Inner Fire and the Light

by Olivia Jean Ecklund
Chapter 9

LaCroix's body slowly lowered and his feet touched the porch floor. He looked as if he was collapsing in slow motion. Nick broke the circle and gathered his father into his arms as he slumped to the ground. They went down together. Nick sat on the dirt and held his father against his chest, tears of joy streaming down his face.

He looked around. Gone were the legions of vampires. Nick did not know if they had perished or had just ran away. He searched LaCroix's face. If it could have been more pale than before, it was. Nick was almost certain that the older man was dead when, suddenly, he saw his father's eyelashes flutter.

The singing, which had died down in the background of his mind, grew louder and seemed more joyous. A light shone on LaCroix's face, giving it a warm glow.

Nick realized that Natalie was kneeling close to him. She touched LaCroix's chest. "I can feel his heart beating, " she cried, awe filling her voice.

"Father?" Nick called to him.

"Father!" he said, louder, shaking the older man's shoulder.

LaCroix opened his eyes. Gone was the cold steel blue look. It had been replaced by a warm sea blue. There was gentleness and love that Nick had often dreamed of seeing there, but had only glimpsed a few times during their 800 years together. LaCroix reached out his arms.

Nick bent to embrace him, and his father on earth wrapped his arms around him. Nick heard his Father In Heaven say to laCroix, "My Child, you have finally come home."

The song of the angels faded, but the darkness no longer seemed full of danger.

Nick helped LaCroix to his feet and then Natalie. Andrew came close to steady LaCroix, who was weak and exhausted. Joe and Grace came closer.

Tess came forward. "Andrew, put Lucus to bed, please." "Lucus?" Nick asked.

She smiled. "The Lord thinks LaCroix should have a new name. The name Lucien is too close to Lucifer for him to use as he starts his new life." She turned to LaCroix and said, "I think if we just shortened it, you could still retain a part of it. Your name shall be Lucus."

LaCroix was being supported by Andrew on one side, and Nick on the other side. "I agree, Madam," the freed man said, humbly. "Thank you, I will try to be worthy."

Natalie suggested, "Nick, why don't you take him to our room. I think Grace and I have some cleaning to do before we return him to his own room."

Janette appeared at their side. Nick stared at her. She was radiantly beautiful. Gone was the gaunt pale skin. Now her flesh was alive with a pink glow. He was saddened that he had missed her conversion, but glad for her that it was done.

Joe took Andrew's place, and the three humans slowly headed toward the house. Andrew went ahead to ready the bed.

LaCroix was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Nick, exhausted as well, crawled in close, and Natalie joined them. Nick turned his back to his father and spooned Natalie close to him. Andrew pulled a blanket over them and bid them all a good night.

Nick woke as the sun filtered through the window. He sat up, realizing that his father was not at his side.

He quickly looked around, then gazed in utter joy as he beheld LaCroix standing before the big window. Only his silhouette was discernible. The rays of light seemed to dance and caress him. He had his arms raised heavenward, fingers splayed out, soaking up the warmth.

Nick glanced at Natalie. He decided to let her sleep. Slipping from the bed, he went to stand near his father. He reached out and touched the man's shoulder. "Father," he whispered.

LaCroix turned his beautiful, sea blue eyes to look upon his son. "Nicholas," he said. The words were filled with love. "I never thought to see the daylight again." He wavered a bit on his unsteady legs.

Nick slipped an arm around him. They both stood and bathed in the warmth and light of the sun.

"Nicholas," LaCroix said, "I have no words to tell you what I feel. I have so many regrets. I have so many transgressions against you. How can you forgive me for them? I would not be here if you hadn't loved me. Why would you want to love what I was?"

"Shhhh, Father... we were each in our own trap. I only wanted you to be free to choose," Nick replied.

LaCroix continued, "I found that the moment I was free, there was no question of choice. God was there all around me. I felt my spirit and my soul rush toward Him. The separation of two thousand years ended. How could I have lived so long in darkness, Nicholas? How could I have have taken you, a mirror of that light into eternal darkness. You may have been in a slump in your faith when I found you, but I know now that it was that spark of the Lord you have always carried around in your heart that drew me to you. Neither one of us understood what it was we searched for. I am fortunate that you always came back."

He leaned to kiss Nicholas on the forehead. Suddenly, his legs lost their strength, and Nick turned to support him back to the bed.

"You must rest, father," the young man told him.

