His hotel room, rather more like suite, was painted a blinding white. Four different rooms and the only one he used was the bedroom. The bed was neatly made with not even a crease in the bedspread. He poured himself a drink from the wet bar and downed it rather fast.nextI watched him pour another and one more before I realized he has changed. He reminded me of Wade.
He had one more drink before coming towards me. I sat on the bed staring at the blank TV as he sat beside me. “I’m not sleeping with you Josh. I know if I do, I’ll go back to what I don’t want to be.”
“I’m not asking for sex.” I pulled the drink from his hand, taking a sip. I was being honest.
“You kissed me.”
“Would it be so fucking hard to believe that maybe I missed you?” I finished the drink, placing the glass on the floor between our feet. He was barefoot. I leaned on my knees and stared at the ground waiting for Justin to speak. He didn’t. I looked up at him, my elbows pressing into my thighs. “Jus?”
He kept his head still, but moved his eyes downward to stare at me. “I wanted to rid you from my life forever. I hated you.”
“Hated?”
“Yes. I wanted to loved you. I would have done anything to be with you, but every time I was able to be with you, something would happen and I’d get hurt.” His eyes started to shine. He was on the verge of crying. “And I can’t live like that. Not anymore. I moved on. I cleaned up. Same with Joey, Chris and Lance. We want to be friends again, JC. Friends. You’re the only one that hasn’t let go of the past.”
I sat up, stretching my legs before me. I didn’t know what to say. I should leave… I stood up and grabbed the jacket I had thrown on the bed. Justin stood up after me, “I’m sorry.”
I slipped one arm through the jacket, “Don’t be. I’m the one that is sorry. I’m sorry that you fell in love with me and ruined the friendship we had. I’m sorry I fucked you. I’m sorry Joey took my girlfriend. I’m sorry I loved Britney. I’m sorry that Wade killed my girlfriend.” I stepped closer towards him, “But you know what? I’m not sorry that I fucking met you. I‘m not sorry I left. I’m not sorry everyone got back on track. And I’m defiantly not sorry that I am the way I am.”
And I left. Gone.
I heard Justin screaming my name after me as I rushed to the door. The elevator was just starting to close as I ran towards it, slipping through the doors before they shut. I collected myself quickly as a young woman stood beside me. She smiled coyly at me as I returned that smile. I wanted to stay straight. I wanted to let her see tomorrow. I wanted her to live.
But that wouldn’t be fair, would it?
I licked my lips. “What would you say to a cup of coffee? My treat.”
She’s mine.