GeoffX.com - Primetime!

Monday
	The Geoff Prince Of Bel-Air When a tough, street-smart white boy (played by Geoff) moves to a posh neighborhood in Southern California to live with his auntie and uncle, look out! The wacky fun could almost kill you!
	Two Girls, A Tub Of Jello, And A Pizza Place Courtney and Allison are two sassy co-eds, fresh out of college with Liberal Arts degrees. While they look for their careers, they spend their days working at a local pizzeria... and their nights Jello wrestling at a gentleman's club! Tune in this week, when Courtney accidentally washes Allison's favorite G-string in hot water and makes it two sizes too small! The Houston Chronicle calls it, "So funny, I almost forgot I had a stiffie!"
	The Angry Hour with Brian O'Shea Pissed off? You're not alone! Brian O'Shea is pissed about something, and he'll be more than happy to tell you why. Tune in for 60 minutes of nonstop randomness as Brian (with the assistance of his friend, Jack Daniels) rants fervently about... uh... something.
	Behind The Dumpster with Chris Wodarski Chris delivers hard-hitting investigative reporting like only he can! This week, Chris does an in-depth probe on beer, and why it tastes so good!

Tuesday
	The All-New Perfect Strangers Picture this: a straight-laced, ultra-right-winged Christian conservative (played by Pat Buchanan) moves into a San Francisco loft with a figure skating legend of questionable sexuality (played by Brian Boitano). We think you'll agree: they're the original odd couple! The Sacramento Bee raves, "Even this piece of crap is better than anything on UPN."
	Kids Say The Darnedest Things Hosted by R. Kelly and Cardinal Bernard Law Two men famous for the ways they've reached out and touched children in the community host a revival of this timeless family program! When our beloved hosts ask these kids questions, you won't believe what comes out of their mouths (or what the hosts put into their mouths, for that matter)! The Miami Herald says, "I've never seen a more terrified group of kids in my life." This Week: Special Guest Co-Host Pete Townshend!
	Dennis Wodarski, P.I. Dennis Wodarski is no private dick; he's an entirely different breed of P.I.! Join the South Suburbs' most rebellious postal inspector every week as he enforces the postal code with his own brand of rules! This week, Dennis is determined to get a package through to special guest star Mr. Gast despite the fact that the drug-sniffing dogs won't leave it alone for a second.
	NYPD Smurfs You've never seen a gritty police drama quite like this before! Tune in and be gripped as Det. Smurfowicz pursues Gargamel after Smurfette is found face down in a gutter, dead of a smack overdose. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel comments, "This show reminds me of the days when I used to take hallucinogens recreationally. I miss those days."

Wednesday
	Geoff's Waterhole Our cornerstone dramatic smash is back in a big way! Tune in every week as these angst-ridden teenagers try to find themselves... while making it through the daily trials of high school life (despite the fact that, in real life, they've all long since graduated high school). When we left the gang last season, Geoff revealed to his longtime girlfriend Jacqueline that he could be the father of Stacye's child. What will Jacqueline do, outside of booting Geoff in the testes? Don't miss a single episode!
	Sing-Along With Geoff Watch every week as Geoff (accompanied by his lovely backup singers, The Geoffettes) sings along with some of today's hottest hits, such as "Why Can't We Be Friends" by Smashmouth, as well as classic tunes like "Why Can't We Be Friends" by Smashmouth! It's a 60-minute gay musical romp! Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Sun-Times calls it "Great fun if your televison has a 'mute' button"! This Week: Geoff sings "The Marshall Mathers LP" in the style of showtunes!
	Party of Five Get ready for a television series that crosses all boundaries, and is unlike anything you've ever seen before! Follow the exploits of the Donner Party as they try to make their way across the rugged Western frontier! This show is an experience so intense, you won't be able to decide whether it's a gripping drama, a historical documentary, or a cooking show!