Natalie had wakened and quietly watched them sharing the morning sun. Tears of joy had fallen down her cheeks as she listened to them talk so lovingly together. Now, she scrambled out of the bed to help Nick settle LaCroix in.

"Please... this is your bed," he protested.

Natalie reassured him, "You have brought us all a blessing, Father. Allow us to do you this honor for now."

"You called me 'Father', Natalie? You forgive me, too?" His eyes filled with unshed tears.

"It's forgiven... all of it. Maybe now we can all live joyful, peaceful lives." LaCroix felt hot, salt tears slipped out of his eyes. He touched his finger to a tear and looked at it in wonder. "It's pure... there's no more blood." His voice held a touch of awe.

"There's no need for blood anymore, Father. The Lord's blood has cleansed it all away."

LaCroix held out his arms, and Nick sat on the edge of the bed, letting his father hold him close. He could hear LaCroix's heart beating steadily, regular and strong.

"My golden son," he said. "I am so proud of you. I am so grateful that you continued to pursue the woman you loved. It was wrong for me to keep you apart." He reached a hand out to Natalie, and she took it, moving closer. "Thank you, my dear."

Natalie smiled, squeezing his hand gently. "You're welcome. Let me go get you a light breakfast. You will need to eat."

Lucus LaCroix smiled, "I've always wanted to try soft boiled eggs. The yokes reminded me so much of the sun."

She smiled, "I can do that. It's a good place to start. We have no idea how your stomach will react to food."

She left the room. Closing the door, she stuffed her fist in her mouth so they wouldn't hear her sobs. After a moment or two she realized Tess was holding her close. "Cry, Baby. Let the tears of relief wash your pain and fear away. It's finally over," the angel soothed. Tess led Natalie downstairs to the kitchen and had her sit on a stool. She began to prepared breakfast for LaCroix, Nick and Natalie.

Natalie sniffed again, "I am so happy for Nick and LaCroix. You should have seen the look of pure joy on their faces as they held each other. As they stood before the sun, it seemed to caress them. They had no "dark need" for each other except for companionship and pure love."

"I have feared that man for so many years... now he's like a new born babe."

"An apt description. You will have more than two children to raise," Tess smiled. Natalie rubbed her growing abdomen. "I want to enjoy these last few weeks of my pregnancy... just rest and think of these babies."

"You shall, Natalie. There is a chance that the babies will come soon. It's not unheard of with twins to deliver early." Tess finished the eggs and added two slices of toast and a small glass of milk for each.

When she and Tess returned to the bedroom, they found Nick sitting cross-legged on the bed facing LaCroix who was reclining. He was relating the story of a small green frog they'd seen in the stream. Tess smiled at them and set the tray down over LaCroix's lap. Then she excused herself and went downstairs. LaCroix looked down at the food gratefully. "I think I'm hungry. There's a strange emptiness in my stomach."

Nick took his plate and held it in his lap. He patted the bed, and Natalie got her plate and sat down beside him.

"That's hunger," she said. "Just go slowly. It's been a long time since your stomach has had to process food."

LaCroix, after watching the others for a minute or two, picked up his spoon and rather clumsily stirred and mixed the egg up. He took a spoonful and ladled it into his mouth. He got such a funny look on his face that Nick and Natalie both said, "What...?"

His face broke into an amazing smile. "It's wonderful!" They laughed as they watched him eat his first meal in nearly 2000 years.

Later, Nicholas helped LaCroix bathe, then put him back to bed, exhausted from the excursion. Nick left him to sleep and went in search of Joe.

He found the other man sitting on his special rock near the stream. Joe was feeling neglected, and a little foolish for indulging himself in the emotion. As Nick came into view, Joe got a big smile.

Nick asked, "Mind if I join you? I could use a little rest. It's going to take me a few weeks to get all my strength back..."

Joe didn't speak. He just motioned to the rock beside him. "I've missed our talks, Pop. I haven't been able to give you much attention lately."

"I understand, Nick. You have your father back." He looked away.

"Joe!" Nick grabbed him firmly by the arm. "Having my father back in no way changes how I feel about you or what I need from you. I've got enough love for all the people here. I spent 800 years unable to love. There's a lot of love stored inside of me. I need all of you."

Joe turned away, embarrassed by his jealousy concerning all the things he'd witnessed in the last 48 hours.

"Having LaCroix here will only make things better," Nick said. "I can stop looking back and look forward. He can tell you so many more stories than I can. He was 12 hundred years old when I met him. He even lived in Pompeii."

Joe's eyes lit up. "He could tell me stories, couldn't he?"

