His name was Henry. I remember the first words he said to me. "your shoe's untied" he said as i walked up the dock with Mike to work. I had taken the day off for the feztival. August 4 it was i guess. He leaned against the dock with a basketball jersey on. I thought he was cute but i was so delerious with Mike i barely noticed. His name was familiar. My cousin had dated his brother we both went to the "bad" school with. I told her he was working with me. As time went on and Mike's denial of his queerness began i started to like Henry. I told my cousin. She decided to call him. Nice. Fine. Then Mike really hurt me so bad i wanted to die. I developed a friendship with Henry. He would say things like, "i wish i could find a girl like you." Like sincerely. Like he could tell i was true, real, and honest. Love.
i didn't think him and my cousin were good for eachother. And... i really liked him. She'd done it to me a million times. I told him i liked him. He told me the feelings were mutual. We developed a d.l. relationship. My cousin and Henry broke up. Henry had just gotten out of jail for selling crack-cocaine. He was on parole. limited, restricted...we talked about moving in with eachother. I was deleriously happy. He was back living with his parents. He had to get out. I was 2 small towns away with my parents. I began to have Henry and his son, Henry Jr. over. I'd cook them dinner. We went to the park.
Some weird shit happened.
i fell in love with henry.

i am in love with henry still. [6 months of seeing eachother go by.] I realise henry lies...he hides things...we are polar oppisites. Wu-tang meets Hole. I love him anyway.

I think Henry loves me too. 2 months ago i move to his street.
I discover a lot on my own. Henry realises and comes clean. He tells me he does love me...but this girl...before he got locked up...he has strong feelings for her. 2 weeks before this i sleep with Henry for the 1st time. We make love. i've only been with Mike. Lost my virginity to him at 20. It is the most special feeling i have ever felt.
So he tells me to hang on...he's confused. One morning i walk 1 house over to henry's. This girl answers the door. "is henry there?" i say in shock. "whatchu want?" this gansta bitch says. Henry looks down from his window...i fight back tears. He is done. I can't take the hurt anymore...he called my mother's house to say he was worried about me cos he hasn't seen me. I never called back.

i still love him...i miss him..was he entirely a lie? do i care..??

*Since i wrote this me and Henry lived together, he fucked my best friend, his best friend beat me up, he's with Nikie the stripper...i haven't spoken to him in months...i have to write more on this when i have time to be the analytical bitch i am, promise. CRAZY shit.