The trio strode down the hallway. They made their way past the gym, and took the elevator outside the pool, down to the deepest recesses of the Titan's lair. Their footsteps echoed with each step they took. At two very tall doors, they paused, waiting for Dick to key in the security code. The light switched from red to green and the hydraulics swung the silver doors open to reveal... the largest walk in closet ever.

"What is this place?" Roy questioned, cocking his head to the side. He'd never been down here before. Heck, he never even knew there was a 'down here' to go to.

"It's a secret," Donna admonished.

Roy glared at her. "Dick, what is this place?" The other man opened his mouth to respond but before he could start, Roy cut him off. "And don't you dare tell me it's a secret."

"I wasn't going to say that. We have extra space at the tower. So... a lot of the other teams..."

"We hold their extra stuff?!" Roy gaped.

"Yeah. Basically. What's wrong?"

"Now I feel used man."

"You'll get over it."

"So this is the clothing area, huh?" Roy watched as Donna and Dick moved inside and started picking through the various items. "This is gonna take a while."

And so, for a long while, the three of them set to work. Dresses, shirts, pants, were all tossed out from their neatly organized piles. The two men, tried to convince Donna that they'd be fine wearing pants to the club, but she was having none of it. So the boys were begrudgingly trying to find something to wear.

Dick held up a somewhat short black dress. "And what *exactly* has this been used for before? Does anyone know?"

Looking up from her search, Donna leaned over to pull the material. "It stretches. See? Lycra. It'll fit."

"Yeah," Dick protested, "but my point is, it's guy sized already. So *who* was wearing a dress?"

"Well, the JLA gave us a lot of stuff. And the new titans, and even YJ," Donna said rifling though colored scarves. "The storage space has become the superhero community closet."

"That's not comforting." Dick muttered, a mental image of Aquaman in the Lycra dress now officially stuck in his head.

"Yeah, exactly," Roy interjected as he swatted away a blue beret Dick threw towards his head. "None of those people are big enough to fit in this stuff either!"

Donna pulled out a miniskirt. She glanced at it and then at Roy. Then back to the skirt. Thinking better of it, she chucked it back into the bin.

"Okay! I so want to know who's this is!" Roy dug deeper into the closet, then stood, holding a lacy bra meant for a very endowed bust.

"Wonder Woman. Or Powergirl. Or someone like that." Dick scratched his head, wondering how he was going to get the Lycra dress on exactly.

"Ah. The gravity-defying chicks." Roy nodded. He chucked the bra back over his head and began to try to find some decent dresses, or decent somethings. He was so intent on rummaging he didn't notice when Donna picked the bra back up again.

"I really should send this back to Diana," she grimaced, then something in the closet caught her eye. She latched onto a gray fedora and pulled it out. She plopped it on her head askew, and peered out at the two men. "Here's looking at you kid" she quoted.

Donna was so entranced on finding something that matched the fedora that she barely noticed when Roy held up the puffy chiffon and exclaimed, "Ta da!" She whirled from the closet to see, just as Dick gave his opinion of, "Oh hell no you aren't!"

Roy put the dress down. "You have no sense of humor," he informed Dick. The archer looked at the dress Dick was still puzzling over, "Well we're not going to see how it looks if you just hold it."

Donna pulled a suit jacket, her size, out of the closet. "He's right Dick, honey. Try it on." She slipped it on, enjoying the light moment, and then a blue-green scarf caught her eye. She pulled it out and balled it up to toss to Roy. He caught it easily, and looked down at it dumbly.

"It's frilly," he said looking at the slightly scalloped edges.

Dick took the dress into another room, not wanting to fight Lycra in front of the two of them. Roy sighed. "I'm not finding anything Donna."

But Donna wasn't listening, she had just found this really cool pocket watch, sure it wasn't working but it had that perfect look that she tucked it in the jacket pocket. She turned back to Roy and cocked her head to survey him closer. What *would* he look good in?

"You're not going to shave your legs, are you?" she pursed her lips thoughtfully.

Roy stopped his searching and looked at her horrorstruck. That had never crossed his mind, thank you very much, and he wished to keep it that way as well "Are you planning on shaving your head?" he snapped in response.

"Suppose not then. So you're going to want a long gown or nylons."

"Ix-nay on the antyhose-pay. Thank you."

Donna paused in thought. "Well, there are garters..."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Let's try something long?"

She looked at the closet doubtfully. "Long and no sequins. That's quite an order there, Mr. Harper."

"As long as my leg hair stays in tact, wonder babe, you can dress me in anything you want."

"Don't tempt me." she smirked. "Maybe we can find something not totally trashy." She got down to serious digging. Okay, mini skirts were out. So were chiffons, Donna shuddered at that thought. Maybe a long skirt? Loose? Clingy? This was getting difficult. She eyed Roy carefully and then pulled out a nice, long, dress "How bout this thing?" Donna asked.

Roy looked at the Asian style dress. He cocked his head to the side. Maybe... it was drag queen-ish after all. "Thing?" he scoffed indignantly, "I'll have you know that's a perfectly nice --"

"Here's Dickie!" The door flew open and a Dick Grayson walked in looking like... well Dick Grayson in a dress. They still had a long way to go, after all.

"I like the Lycra," Roy smiled. He grinned, looking as Dick turned 360. "Just need to get you a rack now."

"It certainly is tight." Donna admired the view of the back. Then she held up the Asian dress to Roy. "I think this might work."

Roy took the dress from her and held it up against himself. "I guess you want me to go change, huh?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "and I think we need to get dick a wig. Now."

"And a Wonderbra!" Roy added as he slapped Dick's ass on his way out the door.

