All_About

    I have lived in Salisbury Maryland all my life. (How dissapointing) My life was a complete dream until I turned 13. When I reached the teen years, it was like a great brick came from the sky and hit me during a dream. This deluge of information from books just kind of washed over my brain, leaving me in a kind of comatose state the entire night. I was dead tired the next morning, because I hadn't slept a moment. That was how it felt, and unless my imagination is running away again, it's the truth. Ever since then, I have been closely studying my friends and became much more conversational than before. Reality hit me hard that day, and somethings really haven't changed since then. I have a strange preoccupation with GIJOES and LEGOS. Sometimes the more complicated the individual, the more he desires for simplicity. The one thing that consumes the most amount of my time has to be playing games. I am a complete addict.

     My life since then has changed only a little bit. I still don't care about grades, I only care about making myself a better person. I was born and raised as a Methodist, but that says nothing due to the sheer variety of beliefs within the Methodist Church. Our new pastor is WAY too conservative for my liking, (what? Jesus? You actually believe in that crap?) so I spent a little time reading some of my dad's old religion books from college. They are pretty neat, if I may say so myself. There is a strange feeling you get when you think about the universe, and all of those that live within it. It's kind of like a daydream, except people take you seriously when you talk about it. ("Yes, well I saw the world as a marble, a marble in God's pocket." "Fascinating, absolutely fascinating. Take my money.") I am really a very happy person. I look at religion with a wary glance, but I am very respectful. I still don't know what I believe in, certainly not any church on earth. The way I see it, I do believe in a sort of God. A divine, personal being. I also believe in the impersonal god, the one that resides within all of us. To those of you who aren't Buddhist, this is hardcore Buddhism, Mahayana Buddhism. I'm not entirely Buddhist, at least not according to the existing religion. I believe in a woman's right to choose, no traditional family roles, and I think that love, or at least true love, is a very good thing. (Some Buddhists consider love to be a craving, but those are the fundamentalists) Religion is interesting, but I think that it makes much more sense for me to try and figure things out from my days here on earth. I try to learn the simple lessons offered to me every day, like the problems of jealousy, avarice, and the sort.

      The months of April and May 2001 now hold a special meaning in my life. Besides my rather painful and private surgery over Spring Break, I have been occupying myself with prophecy. At the beginning of every week, I had a......lets just call it a vision. These things ranged from being killed in a lovers arms (Ha! That reminds me, dreamdoctor.com has an awful psychoanalysis section, which is where I went to to explain all of my dreams), to fencing with the devil, and here's my favorite, recalling speeches from past lives. I had a good speech that I simply had to share with Kurt, Neil, and Roger because it simply was so cool. It was all about what is the meaning of life and what we should all do to enjoy our stay on the paradisical hotel Earth.

      I guess some things have changed recently. After a few emails with Jacqui, I can proudly say that we're close friends, and we enjoy sharing our dreams with each other. I still tell Sam my dreams, but she isn't on as often as she used to be. So, I end up telling some people some dreams, and basically forgetting who knows what. Trust me, it's confusing. I guess I've come to rely on my friends a lot more, and divulging some secrets I wouldn't tell unless forced at gunpoint. Trust me, life is getting bloody interesting, and FAST. I have friends who, for once in my life, actually want my companionship. Not just as an acquaintance or some passing carnival figure, but a real friend. Someone you can trust and seek for advice, my friends look at me in the way I never thought possible. At least, that is how it seems to me right now. I guess my life is beginning to mature, but I think that I'm just starting to realize all the things that I've been given in life, and life REALLY looks good now. I don't know why, but I'm starting to realize how much we have to look forward to. Of course, that's just my rambling. I've been spending much more of my time chatting and writing than I ever put into schoolwork, but school still drains me of all of my creativity and inspiration. Still, we do get snow days every once in a while. I love snow days!

     Maybe some of this makes sense to you, and I hope it does. If not, I'm usually available via email, and you can pose whatever striking question that is boggling your mind presently. OR, you can TRY and explain what the heck was the problem with Swordfish, and why some people actually thought it was a good movie. Well, get back to me on that.

I update this irregularly, so you better watch you. That's right, I'm looking at you.