You can pronounce the word "molybdenite" correctly on the first try.

You think the primary function of road cuts is tourist attractions.

You own more pieces of quartz than underwear.

You associate the word "hard" with a value on the Mohs scale instead of "work".

Your rock collection weighs more than you do.

You have a strong opinion as to whether pieces of concrete are properly called "rocks".

You don't think of "cleavage" the same way everyone else does.

There's amethyst in your aquarium.

Your spouse has had to ask you to move your samples out of the kitchen.

Your spelling checker has a vocabulary that includes the words "polymorph" and "pseudomorph".

Your children are named Rocky, Jewel, Crystal, and Beryl.

You're not sure if you have children.

You think there's nothing wrong with looking at the stone facades of buildings with your hand lens.

They won't give you time off from work to attend the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show and you go anyway.

You get cranky because the light strips you installed on your bookshelves aren't full spectrum.

You've ever purchased an individual, unfaceted rock, regardless of the price.

You've ever spent more than ten dollars for a book about rocks.

You shouted "Obsidian!" to a theater full of movie-goers while watching "The Shawshank Redemption".

You find yourself compelled to examine individual rocks in driveway gravel.

You know the location of every rock shop within a 100 mile radius of your home.

When they haven't seen you for a week, the shop owners send you get well cards.

You follow when you see the local university's geology class going on a field trip.

You associate the name "Franklin" with New Jersey instead of "Ben".

You're planning on using a pick and shovel while you're on vacation.

You can point out where Tsumeb is on a world globe.

You've worked with drillers like the characters in "Armegedden."

You think Herkimer, New York might be a cool place to go on a vacation.

You associate the word "saw" with diamonds instead of "wood".

You begin wondering what a complete set of the Mineralogical Record is worth.

When you find out, you actually consider paying it.

You've fabricated a backpack for your dog.

You've installed a mineralogical database program on your computer.

The baggage handlers at the airport know you by name and refuse to help with your luggage.

Your internet home page has pictures of your rocks.

You've taken a copy of Dana's Manual of Mineralogy to the bathroom.

You still think pet rocks are a pretty neat idea.

You never throw away anything.

You get excited when you discover a hardware store that stocks 16 pound sledge hammers and 5 foot long pry bars.

You debate on the internet concerning the relative advantages and drawbacks of vibratory verses drum tumblers.

Your employer has asked you not to bring any more rocks to the office.

You file stratigraphically yet can't find important files faster than your secretary.

You have part of your rock collection under black lights.

You decide not to get married because you'd rather keep your rock collection.

You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food.

You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in:
"What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?"
"I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?"

The only thing you notice about attractive members of the opposite sex is the stone in their jewelry.

You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle.

You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music.

You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel.

You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.

You have ever had to respond "yes" to the question, "What have you got in here, rocks?"

You have ever taken a 22-passenger van over "roads" that were really intended only for cattle

You have ever found yourself trying to explain to airport security that a rock hammer isn't really a weapon

Your rock garden is located inside your house

You have ever hung a picture using a Brunton as a level, and your rock hammer as your hammer

Your collection of beer cans and/or bottles rivals the size of your rock collection

You consider a "recent event" to be anything that has happened in the last hundred thousand years

Your photos include people only for scale and you have more pictures of your rock hammer and lens cap than of your family

You have ever been on a field trip that included scheduled stops at a gravel pit AND a liquor store

You have ever uttered the phrase "have you tried licking it" with no sexual connotations involved

SCORING

0 - 10 You're a pseudolith.
11 - 20 You've seen Dante's Peak
21 - 30 You take no coprolites.
30+ You are rock solid