"Well we do have Wonder Woman's bra around here somewhere..." Dick replied.

Donna frowned. "You *know* that's not what he meant!"

"No. I really don't know for sure that he didn't mean that. This *is* Roy we're talking about."

Donna harrumphed and shook her head. "No," she stated, and pulled the fedora over her eyes. Dick walked over to her, and tugged at the jacket.

"Where did you find this?"

"The closet. Check out the pinstripes."

"It looks good on you," Dick observed. "You pull it off well."

"Yeah well...if you boys are going drag than so am I."

Roy stood in the next room, looking at the dress. He could figure it out. After all, he'd managed to take one like it off, in the dark no less. And on more than one occasion. And if he could remove the dress, he could certainly put it on. Only...well it was on someone else at the time. And this was totally different.

Still, there was no way he was asking for help. Dick managed to dress himself, therefore Roy would do it on his own. He looked back at the array of buttons -- or die trying

Dick adjusted the strap on his dress. Donna straightened her tie. Dick glanced over at the door to the other room. "He's been in there for awhile. Think he's okay?"

"Of course he is," Donna said, as she pulled out a purple-blue scarf and tossed it to Dick. She glanced again at the door. "We'll knock in five minutes if he doesn't come out."

"With the Polaroid?"

"Don't be a brat." Donna scolded.

"Spoil sport," Dick retorted and wrapped the scarf around his head.

Donna looked at him quixotically. "No... that wasn't for.." but she trailed off figuring it wasn't worth the effort

The door burst open and Roy came out in his dress. Looking strangely attractive, to both Dick and Donna. Thier mouth dropped open as they gaped. Green *was* his color. He shifted under their gaze. "Okay, I look stupid! I know already, you don't have to stare!"

"You look amazing." Dick countered quickly, tugging at his own skirt a little self consciously.

"Amazing," Roy repeated. "I can deal with amazing."

"I'm impressed," Donna admitted. "Now, we've just got to do makeup, and hair, and..."

Monitor duty sucked, Toni thought. Maybe she could find Donna or Garth or *someone* to switch with her. After all, she reasoned, if she was too bored to pay attention to the monitor, then she shouldn't be the one on duty. Not to mention, that it wasn't even her turn. It was Nightwing's shift, but he had switched off for some reason or another. It wasn't fair that Big Bad Leader got to cop out whenever a "case" came up. Please, he was probably being fed cake in bed or something.

Toni sighed. Responsibility truly sucked. She wandered through the tower aimlessly. Just because she had to pull duty didn't mean she had to show up early. Besides, she could get lucky and maybe run into someone who'd take over her shift. When Grant had been a Titan, he'd taken every shift she offered to him. Those were the days.

Instead of switching off, she found a bunch of busy people. Garth was in the communications room, something was up and he left in a huff. Vic was in the lab consulting with who-knows-where! Arsenal wasn't at the range, which meant he was probably hitting the bars, or hitting some ass, and even Donna was a ghost. The only person Toni happened upon was Lian, who was busy twirling about the kitchen.

Toni wandered over to the cupboards, hoping to scrounge up some sugar-coated cereal. Sugar would be energy food for tonight's boring events. "Hey Li," she said without actually *looking* at the young girl.

Which was a very good thing because somehow Lian had gotten the boas to stay in a makeshift toga sort of way. Ah, the wonders of tape! Lian smiled up at Toni who was still busy rummaging through the cupboards. The little girl tugged on Toni's pants leg. "Could you get me some milk... please?"

"Sure kid." Toni snagged a cocoa cereal and set it on the counter. She opened the fridge and pulled the milk out. "Here you go," she held it out for the young girl, finally looking down at her. Or at least what she thought was Lian, considering the little girl looked like some strange sick exotic bird. Roy was spoiling her again, Toni thought as she looked at the boas. Those things cost fifty dollars apiece.

Toni turned back to her cereal and reached for a bowl. She stopped, her hand halfway up the cabinet. She looked back at Lian and managed to only make squeaking noises.

"Are you okay?" Lian asked concerned.

But Toni only made more inarticulate screeching noises and gestured wildly to Lian. Until she finally was able to gasp out, "My boas!"

"They're pretty aren't they?" Lian said with a smile, but Toni didn't smile back, so Lian frowned as well. "Daddy let me play with them."

That stopped Toni's screeching, because horror had now transformed to full-blown rage.

"ROY!!!!!!"

Toni ran out the kitchen door and down the hallway, then skidded to a stop. She didn't know where Roy was! She couldn't kill him if she couldn't find him. So after racing back to the kitchen and questioning Lian, Toni was off again, screaming down the hallway to Roy's room.

She pounded on the door. "Roy Harper! Open your door this damn minute! You stealing...stealing jerk!"

But the door stayed shut. So, Toni banged louder and did so for a good five minutes while she tried to think of more outraged words. She knocked until she got tired, and tried the door handle. It was unlocked. She flung the door open to find— an empty room.

"Son of a bi—" she turned and raced back down the hall.

All that work for a fricking empty room. Like sequined dresses could feel her wrath and make-up kits could know her anger. Toni stopped in her tracks. Make-up kits and sequined dresses? And why had Roy had her boas in the first place?

That's it. She needed help. She needed someone else's opinion on the makeup. She raced into the main room and collided with a... standing still Wally West, of all things.

"Ulf." Toni landed on her butt. Looking annoyed she growled out, even as Wally extended his hand to help her up, "What? Did the JLA kick you out or something?"

"Batman sent me over for files."

Toni stood up, brushing her backside off. She studied Wally for a moment. Yes, perhaps Wally *would* do. He could explain the makeup. He'd known Harper for years. "That can wait! I need your help," Toni said and tried dragging Flash towards Roy's bedroom. However, being the speedster that he was, he stayed rooted to the spot.

"Pllllllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaassssse!" she pleaded.

"No way! The last time I went in his room, I stepped on day old Pizza. I ran back to Keystone with a tomato sauce trail. Linda was not happy. Tomato sauce stains y'know."

"But there's sequins! And foundation!"

"Then I’m definitely not going inside!"

"Wally," she whined. But Wally shook his head. He was not going to get involved. He wasn't. "Pleeeeeeassse," Toni beseeched.

Garth walked into the room, pushing his hair back. He heard Toni's plea and glanced back and forth at them. "What's going on?"

Toni huffed indignant. "Wally's too much of a wuss to look at the foundation in Roy's room."

Garth frowned at Toni, then at Wally. Then his face scrunched up in confusion. "What?"

Toni sighed heavily. She stormed off to Roy's room, the two men on her heels. She stopped in front of the open doorway and with a sweeping motion gestured to the room. She moved aside to let them see.

Garth cautiously stepped inside, all to aware of the horror Roy's room was normally. The bed was a mess of sheets (with lipstick stains on them. Typical.), and sequined dresses. Which wasn't typical. Not at all.

Wally, not wanting to seem like a wuss, peered in after Garth. And he saw the makeup scattered across the dresser top. Wally finally tore his eyes away from the sight and exchanged looks with Garth.

Garth murmured an "Mm-hmm." Wally nodded in total agreement. Toni watched eagerly as the two men consulted. She waited breathless until Garth nodded once more, definitively. When neither said anything, she prodded. "Well?"

Garth turned to Wally. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Wally nodded. Garth, then turned to Toni. "It's agreed. We're not getting involved."

Wally turned to her and smiled. "And we so don't want to know. So... later!"

Toni watched dumbstruck as they walked away. She bit her lip, barely managing not to pout. Then, she arched an eyebrow. Evilly.

She shouted out, "JESSE! You've got to see this!" and went tearing down the hallway once more.

Donna Troy's eyes flickered from the road to the map and then back again. After all, it would be far too easy for Dick, who was riding shotgun, to give her directions. The passenger side mirror was flipped down and Dick was too busy playing with his wig.

"Donna," Roy mumbled from the backseat of 'wing's muscle car, "shoes suck. Okay?"

He grunted again and watched as Donna shook her head and changed lanes seamlessly. "Why did I have to wear the hells?" Roy muttered again from the backseat. His voice grew louder in tone in an effort to get a response. "How come Robbie got to wear the platforms and I got the frickin' stilettos?"

Donna sighed and drummed her nails against the steering wheel as she waited for the traffic lights to change. "They don't make platforms in your size, Roy. You wear bigger shoes than Dick does."

Dick turned around in his chair and looked at Roy's green shoes. "Besides," he added, "those aren't stilettos. They're barely two inches!"

"Oh shut up," Roy grumbled. He turned his attention back to his shoes. These were very complicated things. Roy kicked the back of Dick's seat, mostly accidentally, as he fiddled with the straps again. That one crossed there, and then went under here, and then it looked like wrapped around the back and-- this was useless!

"Shoes suck," he reiterated.

"So you've said," Donna responded, too busy weaving throughout traffic.

"Just wanted to make sure we were clear."

"We're clear Roy," Donna said in her motherly tone, which told Roy she wasn't really listening at all.

His eyes squinted and he went back to headache that was high heels. Eventually, he managed to get the left shoe on. "Got one!" he whooped and grinned at Donna.

Donna's eyes flickered back to the directions. Was she supposed to take a left at the lights or after the lights? She pushed the brim of her hat up as she raised her head to find street signs. "I'm proud of you Roy," she responded. Maybe it was the left she just passed. "My little man is all grown up."

Roy glared at her. "Gee. Thanks." The archer would have said more but instead went back to fight with the right shoe. Dick laughed in amusement as he watched Roy through the mirror.

Dick looked at his reflection, then frowned. "Are you guys sure about this purple?"

Roy kicked the back of the seat. Roy versus the shoes. Round two. Ding. "For the last time: YES!"

Smiling to herself in amusement, Donna checked the rear view mirror again. Her attention focused on Roy for a split second, then continued on to the silver car that was hugging her tail. She glared at it, then turned her attention back to the mirror to adore her fedora. "I like this hat thing. I really don't understand why you guys don't wear them anymore."

"If we went out in that hat today, we'd regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of our lives," Roy retorted in his best Bogart impression.

Donna looked back at him confused. Dick explained, "That's his way of saying they went out of style with Casablanca."

Donna shook her head. "They went out with the Beatles actually."

"See," Dick said still examining his lipstick, "I was always partial to Indiana Jones."

"Because of the whip or the fedora?" Donna wiggled her eyebrows.

"The whip is all Bruce's kitty-cat kink."

"Yeah," Roy supported. "Dick's more partial to the half open shirt thing."

Dick caught his boyfriend's eye in the mirror and grinned. "Or no shirt at all."

"I'm good with that approach," Roy concurred easily.

Rolling her eyes, Donna simply shook her head and turned her attention back to the road. Now it was a right onto West Main Street, or was that a left onto East Main Street? The silver Mercedes had dropped out of sight and Donna didn't give it another thought. She adjusted her tie and glanced once more at the map on her lap. "We should be there anytime now. Do you have both of your shoes on Roy?"

"Just about — I — give me a minute — damnit! — ow! — Yes! — Yes, I do!"

