I can’t shake this feeling and it’s starting to seriously pissing me off. Guilt. I don’t know if its because I fucked Justin or because I think I’m falling for Britney.
Me and JC have… well, he said he’s coming to the Vegas show. I’m glad since I really need to talk to him. I’m also being haunted by his… mine… our girlfriend.
I just keep seeing her squirm under that blade. Her blood just dripping off my hands… forgive me.
Yep… I’m going to Hell. I killed JC’s girl. Fucked Justin’s. And fell in love with both. Shoot me, someone. Rid me of everything.
I am filthy. I am dirt. I am…
…hungry.
I’ve been inside the venue for hours doing nothing and forgetting everything. Maybe there’s a cheap restaurant near by.
I head out and across the street. Uh… I guess In & Out will do. Whatever, food is food.
I get a few shocked and surprised looks from a group of teens. Damn, Joey would love this. One of them, maybe sixteen but definitely illegal, walks up to me while I’m waiting my turn in line. “You’re Wade Robson, right?”
Go away. I’m cranky, undersexed, and horny. And she‘s young, ugly, and not legal. “Uh huh.”
“Oh my gosh! I like so love you!” Valley girls. California. I miss Britney. She’s still talking, “Can we get your autograph? And maybe a picture?” We? Oh yeah… her friends.
“Sure. Just hold on.” I walk up and place my order. A few burgers, yeah. I hate fast food. After they throw a few in a bag, I pay. I turn around and find that the girls have already talked an old man into taking their picture. I walk over, they surround me, snap snap. I sign six napkins and I’m gone.
I should have ran from the place but my legs hurt. From what… I don’t know. All of a sudden I heard that girl calling after me. I stop and face her.
“Wade, um…” she’s nervous over something. She then hands me a small piece of paper with a phone number and “Sharon” written beneath it. “That’s my phone if you ever want to…”
Great. A slut. A roadie slut. I smile… or at least try to hide the fact that this chick thinks I’ll ever sleep with her. Britney… school girl… Britney wins. “I’m flattered, but how old are you?”
“I turn eighteen next month.”
“I’m seeing someone.”
“She doesn’t have to know.”
For some reason I wanted to correct her. And the idea of JC being a “she” cracks me up. Am I really seeing him though? Fuck, I don’t know. “But I will.”
She reaches up, playing with the hair behind my ear. Just as long as she stays away from the neck. “Our little secret.”
Damn, she doesn’t want to give up. I lean in towards her, so close I could hear her heart beating beneath a cheap version of a Versace sweater. “I’ll fuck you when you’re legal.” I move away, crumpling her number and throwing it on the ground. “But you know if you’re really horny, I could always give you Joey’s number.”
I couldn’t believe it as I walked back to the venue. I turned down free pussy… and offered Joey instead. Yep, I’m insane.
Britney’s standing by the stage doors when I got back. Her hands are shaking while she tries to light a cigarette. I run towards her when I see her tears. “Brit?”
She looks up at me, tear chasing tear. “I’m pregnant.”