19th February 2000

It's been unseasonably warm the past few days, and bright too. The kind of days that make you want to go catch a bus down to the beach and lie in the sunlight and warmth; only there isn't a beach in london and it's the middle of winter. It dawned beautifully today, warm and sunny as usual then somewhere around 2 rainclouds (from france of course) appeared out of nowhere and it became a typical cold muggy english day, but it's 4pm now and the clouds have rained themselves out, and its bright and struggling to get back to being warm and you'd never suspect the sun was going to set in an hour and a half.

On beaches. I saw One More Kiss last night, and there was a beach in it. There were scenes of an old man walking his dog on the beach, of lovers running on the beach and two people riding horses down the beach, and I pined away inside because I'm in love with beaches; I want to grow old by a beach and walk my labrador down it every day and watch the sunset over the sea, I want to taste the tang of salt in the air and be caressed by a warm caring inbound sea breeze (not a freezing cold english sea breeze either) I want a house by the beach just like in that movie. Some of my best memories are of beaches. I remember a really bizarre holiday I once took to Sydney, and amongst the best memories I have of it (surprise surprise, Anna) were of sitting on the cliffs with a friend I'd just met - for the first time - half an hour ago chatting, and walking down the beach with her, bondi beach it was I think. There's just something about sand and sea that get to me. Have you ever watched the sunrise over the sea? Try it. It's magical. The breakers start first by turning a faint luminiscent blue, almost flourescent in a muted kind of way, and all around you pitch black. It's weird. Then the sky lightens and the sea catches it and turns a fainter and fainter shade of yellow as the sun comes up, then the golds and reds appear - for a very faint while - and the sea faithfully reflects it like an oil painting, and then it's morning just as usual and people being to wake up, and dogs run by you and sniff at your ankles.

Wandered to Camden market today and walked around for a bit; it's pretty there, there's shops by the Locks - real locks, the kind you read of in story books - and stalls by the river and odd little nick nacks everywhere. It's a whole mysterious little world waiting to be explored, and maybe somewhere in there I'll find an affordable pair of brown shoes and a black leather jacket.

The female lead for One More Kiss wasn't pretty, at least I didn't think she was. When she cried she looked rather like a man. But by the end of the show, I knew she was beautiful. If you ever feel like watching a very good depressing movie, that's the one for you.