"Good boy." Dick adjusted the scarf around his neck in the mirror, making sure the knot was over to the side. Then he checked his wig again. It was annoying him. It wasn't long, about shoulder length, and it was black, naturally. And it itched. It reminded him of that red wig and mustache he used to wear as a disguise years ago. What the hell had he been thinking?

Of course, then he realized he was about to go into a drag bar, and decided the question was a moot point. He sighed inwardly. If Roy could put up with heels, he could deal with an itchy wig. Even so... this purple lipstick still wasn't working for him.

The club, as Donna had said, turned out to be up the net street. She parallel parked easily and looked at the garish neon sign. Classy. Sure. Her eyes darted to her two friends. They were definitely going to be getting into more than they could handle.

Weren't they?

Toni ducked down in front seat of Jesse's Mercedes. "They didn't see us did they?" Jesse shook her head. "Good," Toni said sitting upright again. "Why the hell were you driving that close anyways?"

"And how else was I supposed to follow them Toni?" Jesse hissed in return. It had taken the two Titans a hard enough time to get to this point in their surveillance. After going through Roy's room for clues, and then failing to find anyone else that would be interested in the gossip, they had realized that Roy must have left.

Jesse had changed into her working clothes and had run about until she had spotted Nightwing's car on the freeway. She then ran back to Toni and the girls had started their unplanned quest. They still had no clue who was in the car. Jesse had seen three people, one red head in the backseat, and the driver's identity hidden behind a shabby looking hat. Hopefully, Roy had simply had company over that needed a change of clothes... but still... three people?

"I dunno," Toni twirled her hair absently, responding to Jesse's accusation. "Use your detective skills or something."

Jesse rubbed her forehead in aggravation. "Detective skills? So I'm supposed to be Nightwing now?" She watched the brown car weave through traffic as if it was trying to deliberately lose her. This had better be worth it, she thought to herself as she made a hard left turn. This night had better be blackmail worthy or at the very least gossip worthy.

Bright lights flickered over Donna's face making her blink as she maneuvered her way into the club. "Nice place," she told them, over the music.

But neither Roy nor Dick were listening to her. They were in the doorway, staring awestruck. You'd think they'd never have been in a place like this before... well at least not in drag. Donna took in the scenery. The performance onstage... well all right. That was a little beyond the norm. It wasn't everyday one saw a group of Drag queens performing, in habits, from The Sound of Music.

"So," she shouted as softly as she could and still be heard over the music, "What's this guy... or girl... or... whoever you're trying to pick up look like?"

"About six foot, light blond hair, not in drag." Dick scanned the room. "He's a patron, comes a lot. Apparently always wears a black, high quality suit. Has a tattoo on his wrist, some "Highlander" homage or something. Goes by the name 'Wilson'. The performers always come sit with him."

"Hey, that reminds me," Roy tugged on Dick's dress strap. "Why are we looking for him again?"

Dick flashed Roy a grin, filled with mirth. "You didn't read the brief I gave you?"

"No, I was too busy getting in your briefs to read it."

Donna snorted. Then, looking a little embarrassed, "I thought you said that you, Dick, were here to 'pick up' someone and that Roy was here to listen in on some conversations?"

"So who," Donna gestured to the array of people, "is Roy supposed to be listening to?"

Dick scanned the crowd. "I'm not sure exactly." He found the person he was looking for. "but I can find out."

"You do that, I'll head to the bar. Just kidding."

Donna shook her head. "Be serious Roy," she admonished. Donna turned back to comment to Dick, but he was already slinking—- Donna blinked, was he slinking?-- away, headed towards the group he had pointed out previously.

"So..." Roy frowned as he watched Dick slink-- yes he was definitely slinking-- away. "What are you going to do why we spy?"

Donna looked at Roy from head to toe. "What am I going to do?" she admonished, feigning hurt. She looked at the bright neon lights. She looked at the garish, yet somehow classy, clientele. Then back at her friend in high heels. "I'm going to give you some credibility while you spy around. Do you know what you look like?"

He arched a dark red eyebrow. "I'm sure I looked more out of place on the reservation Donna. At least I blend in a little around here. Unlike, say, the Cher impersonator." He folded his arms, and smirked slightly. Though the look was slightly marred by the lipstick and eye shadow.

He glanced over to Dick again who seemed to be flirting. Yes. And batting his fake eyelashes, and doing a variety of girlish things. The mark didn't seemed overly amused. Roy frowned. If this was going to take a while, he was going to take a seat. Sitting was definetly on the agenda for tonight. Especially in wanna be stiletto shoes.

Then Dick moved and Roy got a good look at his mark. Who looked familiar. Roy narrowed his eyes. "Donna? Do you know who that is?"

Donna tore her eyes away from the stage. "Of course I don't Roy, I don't exactly frequent this place you-" She stopped talking. She ducked behind Roy and peered around him to get a good look at the mustached man chewing on a toothpick. "Wait..."

"Uh huh." Roy nodded, suddenly feeling very uneasy.

"He wouldn't be here," Donna tried to reason.

"I know he wouldn't. So it couldn't be--"

"You are thinking who I'm thinking aren't you?"

"And that little slut knew!"

Dick, for his part, continued his dangerous flirtation. His mark, however, was none too pleased. Once Donna and Roy realized that this could take a while. They let their eyes roam around the club. In the corner, the tall man with the mustache that Roy and Donna had been scrutinizing, stood. He smiled, his thin mustache moving with the expression, and headed towards them.

Donna tried not to stare, but Roy gaped openly. Who the heck wore plaid in this day and age, he thought. Abruptly, he turned as the man drew closer to him. Roy tried to avoid watching as the man took the seat next to him. He was going to get hit on. He could feel it.

"Nice dress," came the smooth, pseudo-suave voice of Matches Malone. "Green's your color."