"Yes," Nick said, " and LaCroix loves to tell stories. He used to bore me to death with the ones meant to be lessons of one sort or another, but he told Janette some really fascinating ones. I'd hide in the next room and listen. Looking back, I'm sure he knew I was there, but we were often like oil and water."

Joe suddenly changed the subject and blurted out. "I'm going to ask Grace to marry me."

He stood and walked a few steps away. "I want to have her come here permanently if she says yes and it's alright with you."

Nick stepped around him so he could look into Joe's face. He put his hands on Joe's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Pop, that's wonderful. Natalie would love it. She could use a woman's company around here, and I would love to have Grace here as well. I can see she already loves you... maybe even before she got here?"

Joe nodded, "She has told me that. I can't really fathom why she does, but I know I am a blessed man. I'm not handsome. Some might say I am ugly."

Nick looked at him. "No, Pop... never ugly. You're totally beautiful to me. Your capacity to love and accept those around you makes you beautiful. You're an honorable, decent man. You cared enough about me to keep my terrible secret. I see an angel when I look at your face." Nick let tears of emotion slip from his eyes.

Joe's eyes watered. "You're a good son, Nick. It may take some getting used to, this sharing."

Nick nodded. "For LaCroix, too. He was obsessed with me for 800 years. I would be a fool to think it was all just the vampire. Humans are full of pettiness. All this human emotion will be new to LaCroix. It took me sometime to accept my limitations. Just because we now all believe in the Lord doesn't stop all the pitfalls of human emotion. He will have a lot to contend with, and he will need all of us to help him."

Joe said, "Of course, I will do anything for him, Nick. You know that."

Nick grabbed his mentor and hugged him a moment. He felt Joe return the pressure, then abruptly let go of him and head further into the forest.

Nick wanted to go after the big man, but realized his friend needed more time to think.

Joe hurried through the forest. Hot tears ran down his cheeks. "Forgive my foolishness, Lord," he thought. "To be jealous of your new creation is so childish of me... especially at my age ."

"Joe, " a voice called to him. He looked up to find Tess standing nearby.

Chapter 10

The usually tough angel was looking at him with tenderness shining from her eyes. "Do not feel ashamed," she said. "This will pass. You and LaCroix can become fast friends. You have much to teach each other."

"He's 2000 years old. What can I teach him?" he asked, not quite masking the sarcasm in his voice. That realization washed him with new pain and embarrassment.

"Joe," Tess said, "Nick will never love you less. You can't imagine how much that young man loves you. You accepted him as he was. You are still supporting him. You could not be more his father if you had the same blood in your veins."

"Both he and LaCroix are now human, but they have very little true human experience left in their memories. The Lord brought you here for the purpose of helping to instruct all the former vampires. Janette will see your relationship with Grace and learn as well."

She and LaCroix will soon find each other in a whole different way than they have in the past. They're all babies compared to you. You will be the patriarch of this group."

"God trusts me with that?" he asked, amazed.

"Yes, Baby," She said. Then she touched his cheek, and he felt peace flow through him.

"Thank you, Tess," he said, humbly. They started back. "What happens now for you? Will you be moving on?" He found he dreaded the time when the angels would leave. What if the vampires came back?

As if reading his thoughts (or having God tell her his thoughts), Tess said, "They may threaten, but they can not touch any of you. God promised Nick and Natalie and this place His protection."

"Really?" Joe laughed with glee. He turned back to look at Tess's face, but she was gone.

That evening, the six humans sat at the dinner table. LaCroix had gotten through several simple meals without difficulty and had felt strong enough, with a bit of help, to come down to the dinner table.

They dined on a light meal of broiled chicken with fresh vegetables. Little was said. They had all been quiet since Joe had come with the news from Tess.

They finished their dinner and Joe and Nick rearranged the furniture so that the grouping before the fire held enough seats for them all. That night they had the rare treat of listening to LaCroix talk about his life in Pompeii.

Janette sat close to him, holding one of his hands. LaCroix seemed to enjoy her closeness. She had been his companion for hundreds of years and it seemed natural to have her at his side. Being in love was far from his mind.

Janette, having fallen in love in the past with a man she had met, knew what human love could be like. She wanted that for herself and LaCroix.

After story time, Nick announced, "I'm going to ask the trainer to come back tomorrow. I need to continue my physical training. Perhaps, in time, you will join me, Father. This human body has limitations. It's very difficult at first."

