JOSHUA TURD, My Stupid Fuck
Well, although i sometimes miss him, me and josh are no longer friends. We had a couple mutual friends and the "gossip" got to be too much. He supposedly said, "I hope Melissa's spic-nigger kid ain't half as fucked up as her." The week before he actually admitted to me he made fun of my disabled mother in a diner with friend and the waitress, so yeah i believe his ignorant ass said that. Yeah, sometimes he can be funny but he's a sad, miserable little shit deep down. He wasn't my real friend when i needed him.
Here's an example of mail i get from Josh. FYI i sent him a pic of a chick with a dick.
Mail message:
From: fatherferal@hotmail.com (feral anti-christ)
Date: Fri, Apr 7, 2000, 2:01am
To: geekgrrrl5@webtv.net
Subject: send more nasty pics
greetings geek,
that chick was still hot even if she did have a dick.hehehehe at first glance i thought she had really nasty hemorhoids, then i got a bit queasy,but s/he did have extremely nice boobies for a dude. gimme a call today. i work 4-8, so call before you go see jess or after. feral
that pic was kinda scary cause before i saw her nether regions a boner was forming in mine.
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Interview with God himself
Q.What are your favorite colors Josh?
A. Black and glistening viscera.
Q.What do you like to do with your free time?
A. Watch the simpsons, write songs/lyrics, play guitar, keyboard,
etc., masturbate, fuck, eat cheese & canned meat products, do my
best to offend humanity as a whole,and drink coffee/smoke camels.
Q.Besides The Simpsons what are your favorite tv shows?
A. Seinfeld, Nova, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Red Dwarf, East Enders, & Conan
O'Brian.
Q.If you could talk to any person dead or alive who would it be?
A. Richard Wagner, Frank Zappa, Bill Gaines, Randy Rhoads, Bach , Dead, & Euronymos.
Q.What is your occupation?
A. White slavery [liquor store clerk/cretin]
Q. What is your favorite position?
A. On the bottom, why should i do any of the work? Eternal slack, hail dobbs.
Q. What are your favorite bands?
A. Emperor, Mayhem, Mortiis, Slayer, Amorphis, Jethro Tull, Satyricon, Angel Corpse,
Morbid Angel, Wagner, Bach, and Beethoven.
Q. Why does a guy [so tiny] fart so much?
A. It's gotta be the shoes...or maybe all that cheese.
Q. Name 3 people not worth the powder the blow them to hell?
A.
*My grandfather.
*Everyone else.
*You.
Q. Is this getting old yet?
A. I dunno...whatever.
If you have any questions for Josh you'd like me to add e-mail him.
Josh's Favorite links:
EBAY
BlackMetal
Things Josh loathes:
Pointlessly happy people:)
Christians.
Gansta" types.