Donna, for her part, tried to stifle the snicker. She really did. But it was no use. She only managed to look appropriately apologetic about it.

The two men looked at her. "Sorry," she said, but was still smiling. They glared at her. "Right. I'm going to go now." And she managed to slip away before Roy could grab her jacket and pull her back into her seat. Begrudingly, he looked at Matches. It was just the two of them now.

"Thanks, I guess." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Try and look more comfortable, Roy." Matches leaned forward, his voice deepening to a more Bat-like tone. "You're undercover, you don't want to seem out of place. Or out of the ordinary."

"So what's a guy like you doing in a joint like this," Roy flirted. Matches blinked, but other than that, gave no sign of shock. He'd chosen the right people for this, he was sure now.

Sure, but no less disturbed. He leaned closer to Roy, giving off a sense of intimacy when in actuality he simply needed to speak more softly over the hum of music. "How much has Dick told you?"

"Obviously, not enough," Roy hissed back.

Matches grinned. "Call me if your interested, doll." He slid a slip of paper on the counter. "Oh, and you better tell him, you should... tweak your names, after all..." Matches gestured to the outfit.

Roy grumbled but managed to smile. "Call. I bet." This had better be one hell of a 'phone number.'

Donna saw "Matches" leaving his very personal conversation with Roy. She managed to not laugh. Which was hard but necessary. She had wandered over to watch the stage show, which was actually very good. Once Matches was gone, she slipped back to the table.

Roy was studying a piece of paper in his hands. Donna waited patiently. "Drug ring," he answered her unspoken question. "He said we need new names, any suggestions?"

"So, Matches is inside the drug ring?" Donna asked, and Roy nodded. "Do I want to know how he got involved with a drag drug ring?"

Roy was quite a bit better at holding back laughter than Donna was. but then he'd been dealing with puns quite a lot since he and Dick had begun their relationship. "I don't know. But I will find out. Seriously though, names?"

"Jade?" Donna grinned.

Roy frowned. "Try again."

Donna took a slight step back, to look at her friend completely. Red hair... green dress... green eyes. Hmmm... something convincing and not slutty. Roy would kill her for slutty.

"I've got it!" she giggled happily.

"You giggled," Roy pointed out. "I am so afraid."

Donna frowned. "Y'know I thought drag queens were supposed to try and talk like women," she shot back.

"Yeah, but I'm not a real drag queen--thank God-- I'm a superhero posing as a drag queen. Oh God, that sounds so bad. Donna, kill me now, before anyone can see."

Jesse stood outside the club. She studied the door. She hesitated.

"Oh come on!" Toni yelled and grabbed Jesse's arm. And before Jesse had a chance to utter her speed formula she was inside a drag club.

The hazy smoke filled the air, hanging above the patrons' heads, clearly visible in the colored strobe lights. Toni had stopped, shocked, in the doorway. Jesse came up beside her. This had to be the wrong place. It had to be the wrong place, Jess' musta taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque because there was no way that this could be the-- was that Donna?

"Oh, crap." Toni gaped. "I can't wait to call Damage when we get home."

Jesse's face scrunched up in horror. This was not what she'd expected exactly. though, looking back on the car ride, Jesse couldn't say what she'd expected.

But, thinking back to the boas and dresses... it had been obvious. And she had been, blissfully, in denial. Shame, she thought, I would have brought my camera.

"I'm going to go to the drugstore down the street, you check things out, okay?"

Toni glanced at her in confusion. "What?"

"I have to get a camera."

"Oh, forget the camera! Let's just find them!" And Toni dragged Jesse right into the middle of the place, leaving them to gape at garish sequins, and tell tale adam's apples. Jesse whirled around to look for Donna, who had disappeared. More people in drag moved around them, getting tables, getting drinks, giving the two annoyed looks for their lack of nice attire and the fact they were standing in the middle of traffic.

Where everyone walked and could see them.

Matches saw them first. This had just gotten a lot more complicated. Toni bumped into a thick plaid colored chest. She looked up at a mustached man chewing on a toothpick. "Can I help you girls?"

Toni waved him off. "No, I don't think so we're just looking for some friends."

"Definitely something you can't help with," Jesse added.

"I somehow doubt that you have any friends here," The mustached man looked amused, a quiet smirk on his face. But his eyes told a different story. He was definitely not pleased to see them. Jesse opened her mouth to question the man when Toni squealed.

"Oh my god. Look at Roy" Toni gestured to a redhead in a green Asian dress.

"Why don't you dolls let me buy you a drink." Matches eyes narrowed, ever so slightly. "In fact, I insist." He looped his arms around there and directed them over to a dark corner of the club. He and Dick were going to have to re-discuss the meaning of subterfuge.

Dick was flirting with his mark, as directed. And he was actually making some head way. the guy apparently had a thing for dark haired men dressed as women in lycra. Dick was fully assimilated into his role as Lila, and he was hoping that Roy would get his butt in gear soon.

Which was when he saw Toni and Jesse. Having a drink with Batman.

He choked on his drink and barely avoided spitting it out over the guy. The man looked at him more quixotically than concerned.

"You okay baby?"

"Just... a little bit too strong for me."

The man grabbed a waiter as he walked by. "Hey. My babe wants something weaker."

The waiter looked at Dick and then nodded. "Any preferences?"

Dick opened his mouth to say "beer" but changed his mind. He was a "lady." He'd have to think of something else. And then he'd have to do something before Bruce killed Toni and Jesse.

And if he screwed this up, Bruce would kill him next. And then Roy would kill him, for making him come. And Donna would kill him... Donna! That was it. What was the drink she always ordered? It was pink... "Cosmo..." something. Damn it.

