My License Plate Says "IEATZ28"

Late '70s Cars Horseless carriages of the late 1970s were underpowered, heavy and slow. Who gives a shit? What mattered was that they looked tough and had character. You can always build an engine.
		No late '70s car was more coveted than the Trans Am. They featured screaming chickens everywhere, shag carpeting, 2.41 rear-end gears, power windows that went up fast enough to sever even the quickest toddler's arm, and optional CB radios. The hood birds just got bigger and bigger as time went on, culminating with the '79 10th Anniversary all-silver model, where the bird's wings traveled all the way to the side mirrors. If you have never seen Smokey and the Bandit, I pity you. You probably don't understand this obsession. (Again, this is one of my cars. This car looks like shit now. That's the last time I pay $199.99 for a paint job. Those with sharp eyes will notice that this is really a '79 with a '77 nose. 403 power!)
		It scares me that people are building fast Gremlins. What scares me even more is that AMC was stupid enough to name a car "Gremlin". That's probably why they're out of business. Luckily, today we have companies naming their vehicles things like S-10 Xtreme, VehiCross, and Grand Vitara. It really is much better now.
		Chevy Monzas are actually kind of cool. They almost look like third-generation Camaros mixed with mid-'70s Novas. What's not cool are people from the trailer park dousing these in red primer, dumping an 305, 283, or other clapped-out small-block and thinking that they are King Shit. In the white trash's attempt to do a burnout, the engine will go "BLA TAT TAT TAT TAW!" as it labors against the brakes. Dirtball will then state that he must have gotten some bad gasoline. Oh, of course! That happens all the time these days!
		El Caminos are super cool. They're like really light pickup trucks that are much faster and handle like cars. Wait, a second, they are cars! But you have to buy truck tags for them... but they have a car frame... but you can buy truck caps for them... but the front of the body and the back are connected... Oh, Jesus.
		Most people refer to the Mustang II as the low point in Mustang's history. They are correct, sir! Heyoooh! Few people know that Mustang IIs were also available with a screaming chicken on the hood. Today, junkyards are full of these cars that are perfectly intact except for having no front suspension. The front suspension was the only good thing about this car, and Mustang II front suspensions can be found under thousands of drag cars and street rods. My first car was a Mustang II. I traded a Sega Genesis for it. I got ripped off.