Finally the week has come to a close. Friday night and we have the day off. Thank God. I thought I would have to bring an Uzi to the concert and shoot all the little girls screaming my name. And maybe Justin’s name as well. But here I am, sitting in the middle of my hotel room listening to New Kids On the Block sing about a girl having the right stuff. What I wouldn’t give to rip off the head of Donny. Thinks he’s a bad ass. You haven’t met me yet.nextI feel numb tonight and can’t help but get emotional once “Please Don’t Go Girl” comes on. I miss her. I miss Gennie. I can’t help but think at this moment she was in the next room lying in her bed waiting for Joey to return. Should I visit her? Should I stop by and tell her that I’m sorry for everything? Memories of our past flood my mind as I decide against it. Just by looking at us, you couldn’t tell that we were ever involved with one another. She was this beautiful young woman that had a life full of happiness ahead of her and then I entered her life and fucked it up.
Side note: “Cover Girl” is a shitty song.
Now before you start thinking I’m some fucked up psycho that loves the smell of blood, hear me out first. I wasn’t always like this. Gennie had come home early one night and was in the kitchen cooking up some steaks for my birthday dinner. All the guys were going to be there as well as a few other friends and her and my parents. God, it was going to be a great night. I headed upstairs to take a shower and when I stepped out, I could just smell the blood from the steaks downstairs. My hands started shaking spontaneously as I rubbed them together trying to stop them. I walked downstairs and saw Gennie outside on the patio playing with the grill, getting the flames just right. It seemed I had no control over myself anymore and slowly walked towards the backdoor, grabbed a knife as I passed the kitchen. The knob was cold against my hand as I leisurely turned it, and crept up behind her. Oh, she looked beautiful standing there over the fire in her little tank top with her cute shorts. I tried to stop myself, I did. My hand moved over her mouth and pulled her head back, exposing the soft skin of her neck. The smooth metal of the knife touched her neck, pushing into the skin.
I felt her tears touch my hand as I pushed harder and harder. I don’t think I broke skin… yet. I muffled scream came from her covered mouth as I felt warm blood touch my hand. I cut her. Oh. My. God. I just cut a slit in my girlfriend’s neck. Holy shit! I backed away from her as her arms went flying up her neck, clutching to hold the blood in. I dropped the knife and fell to my knees crying. “Gennie… Angel girl. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
There she was. Rolled into a small ball, holding her neck, looking over at me and shaking. Her green eyes filled with fear. I stood up, almost slipping on the pouring blood. So much blood, it looked like someone dropped a paint can. It wasn’t red like I thought it would look like or what you see in the movies. It was almost black. A dark red that looked black. Shit. I knelt down beside her, “Gennie, can you stand?”
She wouldn’t move. Fear had taken over her body. I reached out to help her up, but one of her bloodied hands cupped on my jaw and pushed me away. She wouldn’t let me help her as she cried out in pain when she stood up. One last look from her as she ran into the house, locking the sliding door after her. My girlfriend was scared of me. What had I done? Luckily, she was willing to talk to me over a payphone at the local 7-11. She never forgave me. And to this day, I don’t think she ever will. That scar sits pretty beneath her chin, reminding her everyday of the hell I caused her for the next six months of our relationship. I sigh stare at the shadows dancing on my ceiling made from the small candle. New Kids have stopped singing, thank God, and now my room is completely silent. I start to close my eyes until I hear voices coming from Gennie’s room. Joey’s returned. Great. Muffled sounds, a laugh. And before I realize it, I can hear their moans of pleasure. I roll over and place a pillow over my head but I can still hear them. After what seems like half and hour which was more like two minutes, I give up and join in on the party. Zip, pants down, dicks out. Time to start a-rubbing.