BENEFITS OF TEA

You're mother might have told you the odd tale of Tea, and how its the cure for all ills, why, its the ultimate stock phrase in times of crisis, to utter "Would everyone like a nice cup of Tea?". Well its not just those anti-oxidents that help our frail human bodies ward off horrible diseases, but its the sheer psychological value of what a crucially placed cuppa can do for the soul, for the psyche, for the pain. Better than Morphine, rumour has it. Regarding these Anti-oxidents: Evidence suggests that these prevail in the largest amounts within non-regular Teas, or Teas which are non-processed (using more than just the tips): Unfortunately, I only drink regular tips-only Tea. Thats my health knackered then.

Nothing like a cup of mud, I always say, and theres so much benefit in the taste of ones favourite bevvy. I cant make up my mind whether or not its the ultimate thirst quencher, of if that award should go to a pint of warm English REAL ALE, but there are times, and i'm speaking from experience here, that Ale just wont work with every situation, but Tea will, even in the occasional Pub dilemna. You can get drunk on Tea (its true). I thayyy offither, whould you like a nitthe cup of tea?? (hic)

Break the ice at parties, or in fact any setting, with the offer of a Tea Cup full of Tannic Terribilities. "Would you like a nice cup of Tea?" Enough to get anyone on your side. If one is lost for words, one retreats into the twilite world of Tea slurping, only to emerge renewed and refreshed and ready for social combat, safe in the knowledge that it is Tea, and Tea alone, that binds the human race together. Offer a stranger a Tea offering, and twist the key to absolute social success.