"JC, it’s me Gennie. Listen, I need to get out of L.A. but I don’t want to leave without you. You’re in Las Vegas for a couple days, right? Well I was hoping I could fly up there and see you. JC, don’t leave me again."nextI hung up JC’s phone and placed it back on the bedside table. He was fast asleep in his usual position - flat on his back as his fingers nonchalantly stroked the head of his penis. I listed in on his voice mail a few times before but those were always by accident. This time, however, was done with a purpose. I wanted to know... I needed to know who he kept talking to. Guess that means I won’t be able to see JC in my bed for a few nights due to Gennie’s visit. Unless...
I pick up the phone again and listen to his voicemail until I reach Gennie’s message. Press 9 to delete right? I wait for her southern accent to shut-up and just when I’m seconds away from pushing 9, my arm is pulled back and pushed against my back. I can feel every inch of my arm burning with pain as JC took his phone back with his free hand.
"Don’t ever fucking touch this again or I’ll really fuck you up the ass. And I this time I don’t mean the way Joey does."
I start crying as he releases my arm and pushed off the bed. "I just wanted to know who you are talking to!" I can’t help myself as the tears pour from my eyes, "I love you JC! God damnit! And you never talk to me!"
He quickly jumped off the bed and pulled me off the ground by one arm. "You are such a fucking pussy! I hate you Timberlake. I can’t stand you, but I can’t kill you because you help bring in the fucking paychecks. And who I talk to is none of your damned business."
"Then why do you always fuck me?" I knew I was never supposed to talk to JC like this but I couldn’t help myself. If he did hate me like he says, when why sleep with me? Why make me feel loved?
"Because Gina’s not around."
"Why?" I felt my arm slipping free from his grasp, a bruise was so going to show up. Quickly, JC dropped me back on the floor and walked to the pile of clothes lying in the corner. He mumbles ever so softly. It was the first time I have ever heard him speak with feeling and emotions, "Because she’s dead."
Holy shitcakes! "But you talk to her everyday."
"Are you that stupid, Timberlake? I talk to the answering machine. All the voicemails I get from her are from years ago. I just play them over and over." He faces me, tears are running down his face. He can tell I want to ask a question but I’m too shocked to speak a word. He sighs roughly, "Speak damnit."
"How did she...?"
"She killed herself."
"Why?"
"She said she would rather fuck Lucifer rather then love me."
I stood up and walked towards JC who was now sitting down on the edge of the bed. He was crying.
"When did all this happen?"
"Shortly before she picked up a shot gun and blew her fucking brains all over my living room."
"JC..."
"Four months ago. She did it to piss me off. I hate questions and all the cops. Asking this and that."
I touched his arm and leaned on his shoulder. He stood up and walked out of the room, pulling on a pair of pants as he left.
I still don’t know I smiled after he closed the door. Maybe it was because I knew he was completely mine. Maybe because I was glad that he felt some of the pain I felt just loving him. Maybe I didn’t believe him. Whatever it was... I’m glad he was human.
You’re all mine Chasez