Part Uno: The Quest
Another cheesy sitcom-slash-drama from the late 80s had made its arrival known. The catchy theme music and song (to which no one remembered the words) was unmistakable. It was between this picturesque show filled with saccharine goodness or an import seizure-inducing cartoon that Superboy was forced to chose from. A lose-lose situation if he ever saw one. Thank God, it was over now. A half hour of sympathetic "aw!"s was more than the young hero could stand.
These types of shows were always the same. Yelled at your father? Apologize and give him a hug. Teased your sister? Apologize and hug her. Trouble in school? Swear you'll never do it and apologize. Oh yeah, don't forget the hug either. The perfect house, white picket fence, neighborhood, blah, blah, and blah. The perfect family. It was nauseating.
Kon sighed in relief mere seconds before the theme music started again. He scowled at the television. It was a conspiracy, or at very least, a marathon. Superboy clicked off the set.
Who knew Alabama could be so boring?
When Kon-El had decided to come down on the spur of the moment to visit and 'hang', he'd expected a little bit of excitement. Instead, he had to make the best of trees, and crops, and rednecks. Suffice to say, it was not the picture that Superboy had painted in his mind. Especially not when his teammate, Impulse, would come to Young Justice meetings and talk about buxom blondes, evil clones, green tobacco, and time travelers.
They must only come out on weekdays, Kon decided. It seemed the only logical explanation. Since, there was no evil to thwart and nowhere to go, Kon had been reduced to sitting in Bart Allen's house at 322 Maple Street playing video games and watching reruns. There were only so many hours of mindless entertainment one could sustain before restlessness set in. After all, a superhero could not survive on gaming systems alone.
Ironically, boredom did not seem to have struck Bart yet. He was currently engaged in blasting pixilated monsters on yet another set in the same room. Beside him, Dox, his Terrier watched the screen with intent interest. Kon clicked off that television too. He'd been in Manchester, doing nothing for-- he looked at the clock-- way too long, he decided.
Bart grabbed the remote control and turned it back on. It had only been a second, which might be just enough time to recover if the screen would just focus so he could... too late. The words 'Game Over' greeted the young speedster once the picture returned. Damn, and that had been a challenging game too. It had taken all of five minutes to make it up to the final level. There was after all a perk to being the descendant of the original Flash, and using super speed to play games, was right up Bart's alley.
Bart tossed the controller on the floor, turned off the power to the game system and then the television. Bart turned his head to look at Kon, who was now sitting with his head back and eyes shut savoring the silence. Bart hopped onto the couch beside his friend. "What did you do that for?" he asked.
Kon yawned and pointed to the clock, or what he assumed was the general vicinity of the clock. With his eyes still closed, he spoke, "You've been playing vid games since noon." Bart waited patiently for the point. It was only three o'clock now; it hadn't been long at all. Kon continued, "Do you have any idea how boring it is to watch you play video games since noon?"
"You were watching TV though." Bart gestured to the second screen. He turned on the power for emphasis.
Kon opened his eyes as the theme music faded away segueing into a commercial. He crossed his arms with a harrumph. "Your point?"
Bart paused, thoughtful. "You had something to do."
Kon shook his head and stood up and stretched. His gaze fell to the window, and he decided to suggest that they blow this popsicle stand. However, the show had come back from the commercial break and Bart was sitting in front of it, watching intently.
"I haven't seen this one yet," Bart proclaimed.
Kon sighed and grabbed the remote control. He clicked the off button. If television could go on, then television could go off. Bart hit the manual power button and the television was resurrected. Kon snapped it off again. All the while the dog's head jerked back and forth from person to person waiting to see who would win. It continued that way a few more times before Bart turned around, "Do you have something personal against this TV? Cause I can turn on the other one."
"It's not the television. How can you like that show?"
"It's a good show."
"But it's not realistic. It's filled with hugs and dogs and... fences. It's fake!"
"Fences aren't fake, there's a few right outside. Neither are hugs, and *what* is your problem with dogs? Did one steal your superhero name or something?"
On cue, Bart's little Terrier whined and padded out of the room. Bart looked at the tiny retreating form. "See what you did?"