LaCroix nodded. "I feel the weakness of this body. It's also strange not to hear someone's heartbeat or have night vision. I feel like I am tied to the floor. I miss levitation already," he stated.

"I know what you mean, Father. The hardest thing for me to leave behind was flying. Still, you wouldn't believe what this human body is capable of. There's physical training that allows humans to go far beyond what most people realize."

LaCroix said, "It sounds interesting. I'll watch you for awhile and probably join you as soon as I feel stronger. Now, I think Janette and I should go home. All the reminders of my former diet are gone, I understand, and the lab has been put to rest. I wasn't able to tell you how much the decor in my room means to me, Nicholas. Thank you."

Nick nodded, "Before you leave, I wanted to talk to all of you about naming this place. I've been thinking about calling it "Saving Grace" if you all agree. It will be a home and a haven for all of us, and all of us have been saved by God's grace, so... What do you think?"

"Oh, Nick, it's perfect! I love the idea," Natalie enthused.

The others all agreed that the name would fit their little retreat perfectly, and it was enthusiastically and unanimously accepted.

Nick turned back to LaCroix, "I know your place is simple, but I hope that you can enjoy it for a while longer. When you are ready, we will have a proper home built for you here. You will be welcome to stay or use it as a vacation home, whatever you prefer."

"Thank you, Nicholas. We will talk about it another day. I'm really tired now." With Janette and Nick's help, he struggled to his feet, and the three left.

After settling LaCroix in his own bed and kissing Janette good night, Nick returned to his own home. Joe and Grace where just bidding Natalie a good night. Joe turned to Nick as he came in, "Good night, son. I'm going to see if Grace would like to go for a walk." He turned and asked Grace, "Would you like to come with me?" "I'd love too," She grinned. Turning to Nick and Nat, she gave them each a hug, then left hand in hand with Joe.

Nick sighed when they were out of sight, "Alone at last." He sat next to his wife on the couch and drew her against his chest so she could put her feet up and relax. "Now I want to devote a great deal of time to you, my lovely wife." Kissing her temple, he added, "My love."

Natalie snuggled against him. "I'd love that." Nick laid a hand against her belly, hoping to feel the babies move. Despite all the things they had gone through during the last few months, there had been no difficulty for the babies. Natalie was tired and a bit run down, but otherwise healthy.

"Oh, I forgot," Nick added, "Pop, is going to ask Grace to marry him."

Natalie squealed with delight. "Oh, Nick, that's wonderful. She's so crazy in love she can't see straight! I'm so happy for them." "Nick, could we go shopping tomorrow? Just the two of us? I'd love to spend some time alone with you... maybe talk about the babies... about names and things... decide what we will have in the nursery?"

Nick kissed her neck and said, "Sounds great, Nat. A day alone with my girl. I can't think of anything I would rather do, and we do need to gather all the nursery items for their arrival. We've put it off too long."

"Nick, since you are in a naming mood, I'd like to name the babies Joseph Nicholas and Lucy Anne. What do you think?" Nick was speechless for a moment, then he sputtered, "That's a wonderful idea, Natalie. They will be honored." He sighed and held her close. The fire warmed them.

"There are so many unknowns now," Natalie said after a few minutes. "How will LaCroix adjust... and can he? Just like some fledglings never make it, will he be unable to turn back and be a human? Janette loves him. What will she do if he doesn't love her back?"

"Nat, lets not worry about them now. Janette will find someone else if it becomes clear that LaCroix thinks of her only as his child. Right now, they are free of all former bonds as he and I are, but he will always be my father. We'll just have to pray for them and surround them with love and support." He stood and drew her to her feet. "Come on, let's go to bed." Natalie agreed. She was more than ready. They went up on the lift. Natalie asked Nick, "Do you think Janette and LaCroix will stay?"

"For now... eventually, all of us have to go back into the world. This will become our vacation home. We can't stay here and hide from the world forever."

As they passed the guest room, they heard Monica and Tess talking. "They'll probably be leaving soon, too," Nick commented. "I'm surprised they are still here. Andrew already left this morning."

Natalie said, "I really like Andrew. It's comforting to know how beautiful and gentle the death angel is. I'm also comforted that he's gone. I had a fear he was here for someone else." Nick nodded, understanding. "I guess he WAS here for someone. He helped take away the death from father and Janette."

When they opened the door to their room, they found that it had been cleaned, and the bed was changed and fresh... no doubt the work of angels. The young couple took a quick shower, crawled into bed, Sidney jumped up too and curled up beside Nat and they slept.