The waiter smiled at him, and finished his sentence for him. "Cosmopolitan coming up!"

"You like pink?" the mark smiled. "I bet pink would look real nice on you."

Dick smiled. He'd thought so too before he'd tried it on.

"I bet anything subtle would look good on you."

"Nah..." Dick tried to be coy.

"So darling, this is the first time I've seen you here."

"You come here often?" Dick managed to flutter his short eyelashes slightly.

The mark shrugged with a slight grin. "I'll be coming here more often if I know I'll find you." Abruptly, the man caught the gaze of another patron across the bar. He nodded discreetly to him, and started to get up, shifting Dick from his lap. "Excuse me a moment."

Dick, taking the quick opportunity sized up the other man, then started scouting around for Roy or Donna.

They were sitting at the same table, talking with another waiter. Dick sighed. Those two never wanted to work. He got up from the table and walked over to them.

He got there just in time to hear Roy say, in a soft actually feminine voice "...and he'll take a Guinness," as Roy gestured to Donna. "Isn't that right, Don?"

Dick waited until the waiter left. He couldn't disappear for long, especially not if the mark was going to be watching for him. "Roy, listen up, the guy at four o'clock, long blonde hair. Him. Donna, we've got a problem, you need to run interference: Toni and Jesse are here."

"You're kidding, right?" Donna scanned the room until her eyes rested on the two junior Titans. "Oh crap."

Roy, not wanting to even think about Toni seeing him in a dress, looked at the blond guy. "Well this should be interesting," he muttered under his breath as he got up to do his job.

He walked across the small expanse of the club muttering all the way. "And the next time Dick thinks I'm going to clean the apartment... he owes me for this. Only him, you'd think he could come up with a more interesting gig." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Toni squimring uncomfortably. "He so owes me for this."

As Roy rapidly approached the blond. He suddenly realized one thing. He had no clue how he was going to make this discreet.

"Oh my lord. *That* is a fabulous dress!"

Roy turned and found himself face to face with an exquisitely dressed, very tall, Drag Queen. One who put his facade to shame. Roy stuttered "Thank you," in response.

"No problem honey!" The man...woman cheerfully exclaimed. "I just call 'em as I see 'em. And you can wear green like no one else. Those eyes."

Roy ducked his head slightly, his cheeks flaming. "Thanks."

"Come and have a drink with me honey," The Drag Queen demanded. "I want to talk fashion with you, because you have wonderful taste." And "she" dragged Roy to the table next to the blond man.

So Roy was pretty much set. He'd nod and smile and be polite and wait until he saw someone sit with the guy. Then he'd nod and smile and listen to that conversation.

Fashion. Ugh.

Which left only Donna with her task of babysitting.

Donna waltzed up the girls, a smile plastered on her face. Better to look cheerful and non-threatening. they wouldn't know to run until it was too late. Matches saw her coming, made some kind of excuse, and left the girls to Donna. though not without first giving Donna a "fix it" look.

Which was actually kind of funny with that mustache.

"Toni. Jesse. I never would have thought this was your scene."

Toni harumped. "I could say the same of you. And Roy!!!!"

Donna sighed. This was going to take a looooooot of work.

"So, come here often?" Jesse smirked at Donna.

Donna frowned. Because, honestly, Jesse was a little too snide about that. "Actually... I do."

Toni and Jesse froze. Then Toni squeaked "What about Dick and Roy?"

"Girls," Donna looked at them pityingly. "They're gay. They practically live here."

Toni and Jesse gaped. The strange squeaking noise started coming from Toni's mouth again, until Jesse hit her. "She's kidding." The blonde stole a quick glance at Donna. "Right?" she prompted ever so hopeful.

Donna smiled enigmatically.

"But it makes perfect sense!" Toni cried.

Jesse hung her head. "Toni. You are so gullible. Honestly!"

"So, they're not here?" Toni asked. "But I saw 'Wing's car."

"Oh, they're here," Jesse said with a mischievious look. "Aren't they Donna."

Donna nodded. "They're here. On business. So if you plan on being here, you'll have to--"

"Oh my God!" Toni broke in as an incredible Judy Garland impersonator got on stage. "I went to school with him!"

"--keep a low profile." Donna muttered her hands now covering her face.

"He was so gorgeous," Toni whispered.

Jesse eyes the drag queen on stage in his "Dorothy" clothes. "Sure he was."

"Though he did ask me about make-up a few times," she tilted her head thoughtfully.

Donna cleared her throat, quite loudly.

"What?" Toni asked spinning back around.

"Girls!" A man wearing a wide open pink shirt, a gray leaisure suit, and overly large gold chains walked up to them. "That is not appropriate attire! Didn't your agency tell you about the dress clothes?"

"Agency?" Toni looked a little disturbed by the man's outfit.

"Your temp agency, silly." The man grinned widely, flashing his bright white teeth. "You're the waitresses, yes?"

"Of course they are," Donna interjected. "They were just running late."

The man eyed Donna skeptically, but when his gaze rested on her fedora, he shrugged slightly indicating that he thought she obvious was a patron and not a waitress. He turned to the other women, and waved a pudgy finger at them. "Staff room. Now."

Toni looked at the man, the direction he was pointing, her highschool friend on stage, and then at Donna. If not for Donna she would have gone home. As it was Jesse and Toni went nervously into the back.

Dick watched as his friend went deeper into the club. He scanned around the room looking for Matches with one thought on his mind: Bruce is going to kill me, and I won't even be in my own underwear.

He saw Roy in a corner booth, chatting with a Darg Queen while listening, subtley, to the man in the nest booth. At least Roy was doing his job. And looking strangely attractive still.

