My bed is my safe haven. It protects me, comforts me. I am suffering. In and out they go. In and out, never with a care. Wake up, five men around my bed. White coats, glasses. They always looks the same, sound the same. Treat me the same.“This one suffers from schizophrenia. Medical treatment has failed. He is also quite violent towards a few of the female nurses.”
I just lay there. Staring back at them. I am Patient 4569. None has asked for my name. None has wanted to know my name. None care to ask. None care to know.
I have three nurses. Two hate me. One is this ugly, beast of a woman. The others are young, fair, and most defiantly blonde. They won’t come in here without a guard or the beast-woman. I don’t know why. Maybe it was biting the shoulder until it bled. Maybe it was trying to rape one with a broken glass. Maybe it was trying to stick the morphine into their arm. Maybe it was when
I’m tied down. Staring at the ceiling, watching a cricket make his way through the white popcorn. He’s jumped four times only to realize gravity cannot be denied. Again and again. Persistent little fuck. He’s fallen on my face a few times, but I can’t play with him. I’m tied down.
I want to sleep. Sleep on my bed. My bed is my safe haven. It protects me, comforts me. But I can’t. I hear them. Always starting up once they finally stop. Over and over. Like the damn fucking cricket. Persistent. Unrelenting. Continual. Merciless. All I want is at least an hour.
My eyes are dry. I can feel them cracking. The blood leaks, pours, dribbles. I’m tied down. My wrists are bruised, cut. Beast-woman walked in. She walks near me, tries to touch my face but I snap at her. “Little fucker.” I see the morphine. No, please no. They won’t stop. They’ll continue to haunt me. They get louder. I can’t stand them, I can’t have them. Beast-woman cares not. I want to yell at her to stop. But she’ll only give me more. I stare at her as black horns emerge from her fatty little head. My eyes are dry.
Morphine sleeps. I don’t. I can’t. They wait for me. Always there. Never gone. Fuckers. My lids are heavy. No. Must fight it, keep them away. I can’t help it.
Voices are about. Figures are around the bed. Listen. Try and listen.
“.work to seems nothing but, tried We’ve. him for hope no just is There.”
“.siht detrats tahw wenk I hsiw tsuj I”
“Mr. Timberlake, I believe Mr. Chasez would need his rest now. The morphine has taken affect.” Beast-woman. Don’t leave me. Justin, I need you. They’re starting again.
Screams. They’re here. I join in with them. Moving about on the bed. My ankles and wrists spit up blood. White sheets are black, red, pink. I can hear them. Never leaving. Never stopping. Screams.
No, Mommy. I promise, the shotgun doesn’t hurt. Open wide.
Boom.