Subject: Things Men wish Women would say

1.  I'll swallow it all .   .   .   I love the taste.

  2.  Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

  3.  I'm bored.    Let's shave my crotch!

  4.  Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

5.  That was a great fart!  Do another one!

  6.  I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

  7.  You're so sexy when you're hungover.

  8.  I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

  9.  Let's subscribe to Hustler.

  10.  Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

  11.  Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.

  12.  I'll be out painting the house.

  13.  I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to        play on Saturday too.

  14.  Honey.  .  our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

  15.  I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

  16.  No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

  17.  Your mother is way better than mine.

  18.  Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy        yourself new clubs.

  19.  I understand fully.  .  .  our anniversary comes every year for       christ's sake, you go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress       reliever.

  20.  Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a rack of beer,        a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!

  21.  Not the friggin mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!

  22.  Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire        and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

  23.  You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night        feedings.

  24.  God.  .  if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!

  25.  I signed up for aerobics so that I can get my ankles behind my head        for ya.  .  .

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their professions.   The one guy says,      "I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban Professional.       The second guy says...:      " I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids."        They asked the woman, "What are you?" She replied...   "I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC."

10 Ways To Know If You Have PMS

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker that says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-***-****.

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

8. You're counting down the days until menopause.

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

12 †hings you'll never hear a women say!

1.Do you think this dress makes me look too slim?

2.You take me out too much, can't we just stay in?

3.A fake one will do.

4.You look stressed out, let me give you a blow job.

5.Have a night out with your mates, you deserve it.

6.That Pamela Anderson has a lovely body.

7.My mother is a real old bitch.

8.No, no, you buy me too much already.

9.Give it to me hard up the butt big boy, you know I love it.

10.What headache?

11.Put your money away, let me buy the round.

12.Don't get up.  I'll clean the house, you just watch the game and relax.

A female reporter was doing a documentry on American Indians, when the question arose "Why they had so many feathers in their headdress?" Report ask one brave "Why do you have one feather in your headdress?" Brave replies, "Me have one squaw."
Reporter says to herself that this did not have everything to do with it. Reporter asks another brave, "Why do you have four feathers in your headdress?"
Brave replies "Me have four squaws."
Report says to herself I KNOW that cant have everything to do with it, so she goes to Big Chief.
Reporter says "Big Chief, Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?" Big Chief says "Me Big Chief, me fuck em all, fat, skinny, tall. Me Big Chief, me fuck em all. Reporter replies, "You should be hung!" Big Chief says, "Me is hung like the buffalo." Reporter replies, "Why so hostile?"

Big Chief says, "Hostile, doggy style, kitty style me Big Chief me fuck em all!"
Reporter replies, "Oh Dear!"
Big Chief says,"No deer, asshole to tight, runs to fast!!"

Actually...I made that one...heheh. I never said i was mature. Hey the place where i made this is awesome. You can make stuff there or play games such as "Porn Star or My Little Pony?" & "Clothe the Swimsuit Model." Check it out.Brunching . That is also where i got "Tina the Troubled Teen" on my main page.

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