Terra Prime's Other Plan

Feedback is welcome send it to ghanami_jmw(at symbol)yahoo.com

Codes: Archer/T'Pol, PG-13

Summary: Sex, Terra Prime, and Video Tape

Author's Notes: Inspired by looking at a thread title the wrong way. Sex but nothing explicit. I remember Tami doing something with a video in a fic that definitely wasn't bad fanfic. This fic is so bad, it wreaks of it.

________________

Paxton: Soon the world will see the evils of interspecies mating.

________________

7 days later at Starfleet HQ

Gardner: My god. And you say this has been spread all over the global net?

Assistant: Yes Admiral. It's been downloaded 147,000 times.

Gardner: Already? Get Captain Archer. And shut down that download site before this gets out of hand!

________________

In Standard Orbit of Earth

Archer: Archer to T'Pol.

T'Pol: T'Pol here.

Archer: Could you come to my ready room? I... uh... need to talk to you about something.

A few minutes later.

T'Pol enters the ready room and notices Archer sitting behind his desk. His cheeks are tinged with red and he looks distracted, tense, and angry.

T'Pol: Captain?

Archer: Oh, sorry, have a seat. Uhh... what I'm about to show you might be disturbing. This video was uploaded to the Earth Globalnet. Starfleet contacted me to ask me if it was real.

Archer swivels his view screen so she can see.

He plays the first few minutes of the video.

In the video, which appears to be shot from the angle of a surveillance camera, T'Pol enters Archer's quarters. He smiles and invites her in.

Archer: I missed you.

T'Pol: I missed you as well.

Archer: Did anyone see you come in?

T'Pol: No.

Archer: Good.

Archer brings snakes an arm around her waist and brings her too him. He kisses her. She kisses back.
Archer paused the video.

Archer: It gets more... intense from there. The video goes on for 47 more minutes.

T'Pol raises an eyebrow: Intense?

Archer (Why did she make him spell it out?): The video shows us being intimate.

T'Pol: Oh. I would like to review the entire video alone.

Archer: You would?

T'Pol: To examine it for signs of computer manipulation.
If you would excuse me, I would like to exonerate us as soon as possible.

Archer: Okay. Report back to me with your findings.

T'Pol: I will.

Two and a half hours later T'Pol returns with a padd. She hands it to Archer. He doesn't look at it. He knows T'Pol will tell him everything in her report.

T'Pol: I have reviewed the film several times. Whoever produced it was a highly skilled in computer graphics. It deduced that they used scans procured from our annual physicals and digital images to create the final product. The rendering of our bodies is 99% accurate.

Archer: How did you come up with that figure?

T'Pol: From visual evidence.

Archer shifts in his chair and blushes: Really?

T'Pol: Vulcans have keen observational skills.

Archer: Indeed.

T'Pol: Some of the... scenes seem unrealistic to me.

Archer: Which ones are you talking about?

T'Pol: The scene at time index 5:40.

Archer calls up the film.

Archer: I don't see anything strange.

T'Pol: The position we are in is not strange?

Archer (Do I have to talk about this with my first officer?): *Cough* No.

T'Pol: The next scene is at 7:03.

Archer: Again I don't see what's wrong with it.

T'Pol: A Vulcan woman would not say that. And certainly not yell it.

Archer: Uhh... I'll take your word for it.

T'Pol: I also made a note about time index 17:00.

Archer fast forwards.

Archer: Uh. Ummm. Let's just say some people enjoy that kind of stimulation.

T'Pol: 20:05?

Archer: ...And that's the desired response from your partner.

T'Pol: 26:54?

Archer: Uh... humans like to experiment with different surfaces like... I can't believe I'm telling you this.

T'Pol: Are you uncomfortable talking to me about sexuality?

Archer: No... Yes. You're my first officer. We're not supposed to discuss... sex.

T'Pol: We have no choice in the matter.

Archer: Yes we do. We don't have to discuss every single scene. There have to be some digital flaws in the video that show it is a fake.

T'Pol: There are.

Archer: What?

T'Pol: There are several minute 3-D imaging flaws I found while viewing the video at 500% magnification.

Archer: Why didn't you tell me about those in the first place?

T'Pol: I was getting to that part of my report.

Archer: You could have told me before asking all of those questions.

T'Pol: Those time indexes appeared to have the more glaring errors.

Archer: *Sigh.* Thanks for the report Commander. I'll send it to Admiral Gardner. We'll have to wait and see what effect Starfleet's damage control has.

____________________

And in the Vulcan Embassy...

Soval: I have been monitoring the situation.

T'Pau: What is the response of the humans to the video?

Soval: The video has a 5 star rating. Some of the comments condemn the Captain for sleeping with a subordinate. Others comments contain racial slurs. Overall the comments were favorable to a Vulcan/human couple...or perhaps only the act of mating. Though I could not comprehend some of the terminology.

T'Pau: I was referring to the response since Starfleet revealed it is a fake.

Soval: Here is my detailed analysis.

T'Pau reads it: Fascinating.


Back to Fanfiction