FISTFUL OF TEABAGS

Once upon a time, in days of old, before television were invented, there lived a sad little man named George. Now he wanted to be so bold and brave, but he was the weakest of his tribe, and life had dealt him all the blows. Every day, sand kicked in his unshaven face. But he did have his vices to keep him occupied. Endless rounds of Tea, and a health interest in his pet Aardvark.

One day, this coffee drinking bounty killer strayed into Georges world. Yes indeed, right into his favourite Tearoom domain. He caught George with the glare of his angel eyes, swaggered over towards him, and started to snarl angrily. "I see you're a coffee guzzler" said George, spying the Jar of beans in the killer's claw. "What gives you that idea?" He replied. George smirked. "I have my sources of information." The killer was unimpressed "I've been given a wad of cash to make sure you convert to coffee..." Then he leaned over George "And when I get paid, I always see the job thru." George stood up in defiance. "Why dont you stick that coffee jar suppository up your *** ?"

Just then, the tea saloon doors swung open. "Hey Blondy!" Shouted little Teaco, referring to the grey hairs growing out of George's ear. "You know what you are?" There was silence. He continued "You're a dirty tea drinking son of a ***** !" George looked back, rather quizzically "What's up, shorty?" Teaco drew out his banana. It was loaded. With a rather large mouthful of yellow fruit. "That putrid pet Aardvark of yours has been frightening the horses!" He got angrier. "I've had to chase it out of town." George looked back with cigar chewing intensity. "If you apologise to my Aardvark like I know you're going to, I might be able to convince him you didnt mean it!"

"Theres no need for that" came a voice from the corner. It was Indio, the local bandito and rebel rouser. "That Aardvark was making for the border, he was well on his way, making good time, but unfortunately... he ran into me." Everyone could see that Indio had in fact killed and eaten the little tasty Aardvark, and was now after Teaco's banana to finish things off. Trouble was, the banana was on the floor, encircled by a ring of four hungry gunslingers. Who would get there first?

Indio opened his pocket watch. "When the music stops, amigos, go for your banana!" And the cute tinkling of the music began, as pairs of anxious eyes studied adversaries for the slightest banana thieving movement. Everyone wanted to gulp that gorgeous offering down in one, especially George, who had a taste for such delights, and whose hands were even now sliding groundwards. But he was not alone. Four evil banana thieves, watching, waiting, sweating, thier eyes intensifying, their teeth grinding. And then, the music stopped...