Geology?

Geology. Everybody uses it, but very few people understand it.

If you are a member of the public, or just a geologist who has no idea what he is doing, here are the basics-

Geology stands for

General Earth Or Lithology Of Great Yarmouth

This dates back to when Great Yarmouth was the centre of Geological work. Since then, geologists have been spreading out, visiting such diverse locales as Lyme Regis, Whitby and the Isle of Wight, but the name has remained the same.

Geologists are people who study rocks, these being the objects made of stone many people who are not geologists have lying about in their gardens. These people have no respect for rocks, and so no geologist shows any respect for those people.

Deserve Respect

Do not deserve Respect.

Rocks are found in many places, most commonly on beaches and in quarries, but sometimes in gardens, shopping centres and occasionally in public parks. The only place that rocks are not found is in the small village of Hanging Langford, Kent, which was built on a wooden platform.

Of course, the proper place to put rocks is in an expensive display case, preferably polished with a UV light set up to show off the fluorescence of the calcite crystals.

Geologists are best recognised by their trendy apparel- they rarely look out of place, no matter where they go, whether it be the field, a discotheque or an interview with their local counciller. However, when a non-geologist sees a geologist, he or she may mistake them for a palaeontologist. This is possibly the most heinous offence one can make to a true geologist. Palaeontologists are uncouth, lazy, stupid, plebian, ignoramuses who need silly bits of bone and bugs to make rocks interesting, and are so idiotic they miss the true beauty of the rock as it is.

Sophisticated, well dressed, handsome, intelligent-looking Geologist

Plebian.

This website is part of Geology Today, the official site of the

 

Geology Of North Amesbury Downs Society.