Luigi baked the biggest cake I've ever seen - about eleven layers. Surprisingly enough, neither of the lovebirds had the jitters.

I was chosen to be Loren's best man, and I was kinda scared. They say that the best man has to make a speech about the couple. I think I'll tell the story about when Loren and Robin were piss drunk singing "Kumbaya" butt naked on the roof.

No, I was sworn to secrecy not to tell anyone about it. I guess I'll just comment on the time when they first met. That oughta do it. No problem.

A few hours before the wedding, Loren said he needed to talk to me. He felt that something was wrong. He told me he'd felt these things before.

Suddenly, Cindy came running towards us with tears in her eyes, and looking a little hurt.

Cindy: Oh, Loren, I'm so sorry. I was talking to Robin about the wedding before she had her dress on, and then I heard glass breaking. A couple of bangers jumped from the tree through the window. I tried to help Robin fight them off, but they took off through the window with her. They were heading down Turner Street on foot.

They couldn't have gotten too far. Before Cindy was finished explaining, Loren already headed for the car. I told Melissa to take care of Cindy.

Then, I headed for the convertible. Loren was so full of rage that he almost didn't notice me jumping into the back seat. He sped furiously out of the driveway towards the kidnappers.

I hopped up front and got my gun ready. I knew that the one person Loren truly loved and cared about was Robin.

There was no way he'd let them run. The bastards didn't make it too far anyway. I took aim.

Loren: Not this time, man. These fuckers are mine.

Then he did something totally unexpected. He hopped into the back to grab a gun, and left me to jump into the driver's seat, while the convertible almost crashed into a Lotus Esprit. Then he jumped out of the car and landed, standing (to my amazement) perfectly on the ground.

He could hear Robin's muffled screams through their fingers. They threw her onto the ground and pulled out a couple of semi-auto handguns from their jackets.

Loren: Don't even try it, assholes! Put the guns down..now!

Loren got all hyper, but was still steady with the trigger. The guy on the left put his gun down first. Then he took off. I drove over and jumped out of the car to stop him.

Then there was the second guy. He put the gun down slowly onto the ground. Loren eased up a little. In a split second, the guy picked up his gun, and fired. I got off a couple of rounds into his chest and head, and he clopped onto the ground like a fallen hunting bird.

I looked over to Loren and saw him lying on the ground, screaming out in pain. The bullet grazed his left arm and he was bleeding fast. I told Robin to rip off a piece of her shirt and wrap it around Loren's wound to stop the bleeding.

I reached for the cell phone in the car and called for an ambulance. They'd be here in a couple of minutes. All I could do was make sure the first guy didn't get away. So I pinned him to the ground and knocked the air out of his lungs. He'd be down for a while. Then I ran over to Loren.

Michael: Eh, man, you hold in there, okay? We want you in top condition for the wedding.

Loren: Yeah...man, no problem. It only grazed me. Did you nail that fucker?

Michael: Yeah, I fired a couple of rounds and he's out cold.

Loren: Thanks, bro. Can I get up now?

The ambulance could be heard not far off. He was rushed to St. Mary's Hospital where he got all bandaged up. Looks just like new if you put the tux over the stuff. He was out of there an hour later.

When we got home, the boys were sad because they didn't get a piece of the action. In about half an hour, the ceremony began at the church.

I must admit that I've never seen Robin any prettier, considering she was ready within thirty minutes. Then I wondered how Danielle would look in that dress. The thought left my mind - she didn't need a dress to look pretty. I just sat and stared at her, ignoring whatever the priest had to say.

The ceremony was almost over. Loren took Robin into his arms and frenched her for quite a while. After all the cheering stopped, everyone started to leave the church, heading to the house for the reception.

We partied all night, and of course there were fireworks because of the Fourth Of July and all. The newlyweds then left for Bermuda the next day.

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