GeoffX.com - Saturday Lineup

GeoffX Saturday Programming Lineup (all times are Central)
	MacGyver
	Good Morning, Hangover! So, you had a bit too much on Friday night, eh? No need to worry! GeoffX has the perfect show to sober you up! Tune in for 2 solid hours of Geoff screaming, yelling, singing, and banging on pots and pans! Turn the volume up all the way on your set, and let the healing begin!
	The Ford Heights Victory Garden Tune in every week and learn how to grow America's most profitable (and illegal) cash crop! This Week: "Convincing The Cops It's Just Oregano"
	Babe Winkelman's Good Shaving
	My Little Pony
	Pac-Man
	Snorks
	Danger Mouse
	Voltron
	She-Ra: Princess of Power
	GeoffX's Geoff World of Sports!
	Tonsil Hockey
	Midget Bowling It's not bowling by midgets, it's bowling with midgets!
	Celebrity Cockfighting Chickens, people. We're talking about chickens here. This Week's Featured Match-up: Elton John vs. Boy George! (Hmm, then again, maybe we're not talking about chickens.)
	Retarded Roller Derby What could be more exciting than the smashing, crashing action of roller derby? How about putting twelve kids with Down's Syndrome on the track! This is as extreme as sports gets, you can bet your sweet ass on that! The Philadelphia Inquirer proclaims, "If they're actually going to put this on the air, they better have a lot of good lawyers. Really good lawyers."
	Cooking With Geoff "Today, we'll be making the traditional Italian dish, Spaghetti-O's. Open the can, pour it in a bowl, 2 minutes on high, DONE! I bid you peace."
	Three Dog Bakery Join Dan Dye and Mark Beckloff as they humiliate their three dogs by putting them in dresses while making treats for them! One look at these two, and you'll know that the female dogs aren't the only bitches on-camera! Click here to watch a clip! (Quicktime .mov format)
	GeoffX Bias News with G. Gordon Liddy and a Rifle!
	Communist Strip-Tease Weekend Report
	GeoffX's Minority Garbageman Sitcom Hour!
	Sanford & Son
	Chico & The Man
	Glenwood Cops If it's high-intensity, real-life police drama you're looking for... look somewhere else. On the beat this week, Officer Slickowski naps in his car while scratching himself for 45 minutes, then responds to a call involving a drunk urinating in a mailbox.
	The Greatest American Hero
	Are Ya Gettin' Any? Our beloved Uncle Harry hosts this call-in show, where he takes calls on sex and relationships live from across the country! "Bangor, Maine, hello, are ya gettin' any? Hey Arnie, get me a shot of that blonde over in left center! Holy Cow!"
	Horsecarriage Confessions with Strom Thurmond If you're looking for something a little naughty, take a peek at this new series hosted by America's favorite Dixiecrat! Join the 100-year-old South Carolina Senator as he drives a horse and buggy around Washington while folks aged 70 and up hop in for a ride, and reveal their darkest secrets to Strom and our hidden cameras! This week, Ethel from Greensboro tells Strom about the time she ate too many prunes before going to bingo! Special Guest Star: Sen. Trent Lott as "The Stableboy"!
	Benson
	The Facts of Life
	Liberace's Saturday Night Dance Party
	Paid Programming: Geoff-Bo Ever wonder how Geoff manages to keep his firm, sturdy, 6'3", 145 lb. figure? Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime chance to own the complete workout system designed by Geoff and legendary fitness guru Richard Simmons. You'll be dancing your pants off to a healthier body in no time!
	Paid Programming: Eat The Children 70 cents a day... can you afford to give just 70 cents a day? Is protecting your child worth 70 cents a day? Of course it is. Here at Eat The Children, just 70 cents a day can make all the difference in a child's life. If you send us just 70 cents a day, we'll make sure that Sally Struthers doesn't come anywhere near your home. And that's a good thing, because she can eat her way through a town of Central American kids like it's a can of Pringles. Just 70 cents a day... and a brighter future for your child.
	Paid Programming: Home Fruitpie Bakery Now you can experience America's favorite sugar-glazed snack pastry... made fresh in your own home! Call within the next 37 minutes, and ask our operator about our special bulk discount on animal shortening!
	John Ritter Theater Every week, it's another classic from the film library of John Ritter. Don't miss cinematic gems like "Problem Child", "Problem Child 2", and... um... oh, hell. We'll probably just string together four episodes of "Hooperman" and throw them in this slot one week. And once that new series of his gets the axe, we'll use that, too.