Dialogue #3 – “Sisters” HI!  Your story is great!!!!  It reminds us of how we act.  One of our names is also Nicole.  And our other friend is Bobi Jo.  She is exactly like Alexa.  Gabriela is stupid enough to listen and put up with the same stuff as the mom in the story.  We like the story line and the way you wrote it.  Not to be mean or anything but we would change or add a thing or two.  First we would try to make it a little longer and put in a  middle and an ending, (Nicole thinks your story is the beginning of one great story.) and second we would make the ending not so abrupt.  Maybe explain it more.  We think that you shouldn’t end the story with someone talking.  Also we have some questions about your story.  Why is “Sister” in quotations for the title?  What is the metaphor?  Is your metaphor comparing the two characters in the story? Nicole, and Bobi Jo Hey Nicole, Your story was written really well, but it didn't make a lot of sense in some parts but it was excellent.  It really gives meaning to a true friend.  Is the story true? Samantha Samantha, Thanks for reading my story.  Please tell where you thought it didn't make sense.  I'm really looking to improve it.  Please be specific.  Thanks.  Yeah, the story is true.  It's about  me and a friend of mine.  Did you by any chance see my metaphor?  It's been tough for me to get it to come through.  Please write back.  Thanks, Nicole Hey Nicole, When I said it didn't make sense in some part I think I was thinking of another story.  It makes perfect sense after all I re-read it.  No sorry I didn't see the metaphor what was it supposed to be?  But I still think it gives meaning to a true friend.  It's nice how they get over their fights so quickly.  WRITE BACK!!!! Samantha (Sammie) Hi Thanks for your comments.  They’re very helpful.  The reason the story isn’t very long is because it was just an exercise on character development, but I will definitely try to make it longer, since everyone that’s commented on it has said the same thing.  What should I explain in the ending?  Sister is in quotations because I was trying to portray the sisterly relationship between the friends.  Did it not come through?  My metaphor was comparing Alexa to a squirrel, but it obviously doesn’t come through.  How can I make it come through more?  Nicole, I’m really not that great with metaphors, so I’m afraid I don’t really know how you could make it come through.  I don’t use metaphors in my stories, at least I don’t think I do anyway.  I like that the metaphor was Alexa and a squirrel.  I would have never noticed that.  Sorry it didn’t come through. Sammie