Almost four days since I last spoke with JC. He’s completely avoiding me. Justin claims JC hates me but JC hates everyone so no surprise there. He took his anger out on Britney the other night. She had to cancel one of her shows because she couldn’t stop her nose from bleeding.
I’m chillin’ in the lobby trying to figure what I want to do but sitting here is rather nice. I end up playing with the small scar on my left wrist for over an hour. I just thought about her… truthfully.
She just left the hospital with me after everyone found out about the death of her baby. She was completely shook up over everything.
I tried to keep her calm. “They’ll find the bastard who did this.”
“That bastard was his father.”
“Joey?”
“JC.”
I remember staring at her for the longest time. JC? There was no way in hell. “I don’t believe it.”
“Yeah well… believe what you want but it was him.”
“How do you know?”
She gave me a look. It was one of those leave-me-alone-you-fucker looks. “Because it’s JC and that’s what JC does.”
“If you knew it was him, why did you leave him with JC? I mean… that was your baby.”
We were sitting at a stop light when this conversation happened. She just opened her door and got out of the car. “I’ll call you.” And that was it.
Three months with her and I fell madly in love.
Every now and then, I catch myself thinking about her. And even missing her. I wonder if she ever regretted that night. That night when she got out of my car, walked back to the hospital to be with JC. I wonder if…
“I’ve been watching you for the past three hours and you’re still sitting here doing nothing. Fuck, you are boring. Oh and you’re alone I might add.”
I look up from staring at the floor and see JC standing in front of me. “Thought you hated me.”
“I do.” He looked around the lobby and signaled towards the bar, “Care for a drink?” He pulled out a wallet, “Justin’s treating.”
“I’m underage.” I got off the couch and followed him into the bar. He ordered me a virgin margarita… fucker. He grabbed a beer for himself. I missed talking with him. “I was thinking about her today.”
“I know. You were sucking on that scar.”
“How’d you know about that?”
“She told me before she left.” The mental image of her and me fighting. Throwing things. She got lucky and slashed my wrist with some broken glass. I love that scar.
I nodded. “She loved you.”
“Loved?”
I looked up at him. He was frowning as if he didn’t understand. Oh yeah… she’s still alive to him. “Do the rumors disturb you?”
“Rumors are just that. Rumors. I know she’s still alive and I may say shit, but… she’s out there. Just wish I knew where. You know.”
I shake my head and steal a sip of his beer. “I don’t know. I last saw her in L.A. and that was is it.”
“You’re a bad liar. Truth is easier to tell.”
“You’re a liar.”
“Yeah but I’m good.”
“Compulsive more like it.”
He kicked me from under the table. “Have you ever been in love with someone and then started to fall for the one person you didn’t want to love?”
I think this virgin drink was getting me drunk. Or it was too sweet. “What?”
“I didn’t say anything.” He got up and walked away. He never looked back… ha! No attachments.