Britney’s still sitting on the stairs, watching me. I inject another needle into me, making sure it’s not enough to make me pass out. I’ve done that too many times today. I just want to feel nothing, not anything.nextShe moves down another step and waits for me to look up at her. She repeats her words again, “Justin hates you, Chris.”
“Sure he does.” I remove the lamp cord from my arm. “Do you have any clue how many times he says that and still calls me his best friend?”
“He only says that because he’s scared you’ll kill yourself if you find out no one really cares for you.” She’s playing with her toes.
“You and JC are so full of shit.”
“I’m not lying. No one likes you.”
“No one likes you Brit. Justin only uses you to convince himself he’s not completely gay. Joey and Lance fuck you because you so easy. JC only fucks you because you look so much like his ex.” I lean against the wall, feeling the morphine kick in.
Britney gets up and walks over to me. She sits on my lap and touches my face, “You don’t hate me.”
“’Cause I can’t even get my dick up to fuck a wall.”
“You have a mouth.” Her fingers trace my lips.
I want to push her off me but I can’t. She actually feels nice on top of me. “Yeah, you can have pleasure while I’m still suffering.”
“You have an ass.”
I laugh. “I don’t think so.”
She continues to touch my face, smiling like a child. Her eyes are soft and very serious. I finally understand now why all the guys want her. She’s beautiful. “But I’m sure you have a cute little ass, Chris.”
She smells like lavender… beautiful. Simply beautiful. “Let’s make a deal. You go to Joey’s house with Lance and JC. Let them have their way with you and then when you’re lying on the floor, bleeding uncontrollably, then I’ll let you stick something up my ass.”
Her smile fades. “Fuck you.” She moves to get up but I pull her back down on me. “Let me go.”
I stare at her as she searches around the room for… nothing really. She just can’t make eye contact when she’s hurt. I start to feel bad, even though I really don’t want to. “I’m sorry Britney. Seriously, I am.”
She looks at me coldly. Ouch. “If Justin sees us…”
“He’s got no reason to get jealous. I’m Clyde, remember?” I send her a small smile and she quickly bursts into laughter.
“I guess I’m Bonnie then, huh? Only we don’t die, right?”
“Right.” I want to kiss her. Her smile is beautiful. Justin… my hatred for him grows the more I look at his girlfriend. She’s too prefect for him. Ungrateful little bastard. She moves around on my lap so that her back is facing me. She then leans back on my chest, allowing me to wrap my arms around her. She warm.
Silence passes between us and I’m getting sleepy. Sleep sounds good right about now. Britney yawns a few times before silencing the silence. “Why’d you let yourself get this way?”
“I was just in too much pain to go on with life.”
“Why not just kill yourself?”
“Because… I have a question for you.”
She scratches her nose. “Shoot.”
“Why do you let the guys abuse you when you know you deserve much better?”
She doesn’t move. I literally felt her stop breathing, her blood froze. “I love Justin.” That was a lie. “He’s all I got and if loving him brings me pain, then so be it.”
“He lets JC, Joey and Lance rape you while he screams and cries in the corner waiting his turn.”
“He doesn’t let. They just do it.”
“But Britney… Why are you with someone that is friends with… them?”
She gets off me and walks about the room. “Since when is the last time all of us were ever friends?” She stares at me for a minute before leaving the room, calling out for Justin.
I’m really starting to hate that name.