Outside, Grace and Joe had settled on the big rock. There had been a full moon to light their path. They lay on their backs looking up into the trees and watching the stars through the gently swaying branches. They watched in silence for a time. Joe finally blurted out, "Grace... marry me?"

She sat up and turned to him. "What? Did I hear you right?"

He repeated quietly, " Would you marry me, Grace? I know I'm much..."

Grace leaned over and kissed him to stop him from saying "older."

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her and holding her close. "My life has been in limbo for so long, Grace. I want what Janette and LaCroix have now... a chance to live again. What do you say?"

Grace drew back a few inches so she could see his face in the pale moonlight. "I say, yes!" she shouted with glee, as Joe pulled her down to kiss her deeply and fully.

"When?" she asked against his lips.

"Soon," Joe said. "As soon as you want."

"I've wanted this for months, but I suppose we'll have to wait until tomorrow," she laughed.

"Right!" Joe said, playing along with what he took to be a joke.

"No, Joe, I'm serious! Let's go down to the city tomorrow and see what we can do.".

"We should have it here, Grace. We owe Nick and Natalie a chance to be there. They are our friends and hosts." Grace smiled, "You're right, of course." She laid her cheek against his chest. "But we can get the license tomorrow and see if we can find a minister to come here for the ceremony."

"Sounds good!" Joe beamed. "You've got a deal."

While checking on LaCroix, Janette found him uncovered. She grabbed the blankets and tucked them around him. He awoke and grabbed her hand, holding it to his cheek. "I feel such peace, Janette. I can't even mourn the loss of my powers... not yet anyway. I have always had to control this terrible rage inside of me, and so often I would fail. I know now it was the demon, but we were so much a part of each other. I always thought it was just an evil part of me."

"It was different for me." Janette told him. "I never fought what I was... ever. I accepted it. I'd forgotten what it was to be human, and when I became human so unexpectedly the first time with Robert, the love overwhelmed me." She continued, "It was not even close to what I thought was love with Nichola. I lived in the sun again. I wanted to have a baby. You know how much I've always wanted a baby."

He reached up and caressed her face with his fingers. "Yes, I remember. We have been forgiven, but can we forget what we did... what we were?"

"That's a price we have to pay, Lucus." She said his new name shyly. "We must never forget how easy it is to embrace the darkness. We must always be ready to fight it and strive to do good with the rest of the life that the Lord's has given us."

She brought his fingers to her lips, kissing the tips of them. He slipped his other hand behind her neck and drew her down to his chest, wrapping both his arms around her. Janette could hear and feel his heart beating in his chest. His hand was stroking her hair. "I do not know what I would have done without you all these centuries, my dear. You have made it possible to get through the times when Nicholas was gone. You have always been faithful and have remained at my side, as a devoted daughter."

"Lucus, I am no longer your daughter." She drew back and looked him in the eye. "You are human... I am human. We are no longer bonded as sire and daughter by the vampire blood. We are free to make our lives what we want them to be. If you wish, we can walk away from each other... or form a new bond. We are free to love, live, maybe even have babies... if you want that, Lucus."

LaCroix's face registered surprise. "That's an intriguing thought, my dear. I think that we will just step forward into the future and take it a day at a time. You might want to see what kind of man I become before you offer me such a wonderful gift."

"Who else could we share our memories with? I know we both deserve the kind of love I found with Robert. I only told you what is in my heart because I want you to consider a life with me. If I did not say it, it might never have occurred to you, and we could both lose out." She leaned down and gave him a very soft, sensual kiss.

LaCroix's face was full of wonder as she turned off the light and left, closing the door behind her.

The next morning, Nick and Natalie announced that they were going on a shopping spree for the babies. As much as they both wanted to go alone, Grace's announcement that she and Joe were going to get married the next day spurred Natalie to offer to take Grace and Joe with them to town.

Janette decided to stay with LaCroix since he wasn't up to traveling. He and Janette planned to 'just be domestic' as she put it.

On the trip in, Joe and Grace discussed their plans to get the paperwork and find a minister to marry them. They asked Nick and Nat if they would mind having the wedding at "Saving Grace."

"Joe, I've told you, that place is just as much yours as ours. I think it would be wonderful to have the wedding there, and I know Nat will agree," Nick said, as he glanced at his ecstatic wife, who was nodding vigorously.

End Chapter 10


By Jeannie Ecklund Gersknightlady@cs.com





Inner Fire and the Light 11-12
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