And Donna was waving goodbye to Toni and Jesse. Who were going into the back. Dick decided that he didn't want to know. But he was tempted. Oh, so tempted.

Finally his eyes lit upon Matches, atnding by the bar. His head bowed as he spoke to the bartender. Who was one of his contacts, Dick would wager.

It was time for a drink refill, Dick decided. "Don't be too long Sweetheart." The man winked as he slapped Dick on the butt.

Across the bar, Roy glared. That was private property, thank you.

"Something wrong, Honey?" Roy's "friend" asked. He/she followed Roy's line of sight and looked Dick up and down. "That's quite a body. Not the best dresser though."

"Hey!" Roy retorted, instantly on the defensive. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing." Roy's drinking partner, Opal, raised her hands, indicating she'd meant no harm. "I just thought blue would look better."

Roy grunted in reply.

"Out of curiosity," Opal stirred her drink. "If she's your boyfriend, then why is she sitting with that man, and flirting with that other one?"

"She's not... I mean, he's not... flriting... I mean, my boyfriend... I mean.... I don't know what I mean."

Opal chuckled in response. It was far from dainty.

"So you don't know what you are, huh? I hate it when that happens."

"I know what we are." Roy reached for his drink.

"Certainly sounds like it."

Roy took a sip of his drinking, giving the person across the table a patent pending Roy Harper frown. Opal's face held amusement, even more so at his scowl, and she tittered again and grasped his hand.

"It's okay honey," she said casually with a grin. "I understand."

"Oh I doubt it," Roy muttered under his breath.

"If you want to make her yours then you're going to have to fight for her." Opal grinned slyly.

"I don't need to fight for her, thank you, we're good all around." He sipped his beer trying to avoid Opal's critical stare. "Really?"

"To each his own then sweetie. But enough jabbering, you're supposed to be listening remember?"

Roy froze. He looked Opal in the face. "What did you just say?"

Opal arched an eyebrow in response. "You were spying on the people behind us. Weren't you?"

"Who are you?" Roy demanded in a harsh, low voice.

"Chill boyo, your friend said you needed some help. I'm doing him a favor."

"Friend? Which one?"

Opal smiled in amusement. "Don't you know?"

Roy followed Opal's gaze over to "Matches." This night just kept getting more odd.

"So, when are the shipments arriving Lou?" the man that Roy was supposed to be listening to asked. Roy angles his head to hear better. And Opal just smiled.

"It's a shame really," she drawled. "Men like you are really hard to come by." She took a sip of her drink and leaned over the table. "The guy he's talking with is Stevie, he's a regular patron."

Roy nodded, listening intently, and wondering why Batman even needed his help to begin with.

"Stevie makes regular deliveries to Lou in the back." Opal leaned forward to sip her martini. "Stevies been known to take some of the newer "ladies" into the back. For tryouts."

Roy looked over at Opal. "Oh no. No. No." Opal smirked and Roy shook his head emphatically. "I'm not going to go into the back with 'Stevie'."

"Not if you don't start talking in a more feminine tone, true."

"Why can't you do it, if you're already, y'know, here?"

Opal flipped back her hair. "Because my dear," she cocked her head to the stage, "I am a headliner."

Roy quirked his mouth to the corner. "You sing. With that voice. Yeah. Okay."

"I'm not an alto or anything..." Opal glared. She'd been offended, very offended. Offended enough to get up from the table, take her drink, flip her hair back, and leave a Roy trying to utter apologies. As she strode across the room, her eyes caught with Matches. She shrugged and rolled her eyes. Matches smiled amused.

Roy leaned back in the booth. "Damnit."

"Okay, see you later Lou!" Stevie walked away from the table. He stopped at Roy's. "Well hello."

Roy looked up. He plastered a smile -that he hoped was flirtatious- on his face. "Hi," He replied in his softest, most feminine voice. Dick owed him so damn much he'd been paying six months after the damn fine was dead. Roy would make sure of it.

"I'm not wearing this."

"Toni..." Jesse sighed.

"It's ugly."

Jesse hung her head. This was nothing like she had planned. She had wanted to stop by, not stay at the tower, race home, do her nails, avoid her mother, maybe call a few friends. Granted, the blackmail and the gossip was worth it. She just wished... hell at this point she woulda given anything for Toni to shut up and put on the waitress outfit.

"I mean seriously!"

"Toni, it's a suit." Jesse growled. "It might look cute if you gave it a chance. You saw Donna? She looked nice in hers."

"Hers was cool. This is ugly."

"I'm wearing one too. It's not like Donna's, and I'm fine with it."

Toni pouted. "Yours is blue."

"Yours is black," Jesse replied, a little exasperated. "Black is a perfectly fine color in suits.

"If you're going to a funeral," Toni grumped.

"If I get you a red tie, will that make things all better?" Jesse hoped.

"I'll look like a politician!" Toni objected. "However, if we were to somehow acquire a silver tie, that would be a whole 'nother story."

Toni jumped as the door rattled on its hinges. There was another knock and then a rough voice called. "Getta move on girls, da customers are waiting. They haven't got all night doll faces!"

Jesse dug through the closet as quickly as she could. And given the speed formula she muttered under her breath, it was pretty damn fast.

So the only thing that Toni really knew was that she suddenly had a silver tie. A really hot silver tie. She looked in the mirror, examining from all angles. "Damn, I look good." She threw a glance to her companion. "Betcha I get more tips!"

"You're on girlfriend."

More banging. "Move it, means get your asses out here dolls!"

