"And Dudley was utterly terrified all summer."

Light laughter broke out in the small cabin. The sound rose filing the space. The two men smiled at each other.

"It feels good, doesn't it?"

"Come again, R?"

"This. Talking, laughing, being social. You have to be enjoying yourself."

"Of course. I'll take any moment I can get with you." Sirius smiled awkwardly. The words seemed foreign as the expression on his face.

"It's good to be here. Harry's doing well. Just listening to his stories reminds me of us at Hogwarts."

"And Peter."

"Yes, and Peter. We can't condemn the boy for the actions of the man." Remus set tea down on the table. "Do you remember the time Filch watched us and we lost the map. We spent a good two hours wandering the halls."

"Did you love me?"

"You know I do."

"Did I love you?"

"Sirius really, what kind of question is that? ... Sirius?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that-- I can't-- I don't remember."

"Sirius?"

"I've been trying so hard R. Sometimes I think I have it but it's all false."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say."

"I can't remember any of it! It took ages to figure out what happy felt like again. THe dog figured it out before me. I kept thinking that the memories would come ack but they took them and their gone. I lost more than twelve years and I hate them for that."

Remus's eyes widened with understanding. "You don't remember anything before..."

"Bits and pieces. Mundanities. Daily routines. Spells, people, places... no happy memories. No smiles or laughter. Anything *good* is gone."

to be continued

~story index~