TEA MESSAGEBOARD
Heres George's Journal, rescued from the depths of his sunken Tea Club.
Tea is the new religion. Its also the old one. Tea is all, and all is tea.
It's the all powerful elixir, and, according to the packet, might even
provide one with the meaning of life. The proof of this is in
these messages, some of which are shown here
for the first and last time, to guide and help you through life's
gauntlet of grief. George swears by 'em, so keep your ears covered.
Today I went to make the tea, then realised that I havent touched the pot of
tea that I made 5 minutes ago. I'm afraid all that was on my mind was the
creation of another potfull. Oh well, at least I didnt waste any more time.
I immediately poured out the cuppa, and gulped it down. Shame about the
madness though. I must go and see the psycho.
Some evil criminally insane coffee drinkers took time off to convince me to
go with the flow and convert to that brown mexican jumping bean beverage
instead of my tannic teabags. What a horrific concept. I'm afraid theres no
way i'm divorcing myself from the only vice I have. My so-called friends are
just fed up with getting tea especially for me, when everyone else is a
coffee drinker. How selfish! No, I wont convert to coffee. Not for all the
tea in China.
I aint had a drop for weeks. I'm dried out. The rehabilitation is complete.
Or is it that i'm outta teabags, and outta cash? I suppose one should
prioritize, and that rent money could have bought weeks of pyramid shaped
pleasure, but didnt I just go and hand over the readies to the landlady
instead. I can hear her now, downstairs, stirring a lovely cup of hot tea,
bought with my tea money! I cant take it no more. Tea-totallin' aint my game.
I'm a fallin' of that wagon. Buddy, can you spare a bag?
In the more remote parts of England's most green and pleasant pastures
there still exists those medieval communities untouched by technology and
modern media's persuasive perversions. There, within the quiet of the forest,
merry peoples chant ritualistic courtship blessings upon the joinings of
happy human couplings, if you know what I mean. And in order to maximise the
conception, villagers get to drinking tea a plenty, as the fertilistic
physicalities get feverish. Copulating nirvana is achieved by tea drinking
before, during, and after. Partners then take the teadance around the teapot,
before retiring for more tea. This is thirsty work, after all!
Not forgetting the jam of course. Thats jam upon the buttered Scone.
And then more
cream upon that, making the most sickest tormentuous mound of decadant
offerings known to mankind. Available in all cornish tearooms right now.
Or orderable by post to anywhere in the world from this very tea site,
price $9.99. If you've yet to explore this delicate nibble, or maybe
quite unfamiliar with the terminology, I advise you to take the first plane to
England, and sample this delight at least once in your life. Dont waste your
time on extreme sports. You aint lived till you've conquored this one.
George and his Aardvarks want to hear from you.
E-Mail: georgianesther@yahoo.co.uk
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