They scrambled out of the dressing room and back into the land of Cross-Dressing. Women and men were hustling about, in clothing that just didn't fit Jesse's version of normal. But normal hadn't applied so well for a while now. Jesse was handed a tray and sent over to one table. Toni to another.

And damnit, Toni was already getting tips.

For the second time, Dick nearly choked on his drink. God, how he wished he had a camera. He shifted in the short black dress. On second thought, the less reminders of this event, the better.

Jesse dropped off two martinis to a couple (or at least she thought they were a couple) and walked back to the bar. On her way she passed a table. And someone at the table growled at her. In a non-threatening way.

"Where you off to in such a rush dearie? Come over here," a brunnette waved her to a table. "We want to order."

Jesse halted, her back to the table. She adjusted her tie, hoped for the best, and turned around. "How can I ..." she trailed off, her eyes wide. "Mom?" she sputtered out, she was ready to pass out. She was... she was...

"I thought it was Jesse." Her mother wagged a finger at her.

Jesse took a few deep even breaths. "What are you doing here?" she managed to squeak out.

"I'm about to order a bloody mary, dear," her mother replied, casually and collected as usual.

"Okay." Jesse brushed a lock of golden hair out her face and sighed.

"Well?" Her mother folded her arms. "What are you waiting for?"

"Um..."

"Go put the order in."

"Um... all right." And Jesse walked away feeling very uncomfortable and confused.

She walked up to the bar. Ordered the drink. Decided that she must be in the Twilight Zone.

Toni raced up to the bar. "Four martinis; two with olives, two with onions, and a strawberry margarita." She waited for the drinks and looked at Jesse. "This is so much fun," she elbowed Jesse.

Jesse frowned. Fun. Right. Sure. She debated on whether seeing her teammates in drag was worth seeing her mother at a drag club, and she wasn't sure what the answer was.

Jesse pulled Toni closer to her. "Can you do me a favor? See those people in the corner? Can you bring them their drinks?"

Toni looked at the table. She tilted her head thoughtfully. Then she blinked and shook her head. She looked again and her eyes got wide. "Jesse," she said with quiet surprise, "isn't that your mom?"

Jesse groaned and simply walked away. "Their order is up. You know you want to bring it over."

"Well... if maybe..."

"What?"

"You give me half your tips."

"What?"

"You heard me." Toni folded her arms challengingly.

"Toni!" Jesse threw her hands up in the air. "You're already getting twice as many tips as I am!"

"You're rich. You don't need the tips."

Jesse stammered incoherently at the unfairness of it all. Then again, she reflected, she was being forced to wait on tables, while her teammates dressed in drag and her mother ordered martinis; life had to hate her.

"Fine," she huffed at the younger girl, "just go serve them."

Toni grabbed the tray and headed off to the table. Jesse grumbled things under her breath about ingrates and rip-offs.

Someone coughed next to her and Jesse turned to see a gorgeous man. In a suit. "Hey," he smiled at her and his teeth were pretty damn white. "Do you know if that girl you work with is interested in guys?"

Jesse gaped, but the man didn't notice.

"What's her name?" he prompted.

"Toni," was her automatic response.

"Oh," and the man turned away discouraged.

"She's single," Jesse quickly countered.

The man looked up, hopeful. "Is she a cross dresser or a lesbian?"

"She's a waitress."

"She is a *she* right?"

Jesse stared. "Yes, why wouldn't she-- She's... normal... white skin aside."

"Nah, that's a turn on."

Jesse shut her mouth. All right then.

Toni bounced up. "Your mom didn't give me a tip and told me to tell you to csll her tomorrow."

"Fat chance."

Toni flipped her hair back. "You think you'd be a tiny bit more polite."

"Exactly," the young man said interjecting, "you haven't even introduced us."

Toni looked at the attractive man. Her eyes lit up and she smiled her most brilliant smile, her teeth as white as her skin.

"Toni, this is...." Jesse trailed off as Toni began flirting with the man. "a guy whose name I don't know."

Jesse shook her head and wandered off. She passed Dick squirming in another man's lap without so much as a head turn or gawk. This just wasn't any fun anymore.

She walked into the back, intent on taking her suit off and heading home. Toni would be able to get a ride from the guy at the bar, no doubt. She heard whispering as she headed back to the changing area, but she didn't pay much attention. Probably someone making out, or changing into a dress. Or something.

What Jesse did not expect to find in the dressing room was a guy being held at gunpoint.

At least she thought it was a guy. Irritated, she pushed the entire cross dressing train of thought out of her head and went into action.

Whispering the speed formula under her breath Jesse raced across the room. She ripped the gun out of the man's hand and used several feathered boas to tie him to a nearby chair. She then used several multicolored velvet scarves to tie his legs to the chair legs.

She then turned to check if the victim was okay, the words on the tip of her tongue, but he fainted instead.

Typical.

"What the hell do you think you're doing lady?" The chair-bound man shouted.

That gave Jesse pause. It was a drag club, not a fetish scene. She decided she was in the right and retorted back. "What exactly did you think you were doing?"

"What do you think you're doing?" a new voice broke in. "Damnit Doll, I'm gonna have world with that Temp service. Get yer ass in gear." And all this was said before he caught site of the man tied up in the chair. "Ah doll. I'm sorry you had to see this." He pulled a gun from inside his coat pocket. "It's gonna be a mess takin' care o' yer body."

Donna slid up to the bar. She wrapped on the smooth surface for the bartender's attention. Her eyes flittered over the man next to her. The small moustache and the guady patch coat. She made eye contact and smiled. He returned it easily.

"Got a light?" she asked.

Matches reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He waited for the woman to produce a cigarette or what have you. Donna merely smiled again. "I don't smoke."

"Then why ask?"

"To see if you could show me some glow."