Where am I? I have to pee. My head hurts. My body aches. Is that…?next“Why does it feel like I have something inside my dick?” I don’t feel right down there.
“It’s a catheter.” I know that voice. My vision is still hazy, but I’m able to make out the image.
“What happened?”
“You decided to have some fun with pain killers and alcohol. I found you stripping your clothes and almost jumping into the pool.” He was smoking in the small hospital room.
“There’s no smoking.”
“I’m not smoking. I’m committing suicide.” He put the cigarette out on the table.
“You’re sick.”
“That’s what everyone tells me.” He stares at me before moving across the room, checking the hallways if anyone is coming. He turns around to see me staring at the food they brought in supposedly earlier. Half the food is gone and his boyish charm shows through with a light smile, “I got hungry. I’ll buy you a Twinkie later.”
Gross. I hate that shit. I stare at his hazy image move around the room until he locks the door and sits on the foot of my bed, Indian style. He smiles like a child and stares back at me. I can’t help but smile back. “It’s getting late. Where’s the rest of the guys?”
He scratches the back of his head and looks out the window before looking back at me, “I don’t know. Probably fucking around in Florida.”
At the same time, both of us. “Or Britney.”
I smile but it fades when I notice the reality of everything, “Why are you here?”
Silence. He gets off the bed and starts to move around the room again, lighting another cigarette. “It’s hot in here. Open a window or something…”
“You’re avoiding.”
“And you’re too sober.” He pulls out a small bottle of morphine… only it doesn’t feel like morphine. “Jacked it from Justin before he sold it to Joey.”
“That’s not….”
“Heroin.”
I stare at him. Never before has he given me that. Never before has he done it. They’re practically the same thing but this is like… double time. “When did you…?”
“Like there’s a difference in the stuff. Heroin comes from morphine which comes from opium. Same fucking thing.” He pockets it and stares at me. “It’s waiting for you when you get out. I’m leaving.”
My vision gets really hazy. I can’t tell if I’m crying or my vision is just really going. “Where are you going?”
“To play. Get some rest. I’ll come back later.”
“No you won’t.”
“I know.” He leans in and kisses my lips. They taste like coffee. He lightly licks my lips as he pulls back, “My little secret. I love you.”
“Liar.”
“You’re just dreaming.”
“Liar.”
“I do. Really.”
“Liar.”
“You’re right.” He turns and walks out of the room. I already miss his kiss.
Damn. I need to get laid.