Thursday GeoffX's "You Better Watch, Goddammit!" TV!
	Geoff & Grace Geoff (played by Geoff) is just an ordinary guy with ordinary problems in his career and his relationships. Thankfully, he has his life-long friend, mainstream-audience-friendly lesbian Grace (played by adult film star Asia Carrera), to help him out during tough times. But wait! Before you can say "contrived sitcom premise", you'll meet Grace's friends, a raging bull-dyke (played by a WNBA point guard to be named later) and her absurdly effeminate, yet somehow heterosexual male friend (played by 3rd Rock From The Sun's French Stewart). Don't you see? It breaks all different kinds of social taboos at once! That's what makes it comedy!
	Bob Crane's Funniest Home Videos Surprise, America, the camera's pointed at you! Nobody knows more about the wackiness and hilarity that can ensue when the camcorder starts rolling than Bob Crane, former star of the legendary sitcom "Hogan's Heroes"! Join Bob from a motel in Arizona as he shows you some of his favorite submissions every week, with each show's grand prize winner earning a chance to meet him in person! This week, you'll laugh till you cower in fear at clips like "Actually, This Car's an Automatic" and "Billy's New Pearl Necklace."
	Fuhrer Knows Best Who knew the Third Reich could be so funny? Nathan Lane stars as Adolf Hitler, and Ellen DeGeneres is Eva Braun in this rollicking romp set in 1940s fascist Germany! This week, Adolf checks in for a routine prostate exam, only to find out that his proctologist is Josef Mengele (played by Jim J. Bullock)! Entertainment Weekly raves, "If you're looking for laughs, make 'Fuhrer Knows Best' your Final Solution!"
	I Bet You Won't Matt Gast is your master of ceremonies for this new impromptu game of Truth or Dare! Join Matt as he tours the country, offering beautiful young women cold, hard cash to go out on a date with GeoffX Programming Director Mike Pries! Is there any amount of money that can make a woman drop her standards that low? Watch and find out!
	American Cross-Dresser The ultimate talent competition has begun! Drag queens from all across America hope to get a shot at stardom... But do they have what it takes? Only our panel of celebrity expert judges (Harvey Firestein, Bruce Vilanch, and Paul Lynde) know for sure! Each week, the field gets narrowed down, leading up to the thrilling conclusion, where one lucky winner will receive an all-expenses-paid trip to Sweden for the surgery of a lifetime!

TGIF - Thank Geoff It's Friday!
	One Ho At A Time Don't miss this fun-filled "family" comedy... with a twist! Nipsey Russell is Cleophus, a former pimp who straightened himself out, got a white collar job, and moved to the suburbs. But when he gets laid off, he goes back to what he knows best: pimpin' dem hoes! But times have changed, and as Cleophus soon finds out, keeping his bitches in line isn't as easy as it once was, especially in middle-class white suburbia! This Week's Celebrity Guest Hoes: Rosie O'Donnell and Janet Reno!
	Hangin' wid Mr. G Mr. G (played by Matt Gast) is a bright-eyed, idealistic first-year high school English teacher. Just wait until he gets thrown in with a bunch of students dumber than a bag of dead hamsters! This week, it's a laugh riot as one curious student drinks out of Mr. G's "special" coffee mug!
	GeoffX's Alternative Lifestyles Sitcom Hour!
	Boy Meets Boy
	Sister, Sister, Sister
	The G-Spot "Changing the way whites ages 14-23 watch television"
	UnGeoffed Join us for a half hour of uninterrupted sexual comedy as college kids who apparently never go to class constantly attempt to get each other in the sack! Try to keep up as we cram 30 disjointed plotlines into a half hour! Adrian Albertson of Attention Deficit Disorder Journal proclaims, "This show is perfect for anyone who... hey, look at that squirrel over there!"
	The Real World: Rantoul This is the true story... of what happens... when 7 people... move into one farmhouse in the heart of cracker country. Watch as seven pretty twentysomethings from absurdly diverse backgrounds try to live together deep in the heart of backward-ass redneck country! This week, Erica mistakenly tries to milk a bull, with surprising results!