"What are you talking about?" Kon started to pace in the area between Bart and the television. "TV hugs aren't fake, they're just scripted. Just like the families are cast. They're perfect families, but they never exist in real life."
Bart jumped on the defense. "How do you know?"
"Have you ever seen one?"
Bart skirted around the question. "That doesn't mean that it doesn't exist."
"Have you *ever* seen one?" Kon reiterated, continuing the challenge.
Bart hopped up. "Bet I can find one!"
"You're on, man. So where do we start?"
Part The Second: Teammates
All things start at home. If not the home, then the neighborhood. If not the neighborhood, then... you get the idea. Which perfectly explained why Kon and Bart were walking along the Manchester city streets. Home was a bust. Clones and displaced teens from the 30th century do not the perfect family make. So the duo had to look elsewhere to continue their quest.
They had decided to start with Bart's friends and there was no easier way to find them on a Saturday afternoon than the Manchester Mall. It was buy two get one free ice cream day. It only happened once a month, a very rare occurrence indeed. It had started out as a gimmick but quickly became a town favorite for kids and parents alike so much so that the franchise owner had no choice but to keep the special or face violent reparations.
The streets were empty and the two boys strolled along at a normal pace. Besides, the walk was giving them time to examine friends and their family situation.
"Okay, what about Anita?" Bart looked around to make sure no one was looking. "You know," he whispered conspiratorially, "Empress?"
"She told Lobo her history and then for some stupid reason he decided to tell me all about it. Wait, I remember, it was after you hypnotized him. Anyway, long story short: her mom's not alive. What about Cissie?"
"No dad. Crazy mother, but you knew that. Max had her committed. Cassie?"
"Has a mom. No idea about the dad. She's never talked about one. Suzie? Never mind, she can't even remember her own name. Besides, anybody that has a super villain for a brother can not fall into the normal family standard."
"Makes sense," Bart agreed. "What about Rob?"
"Dude, his dad's Batman. There's no way in hell you can pass that off as normal."
"Okay, you definitely have a point. We did the JLA already right?"
"Yep," Kon asserted.
"Titans?"
"Yep."
"Did we run out of superheroes?"
"Yep."
"There's the mall anyways."
Kon looked to where Bart was pointing. "Remind me again why you insist we speak with all your friends? You don't know about their families?"
"Well, I know about some of them. But I never really asked Rolly, or Ayana, or—"
"Sorry I asked. But you know you will have to buy me ice cream for this?"
"Come again?"
"For hiding my secret super self."
"But it's Max that wants me to have a secre—"
"But it's your responsibility."
Bart scowled. "Fine but no sprinkles. Those cost extra. And you have to come up with your own secret identity name."
Ice Cream Interlude
"Bond. James Bond," Kon said smoothly as he lifted Ayana's hand to kiss it. The African-American girl flushed slightly partly amused and partly charmed. Bart's friend had potential, she thought. Whereas Bart was cute, his friend was definitely hot, even if it was in that clean cut all American way. Still, she wasn't sure if he could compete. After all, Bart was one of-- if not the--most popular kid in the school. That kind of popularity was hard to come by.
Kon ignored Bart's glare beside him, but he couldn't ignore it when Bart elbowed him in the ribs.
Bart and Kon had met up with Ayana and Carol near the food court and Bart had started the first of many introductions.
Ayana was wearing her usual hip huggers and a T shirt which exclaimed "Flirt!" which almost suited her personality, if she hadn't been still a little bit shy that is. Her curly hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Carol was a contrast in fashion. Her long cotton skirt was a drab blue which matched a slightly darker top. Her long, limp hair was down as always but slightly brushed to the side by her glasses. Both carried department store bags filled with Nautica clothes. It was obvious: they'd been shopping for a while.
Ayana regained her composure as Kon let her hand go. Definite potential, she thought again. "Cute," Ayana smiled in response to his gallantry, "but what's your real name?"
"Allen!" A voice shouted from a few yards down and the foursome turned their hands in that direction. "What's up man?" The four boys walked over and by no time, the groups had to combined and were effectively blocking one side of the mall walkway.
