Therapy Part 2

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Codes: A,T'P, PG-13 (references to drug use)

Author's Note: If you haven't read Therapy, I advise you to. This universe is different than the canon one. This part was very hard for me to write in some parts. This is not the end of the series, but I'm not giving an ETA on the next part. I am working on it, though.

“I’m going to tell you this for the last time. Wake up!”

The raspy voice cut through the silence of the quarters, calling the attention of the sleeping figure on the bed.

“I said wake up!” hands grabbed the arm of the sleeper and roughly dragged her out of the bed.

T’Pol landed hard on the floor. The impact reverberated up her spine. She looked around in the dark, trying to discern where the intruder was located. Through the darkness, she could see a figure standing over her. She readied herself for an attack when she recognized the shape of the body before her. Jonathan.

“How can you be sleeping after what you did?” he spit out in a voice quaking with barely restrained rage.

“I do not understand. What are you referring to?” T’Pol looked up at the shadowed figure. Archer came closer. His eyes glowed reflecting the light of the stars from the viewport behind her. The rest of his face remained cloaked in shadows.

“Have you forgotten so fast?” he let out a sarcastic laugh, “How convenient for you.”

“Well, let me refresh your memory. When the anomaly struck the corridor, you could have saved me, but you didn’t.”

T’Pol shook her head “No, I couldn’t move. I was trapped beneath the bulkhead.”

“What ever happened to Vulcan strength and flexibility? You could have moved that bulkhead enough to free yourself. You panicked. I saw it on your face.”

“That is not true. I did not have time to react.” T’Pol looked down at the floor avoiding his gaze.

“First a memory lapse, now lying? Maybe I should call Phlox in here to see what is wrong with you. But you wouldn’t like that would you? He might discover your dirty little secret.”

Her eyes shot up to him.

“You thought I wouldn’t find out? I guess a minor detail escaped your notice: the inventory ordered for cargo bay 2.”

“Tell me. Do you think it was worth it, trading my life for your precious drug?”

He stepped out into the starlight, leaning in close to her, so she had no choice but to look at him. His face hovered inches from hers. The blood had drained from his skin leaving it pale and ashen. As he spoke to her, she could not feel his breath against her skin.

“I hope your drug comforts you each night when you dream of my death.”

T’Pol came to consciousness, bolting upwards, gasping for air. Her eyes searched her quarters looking for signs of Archer. Her breathing began to slow as her mind grasped the reason he wasn’t there. The dream stayed with her for some reason, the things Archer had said were not easily dismissed. T’Pol saw a truth in his words she had tried hard to avoid.

Throughout her use of Trellium D, she believed it was logical to take the drug. Because of her, Archer did not line the ship with Trellium. The ship and her crew were vulnerable to damage from the anomalies that were littered throughout the Expanse. If T’Pol could build up an immunity to the affects of Trellium, the crew would be safer. T’Pol started taking Trellium intravenously in slowly increasing amounts.

At night, when she lay in bed, she let herself believe that it was all a selfless act. She labeled the feeling of anticipation that came before the hypospray touched her neck irrelevant. The exhalation of a held breath as the drug burned through her veins setting off the rapid firing of her synapses was to her a meaningless involuntary reflex. And the sated bliss which spread across ever nerve of her body became another variable in the experiment that she deemed inconsequential.

She also ignored the signs that it was affecting her abilities as an officer. After repressing her emotions for more than sixty years, why would a few erratic emotions pose a problem? Stepping up her nightly meditation seemed to counteract the increasingly chaotic feelings and sensations. A few times while on duty she suffered a sudden rush of feelings that threatened to drown her senses. Each time, she was able to regain control.

Her carefully constructed illusion of control had fooled everyone, including herself until today. The anomaly left them no time to avoid its path. T’Pol did not remember seeing the ceiling buckle and fall down on her leg. The first sensation she remembered was the blinding pain shooting from her ankle. Then fear screamed at her urging her to act. She couldn’t find the voice of logic to bring calm to the turbulence inside her. She pulled futily at her ankle, unable to think of another course of action. When the wave of energy hit Jonathan sending him to the ground, her emotions overwhelmed her. One question repeated in her head now: Could she have prevented his injury?

She climbed out of her bed and walked over to the bathroom. After taking a shower and changing, T’Pol left her quarters. She needed to visit two people.

Three minutes later, she was standing before a door. She composed herself and entered.

“Dr. Phlox, I need to speak with you.”

*****

Archer entered sickbay and headed towards the only close privacy curtain. He pulled back the curtain enough to allow him entry and stood watching the occupant of the bed. Her eyes where closed and he could see eyes racing back and forth underneath the lids. Sweat covered her skin and soaked her clothing. The muscles in her face would occasionally twitch or contort.

Archer heard movement behind him, he did not turn to acknowledge the visitor.

“Captain, I wasn’t aware you came in sickbay.”

Archer continued to look down at his first officer’s form. Phlox walked around to the other side of the biobed and checked the readings on the wall monitor.

“I just came in to see if the readings are still unchanged. I want to be notified when she wakes up. I have a few things to discuss with her.”

Phlox turned towards Archer and assessed his physical appearance. Dark circles hung below the captain’s eyes making them appear sunken into his pale skin. From the stubble on his chin, Phlox gathered that the captain had not shaved in the past two days, a minor symptom of his overall self-neglect. Phlox hoped the captain’s condition would improve when T’Pol recovered.

“I sedated her earlier this morning. T’Pol’s hallucinations intensified and she began to injure herself from fighting against the restraints.”

Phlox stopped himself when he saw the look of concern on Archer’s face. Continuing his description of her withdrawal symptoms was probably not best.

“The readings I’ve gathered are promising. I believe she will be able to recover with little or no permanent damage to her nervous system. The rapid detox procedure I preformed will help ease the physical addiction. The psychological addiction T’Pol will have to deal with on her own.”

Archer’s expression became blank except for his eyebrows which knitted together. The doctor’s news was encouraging, but there were still too many uncertainties.

“Thank you doctor.”

“I’ll leave you alone Captain.”

Archer returned his attention to T’Pol. He felt helpless standing there knowing there was nothing he could do to help her. He didn’t know why he came here. He could have easily contacted the Doctor from the ready room. Maybe he needed to see her with his own eyes to prove to himself that she was okay. Or perhaps some misguided thought in his head made him think his presence might matter somehow.

Archer avoided sickbay on purpose. At first, after T’Pol told him of her Trellium D use, he was angry with her. What was the logic in building up a resistance to a dangerous substance, when the end result was trading one danger to the crew for another? Her precarious hold on her emotions has so far not jeopardized anyone’s safety. They were lucky in that respect.

At the same time, Archer understood her stilted logic. He knew he would take any opportunity to safeguard his crew no matter the risk to himself. She said she had set out to use Trellium so the ship’s hull could be lined and the crew safe. Her heart had been in the right place.

Archer felt he was partially to blame for T’Pol’s condition. He had requested she go on the mission to the Seleya. He kept a supply of Trellium on the ship even after the toxicity of the substance was discovered. And a few weeks ago, when she kissed him, he accepted her excuse that it was a momentary lapse caused by lack of meditation. If only he had insisted she see Phlox. But, he had trusted her word, and believed it because he didn’t see her control slip again.

Trust. The one thing that was broken between them. He still cared for her and wanted her back as a friend and officer. But, her actions and lies damaged the bond of trust and respect they had built over the years. They would have to talk before he allowed her to resume her role a first officer and science officer. Even then, she would need to prove herself to him.

Archer turned away from T’Pol’s restless form and closed the curtain behind him. He left sickbay heading for the bridge.

Continued in Part 3

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