3rd February 2000

Anna's made a mention of me on her webpage; Anna's page cracks me up; sometimes I rather miss her. Anna's coming to London sometime soon and I'm looking forward to it.
It's interesting how both the Anna's I know are so similar yet so completely different.

Jin-Ee sent me this article sometime back. It's on how Nice Guys get nowhere, and it was written by Stuart Currie for "Her World".

________

I grew up with a gang of sisters and a cool mum and dad. I've always pulled my weight around the house and never expected them to clear up after me. I'm also Mr Sympathy when it comes to PMS, I cook a mean lasagne and I'm a whizz kid with an iron. So I happily accepted that men could be sensitive, caring human beings and not just unreliable Neanderthal humping machines. That was until I realised girls only fancy unreliable Neanderthal humping machines!

Sarah and I met at university -- we became friends before I dared to snog her. She said I was "refreshing" and that it was a relief not to have to play those "hard-to-get" games. I was her best friend, she said, and the most sensitive boyfriend she'd ever had. Any problems we had -- like my outbursts of jealousy if she talked to another guy -- we'd sort out.

This New Man business was great, or so I thought. Sarah dumped me for a bloke she'd fancied for ages called Harry. But, in spite of our promises of absolute honesty, she'd never mentioned Harry. What's more, harry is not your Mr Sensitive"Let's talk about it" kind of guy. They only see each other when he feels like it. He turns up for a date four hours late after 10 beers and a curry and he plays the field with other girls, claiming, "It didn't mean anything".

Harry's a caveman and proud of it. But my ex thinks he's drop-dead sexy. In fact, she's besotted. I'm not being bitter, honest. These days I meet gorgeous girls and let them tell me their most intimate feelings... about the guy who never calls back, never remembers their birthday and is always late. I listen, talk to them, laugh a ttheir jokes and what do I get at the end of the night? A kiss on the cheek and the line, "You're like a brother to me".

You see, the problem with New Men is you girls. You haven't got round to being New Women.

The whole thing started because you wanted sensitive men, but you weren't prepraerd to be sensitive back. You aren't grown up enough to love us caring blokes for what we are. You get a kick out of pinning down a man who's hard to get and it's an ego boost to entice a seemingly unobtainable man.

You may disagreee, but think about it. Would James Dean be such an icon if he was filling out a washing-up rota in Rebel Without A Cause? Would Rhett Butler be as sexy if "Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" became "Quite frankly, my equal partner, I think we ought to discuss this over a cup of herbal tea"? Until you lot recognise equality as sexy, nice guys don't stand a chance.