"Hey guys," Bart waved. "I'd like you to meet a friend." He turned to Kon and started to make introductions *again*. Sigh, secret identities sucked.
"This is Wade." Bart motioned to a shorter blond kid. Wade waved and fixed his glasses in a nervous motion which he constantly seemed to do. "Hey what's up?" the boy said as a greeting.
"This is Rolly." Kon looked at the other kid, he was a bit on the husky side and with his baseball cap turned backwards he looked like a character from Fat Albert's gang. "Hey," Rolly said in acknowledgement.
"Mike." The taller kid with the brown hair didn't say anything. Rather, he nodded in acknowledgement and gave a slight wave.
"And Preston."
"Hi," the blond kid greeted. Kon was finally glad to fit a face to a name of one of many random Bart stories.
"And you've already met Ayana and Carol." Bart turned to address the group at large. "This is another friend of mine from Youngsville."
"Don't you mean Youngstown?" Carol said covering smoothly.
"Yeah." Bart frowned. "That's what I said."
Bart's other friends didn't even bother to shrug. They knew Allen sometimes spazzed out and got all weird. Times like that, it was like he was in his own private world. They were used to it, besides, despite that personally quirk there was nothing Allen couldn't do. That's what made him so cool.
"So does your friend have a name?" Rolly asked.
Bart frowned again. "I was getting to that." Then Bart realized, he had said he wasn't going to be responsible for this part. Darn. Now he was responsible. How did that happen, he wondered.
"It's Jim," Kon lied smoothly. "Jim Harper." And may Guardian never find out about this, he added mentally.
Bart jammed his hands in his jean pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet. "So what are you guys up to?" The hard part of the intros were done and he was more than happy to change topics.
Preston proudly held up a silver foil bag from the "Space Station" as Wade explained. "Pres just bought the newest Afterlife Avenger and Rolly put a deposit on the new Blastomatic coming out next month. What about you guys?"
"We just got here."
"Us girls," Ayana interjected while batting her eyelashes, "were just about to get something to eat. Are you guys hungry?"
"Sure."
Carol nodded. "We'll meet up in the usual spot. I just have to show Bart this great shirt in A. E."
"Okay," Bart answered a tiny bit bewildered. He didn't do anything wrong this time – at least he didn't think he had. He mutely followed Carol into the store and trailed behind her until she stopped in an empty corner.
"*Youngstown* huh?" Carol asked. "So which one is this?"
Bart looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening. When he had eased his paranoia, he opted for non verbal communication. Quickly, he drew an 'S' in the air.
"Shucks. I mean cool," Carol recovered. "I didn't even know he had a secret id."
"He doesn't."
"I'm confused."
"He's got a Kryptonian name. I have no idea where he got that one. Hey where's this shirt you wanted to show me?"
"There was no shirt."
"Now I’m confused."
"Don't worry about it; we better get back."
"Okay if you think so. Do you want ice cream? My treat."
Random Tangent: The Obsession that is Harry Potter a.k.a. Flirting with Carol
After leaving the line for Baskin Robbins, Carol, with her double scoop cone, started the daunting task of maneuvering through the crowd of people. Bart followed carefully, nearly on her heels, all the while holding two large drink cups. Before Carol's ice cream had the opportunity to melt, they thankfully had found the group. They sat at the makeshift table their friends had assembled. The round plastic had too many chairs and not enough tabletop space.
"But the first Harry Potter book was classic!" Mike objected. "How can you say you liked the second one better?"
"It's like a movie." Wade, the amateur screenwriter, started to explain: "Instead of setting up the rules in the first act you establish the world, tone, and precedent in the first book so when the second comes out you already have a basis to work from. So you cut to the proverbial chase. The flow is better."
"Exactly." Preston nodded and dipped a French fry in mayonnaise.
Kon had been patiently listening to the debate around him. When Carol sat down, his gaze wandered over to her. He eyed her chocolate chip ice cream cone. "Low fat?" he asked during a break in the debate.
"Of course not." Carol smiled and took a little lick.
"A girl after my own heart," he approved.
