Writer: Alan GrantPlot: After being abducted by aliens, Batman locates a drug-induced alien expert, who plans to expose the offworlders' evil plot to create a major world war.
Were you expecting Batman versus those pasty, little grey guys? Sorry, that's not what's in here. Dark Horse has the two-issue Batman/Aliens crossover which has got to be better than The Abduction.
I didn't want to believe what everyone said about this book. There wasn't one comment I've read about it that gave the story any element of praise. I thought, "It's a comic book! There's writing and there's art. Surely, you'll be able to find something enjoyable!"
Well, the art from Norm Breyfogle is about the only great thing about it, but if you're thinking of spending less than nine dollars on this sucker, pick up the monthly title you might've just dropped, 'cause you'll enjoy that more.
Grant goes to great lengths to convince the reader that Batman really was abducted by aliens. Rarely does Batman so clearly denounce the possibility of there being any other explanation for something, like he did here.
Since I just can't state that any book isn't worth the paper it's printed on, I was pleased that Grant attempted to teach the reader a bit of history about UFO sightings, however much of it is true. The scene with Batman hanging upside-down in an air vent is also worth mentioning, but it's not exactly a pressing reason to run to the shop.
The doctor that Bruce seeks information from just happens to be this drugged-up wacko called the Kook. He's almost like Dr. Freak, the Garth Ennis creation from the Legends Of The Dark Knight arc Freakout, which wasn't exactly anything to write to ma and pa about, either.
What can he do? Astral-traveling! With just the touch of a hand, he takes a disguised Bruce Wayne on an out-of-body journey up to a real-live UFO, where aliens perform nasty experiments on us poor human folk. Sound strange for a Bat-book yet? Well, not only are those two in spirit form, but for some off-the-wall reason, a nefarious reptoid is able to see them onboard, and fire a laser cannon at their effigies!
At this point, I'm thinking, "Close the book, Loren," but with that scary reptoid fellow coming onto the scene, I thought Batman might wanna go kick his scaly butt. Nope, he never appears again, and perhaps I should be thankful.
Not long after, the men in black come upon Batman, give him a warning, then Bruce Lee arrives. I'm not kidding. Bruce Lee. He's there. Just because. And if you want even more action, Grant blesses us with a self-replicating Bruce Lee, so we get four Lees at one time!
Omniscient reptoids, the Lee quartet...will it ever stop? No, because we get Blockbuster, too! Sure, it's just an hallucination, and it doesn't even look like the present-day Blockbuster, but he's there, and he's fighting Batman, and he's not an alien!
Perhaps one of the strangest parts of the book (no, those others don't even cut it) comes near the end, where a UFO replica is suspended above thousands of Gothamites by a crane, in front of a convention centre. Batman must stop the Kook from his fake UFO, and according to the caption, Batman "knows what he must do". That means, of course, that Batman has to slam the crane's release mechanism, allowing the UFO to come hurtling down toward thousands of innocent onlookers, who, even though they're in a tightly-packed crowd against the docks, are somehow able to outrun a massive person-flattening pancake. Naughty, naughty, Batman.
And what happened to the little grey men? Oh, Grant left that open for a sequel, Batman: Dreamland. Don't run too fast, now.
