24th April 2000

It seems I'm beginning to forget how to chill out. Barely five days into my holidays and I'm running out of things to do, it's 9pm now and the 8 days more of holidays is beginning to look like an eternity... what do I do with myself now hmm. Sixpence none the richer is asking me to kiss her, beneath the milky twilight and its only 9.03 now. Woke up today after spending an hour in that vague transitional zone between dreams and reality, and hurried to the park for breakfast. Weather report yesterday promised clear skies in the morning and thunderstorms and snow in the afternoon, well maybe not snow. Well. It drizzled on me during breakfast, and in the afternoon after I'd settled down onto my couch to weather the storm, with Michael Crichton, it turned sunny and beautiful. So I ended up reading "Airframe" in the park, and I finished it. One less thing to do now. I will confess that it feels, wonderful. To not have anything on my mind, no responsibilities, no white coat to don, no hospital to rush to, no reading to fnish, nothing nothing nothing.

I also feel slightly lost, as if I've got nothing left in life, like I'm just cruising along in the sunshine curled up on a park bench reading a science-fiction book with no relevance to the real world at all.

While I was in the park two old women walked by with their labradors, huge fluffy curly-haired labradors. One was white and wearing a seeing eye outfit and leading his mistress with great dignity and an air of officiousness (?) and the other was brown and scruffy and waggy and sniffing at everyone who wandered across his path, and when they met they stopped to greet each other and the working dog became all happy and sniffy and fluffy and his air of importance just melted away. There's something about dogs, I swear. They just bring sunlight into my life, even on the greyest, drizzliest day. Somehow they cut through all the self-absorbed self-centred thoughts I tend to gravitate towards, and bring a silly smile to my face. I grinned at the two old ladies but they just glared at me and walked by so I'll assume they couldn't see me. Hey what are seeing eye dogs for anyhow? :)

I've been thinking a bit about procrastination lately.

oh well.

oh and before I end, check this page out : www.cyberway.com.sg/~lucian .