kidder, Richard Donner, and...Jay and Silent Bob? We'll take a short break now, but stay tuned to GNN Headline News for continuing coverage of the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election.
