Shaun Watson reviews�

Movie poster from the Internet Movie Database 2 Fast 2 Furious dir.: John Singleton Starring: Paul Walker as Brian Tyrese as Roman Eva Mendes as Monica Chris "Ludacris" Bridges as Tej Devon Aoki as Suki Jin Auyung as Jimmy and Cole Hauser as Carter Verone

The thought to put this review up on my site occured to me today. I felt I should share the comedy I found in this movie. Anybody who has seen the predecessor of this movie, The Fast and The Furious(2001), can attest to the unintentional humor of Jordana Brewster's unibrow. Before I begin talking about the unintentional humor of 2 Fast 2 Furious (we'll call it "2Fast"), I'll give you a hint to the joke as I summarize the movie. I'll call this summary:

Our streetwise saga continues to follow the adventures of Brian (Paul Walker, Pleasantville, Timeline), former undercover cop. After losing his quarry for the sake of honor in The Fast and the Furious, he was relieved of duty. Now he street races to make ends meet in a sweet ass modified car that he crashes after being pursued by 5-0. The cops take him in and tell him that he's going to jail�IF he doesn't help his old cop buddies break up a druglord's business going on down in Miami AND to save an agent who may have crossed over. Because he's too pretty to be in prison, Brian agrees on one condition: he gets to choose his partner.
Brian chooses his old friend Roman(R&B singer Tyrese, former MTV VJ and star of Baby Boy), on house arrest from the last time he and Brian were together. Both of them had a criminal past as youngsters, yet Roman took the heat. He spent time in prison and still behaves as though he's still there. The two former friends settle their score and go off to do the deed in Miami, with Roman eating and reminiscing about prison every other sentence.

There they meet with a colorful cast of characters: Tej the race promoter(rapper Ludacris), his mechanic Jimmy(Ruff Ryder rapper Jin) and darling grrl racer Suki(supermodel Devon Aoki). These characters show off their cars are and how they live. They are sideline characters in a sideline story to the central conflict of drug running and the main antagonist, drug kingpin Carter Verone(Cole Hauser, Higher Learning, Tears of the Sun). The writers tried to paint Verone as a super-psychopath and failed by overdoing it. The main focus of his madness was control of everything, including his lover Monica(Eva Mendes, Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Children of the Corn V). Little does he know that Monica is a narc. She's able to get a message to our heroes about Verone recruiting drivers through the street racing circuit, and thus we have access to the villain. Will the heroes be able to save the narc, bust the drug kingpin AND keep Roman fed while doing well over 55?

This movie took the time to lovingly show us the interiors, exteriors, engines and camera angles of female behinds never before seen on the silver screen. I would also like to mention that the writers of this movie have supplied me with yet another Bad Movie. Thank you.
I know only one dude who does anything remotely like the characters in 2Fast (no, not the drug dealing/running) and I'll have to agree with him on the subject of nitrous oxide as a catalyst/accelerant/whatever, I don't care. The lack of common sense that makes a man want to put a tank of explosive gas not crucial to the locomotive status of a car is overwhelming. Sure this sounds cool, but don't we remember all the Looney Tunes/Tom & Jerry cartoons that involved nitroglycerin? If you don't then you're on your way to killing yourself and others, because nitro-anything goes BOOM when exposed to heat.

If you see a hot chick leaning up on your hood tell me, what you gonna do? --TELL THAT BITCH TO GET UP OFF MY CAR!

I'd like to take the time now to address the setting of the movie: Miami. I am from Miami, and many of my friends know because I have told them after they have asked me where I am from OR they found out in passing. Many of them have never been to Miami, nor will they ever have the time to go. They depend on me for an explanation of the behaviors candidly captured in 2Fast. Some have asked me if parties like the ones at Tej's house happen every day. Those parties happen if you've got it like that. Especially if you can control the random weather. As for the rest of Miami, I wouldn't know about it; I only lived there and stayed in my area. Like I need Officer con Leche up my ass because I'm in the "wrong area".
On the subject of city street races, I'll have to "put one finger up", as my girl likes to say. Before the old vampires of corporate America plotted to commoditize our youth in this new century, people were killing themselves with organized, white-knuckle street races in the 1990s. We all knew about those happenings because maybe we knew someone who participated and won�or lost their lives. What brought it to light was the extensive TV news coverage of police busts of young men in modified cars and police efforts to curb such activities with vigilance and heavy penalties. If you weren't in the know, the only place you'd see a modified car in expressful use would be the auto show(with prerequisite hot chicks and booming speakers) or at the club(with prerequisite hot chicks and booming speakers).

In short, 2Fast is a bevy of very broad misconceptions that ended up as a script to the ultimate adolescent male fantasy. Stuff went fast, stuff blew up, we got to see someone express power over others(a la Scarface, another Miami rhapsody) and we saw plenty of cleavage and curves. Put all this to a hip-hop/Latin groove under a partly cloudy sky at 87�F and you'll be able to ride the nitrous fumes from the bull-shit-storm that is this fun, if thoroughly inaccurate, racing movie.

• Devon Aoki. You don't see much of the young miss, but when you do it's always good. Even if you don't have residual Yellow fever.
• Jin Auyung. He's now known as the rapper Jin, but I really love his role in 2Fast as Jimmy the mechanic. The respect given to his character in the film made me think he could do anything, despite his Scotty-isms.
• Carter Verone's club party scene. In the overhead shots, there was a dark-haired woman dressed in a black minidress(guys�) who sauntered through the club to get to the bar. I met this woman somewhat later and congratulated her on the movie. She seemed rather nonplussed and asked if I wanted a dance or what. Stardom sure didn't change her.
• Miami. I truly miss my hometown and wish I could visit more frequently. Emphasis on VISIT.
• Tyrese. Holy shit, I want muscles like that.
• Eva Mendes. So they replace Michelle Rodriguez with her? They aren't interchangeable by any stretch. I'll explain: I'd like to meet & hang out with Miss Rodriguez for an entire month; I wanna meet & do Miss Mendes for an entire week.

PRICELESS QUOTES:

"Spank that ass!"
-Suki(Devon Aoki) as she jumps an open drawbridge during the first race.

"It's my sandwich now�bitch!"
-Roman(Tyrese), to a vice cop during a lunch meeting with undercover cops.

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