As I mentioned before I am fifty two years old and live with my wonderful wife and two teenage daughters, all of whom know about my transvestism and fully support me. I haven't 'come out' publicly, but then I am not convincing enough when dressed to 'pass' anyway. I have made some compromises over the years to keep the family happy, and the two things they don't like are me shaving my beard off or shaving my legs. And it is a little difficult to look convincing as a woman with a beard!

However I do like to be outside when I am dressed up and I find I can do this up here in the North of England because the hills and moors are mostly free of people. I have made a mask which covers the lower half of my face (cut from a fancy dress mask from a novelty shop) which should be, I hope, adequate at a distance should I run into someone by mistake. Also it looks fairly convincing for photography, which has become a passion since I bought a digital camera.

I was 25 before I discovered I liked dressing up in women's clothes. I had grown up in a very male environment (no sisters, all boys schools) and I suppose it had never ocurred to me. I held a fancy dress party for my 25th birthday, and I decided to go as a schoolgirl. I made the uniform myself and when I put it on it felt really good, like I was coming home. People at the party commented on how I seemed to have started moving and holding myself like a woman, which was all unconcious! And after the party I found myself drawn to putting on the costume again and again. Before long I was making or acquiring other items of female clothing and the rest is history!

At first it was all tinged with guilt and I have been through the usual cycles of trying to supress it and throwing everything away, then gradually buiding up again. But over the years, thanks to the understanding of my partner and family and thanks to the internet, I have come to feel very much at ease with it all.

When I first started dressing up I made little attempt to look like a woman. It was the feel of the clothes that mattered. I love the feeling of different fabrics and the floatiness of skirts and dresses, and I love being out in a light breeze on a warm day. But over the years I have acquired the wig, false boobs and hip padding as I have got more fussy about how I look, particularly now that I have a digital camera. Really, life has got so much easier for transvestites, particularly thanks to the internet. It has made the purchase of clothes and accessories simple and anonymous.

When I met my partner Kate I had been dressing up for three years and knew it had become part of me. So I felt the need to tell Kate about my transvestism very early on in the relationship. To my delight she was perfectly at ease with it all and has been a huge support ever since. In fact, as she is an academic researcher in Cultural Studies, I had to stop her publishing a paper about me!

Then the children arrived (two girls), but while they were young it was relatively easy to keep my dressing up a secret. However the time came when I felt they were becoming more aware and there was a danger they would find out by accident. They were 10 and 8 when I told them and I don't think they really understood, but they accepted it, bless them, and I have had the freedom of the house at ever since. As the girls have got older their personalities have affected how they feel about my habit. The older one is quite 'different' herself and can easily empathise with and accept me. But the younger girl is very mainstream and sociable and resents having a Dad who is 'not normal'. This of course may change as she matures.

It has made such a difference to my happiness that my family has accepted my difference and my heart goes out to those cross dressers who have to keep it a secret from their loved ones.

So here I am in wig, falsies and funny mask. I have the freedom of the house and to a lesser extent the freedom of the hills that surround me. So, what would I still like? I am very unsociable and would hate to go pubbing and clubbing. I don't even know if I would like to hang out with other trannies. I would like to be able to pass in public, but I am never going to be able to do that with a beard! Anyway, I have a big nose and very angular features so I don't think I would pass even clean-shaven. I hate the feel of makeup and I'm not prepared to mutilate my genitals, so I think I have gone as far as I can!

I think what I would really appreciate is some feedback. Is there anyone out there who cross dresses with a beard? Are there any other trannie hillwalkers? What do you think of my pictures? Do I look feminine? Do I look nice? I get the impression from surfing the web that we transvestites have a powerful capacity for self delusion. I think that what we see as being ourselves is very different from the image an outsider would see. Not that it matters- after all it is only meant to be 'good clean fun'!

So please let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you.