Bart looked at the two shake cups that he had brought over to the table. First, he lifted the right one, then the left one, and finally the right one again. He eyed them skeptically until he finally set a cup in front of Kon.
"Thanks man," Kon replied automatically and turned back to Wade, ready to interject. "So what about the third book man? The rules are there and everything's old hat in that one too. Got to learn more about the world and besides Black was great! You can't beat something like that."
Bart took a sip of shake. It was a black and white. Plain old zesti with boring vanilla ice cream. Not his standard ice cream float at all. He tried to edge over near Kon to subtlety switch the drinks but Kon had already picked his up. "What are you guys talking about?"
"The Harry Potter series," Ayana supplied. "I completely agree with Jim. Book three was amazingly complex."
"Do you see? Thank you." Kon put his drink down to high five her.
"Aren't those fourth grade reading level books?" Bart asked. Why would his friends be reading kid's books?
Bart's question went unnoticed as the discussion intensified. Kon picked up his drink again, about to take his first sip. Bart cringed in wary anticipation, but Kon slammed it back down when Preston made his rebuttal comment of, "Predictable!"
The shake hit the table top with a resounding thump. If they didn't know better, Bart's friends would have sworn the table vibrated. "What! You've got to be kidding me. It was not."
Bart sighed in relief and tried to switch the drinks once more. He could speed, but that would be a bit obvious.
"It was completely predictable," Wade reiterated. Impatiently, Ayana and Kon waited for the explanation. "Preston, if you please," the blond kid beseeched.
Preston popped another mayo fry in his mouth and washed it down with soda before he began his tirade. "In retrospect, there wasn't even a villain. There was only..." he then transcended the book series to draw references from movies, news, and even video games.
Bart tapped his foot under the table. "I've never read this stuff," he added in an effort to bring himself back into the conversation, "and I'm even more confused."
He tried to ignore the shocked gasps of "What?" and "No way!" and the glare of his friends looking critically at him. How dare he not read each look accused and his overall popularity dropped a point and a half.
"You must read," Rolly commanded.
"Yes," Mike added, "get the first book and then just keep going, they're totally addictive."
"Wait until you read the part about the boggarts and then there's the Quidditch cup in book four."
Bart turned his head back and forth following the various comments as they overlapped each other
"Oh and don't forget..."
"... that part with Voldemort..."
"And Snape! Could you believe it?"
The young speedster rolled his eyes as his friends started to discuss their favorite parts. This was boring. At this rate, they'd never accomplish what the set out to do, which was in part a good thing because Bart hadn't figured a polite way to bring up the subject of families. The subject was going to come up though. He'd make sure of that because there was no way he was losing this bet. If he lost this bet, his appetite would be shot, and thinking of food... he looked over at Kon's drink. Darn it! He wanted his Pistachio-Orange sorbet Root Beer float.
He tapped Carol on the shoulder to draw her attention away from staring intently at Kon. He whispered the problem of the mixed up shakes to her. Carol nodded intently and muttered agreement at just the right time. She was so adept at this, that Bart never noticed she had stopped listening to him, and that she had refocused on the Harry Potter conversation.
Soon it would go from favorite book to favorite villain to favorite character and then ultimately speculation about the newest fifth book, which had been yet to be released. Which would bring up the subject of the upcoming movie, which would bring the topic back to the first book again. Bart sighed. It was a vicious cycle.
"It's a kick ass world," Kon declared and lifted his drink to his mouth.
Bart sat in frozen horror.
Carol sighed. Why did Bart have to make everything so difficult? She tapped Kon on the shoulder. "Um... Jim. That's the wrong drink."
Kon frowned and lifted the plastic lid up. He crinkled his nose at the oddly colored drink. He looked at Bart who seemed to be shrinking in his seat. Kon stirred the straw through the odd drink. More grossed out than he needed to be, Kon put the lid back and slid it across the table to his friend.
Bart let out the breath he had been holding. He slid the other drink across the table. Kon caught it, removed the lid, stirred the contents. Unsatisfied, he looked at Carol.
"It's a black and white," she confirmed.
Part 4: The Search
Part Five: The Discovery