Déjà Vu Chapters 1-5

Chapter 1

It was the harshest winter in the history of the tiny, isolated town of Dover, Minnesota. The year was 2001. The snow had fallen in a relentless fury for the past 2 weeks. Travel was impossible, and one could only pray their I neighbors were doing okay since they had absolutely no means to check on them. The telephones had been down for days and it would've been suicide to try to walk through the blizzard.
Brenda Barrett had chosen to live in this far off place for many reasons. She had been in the public eye for so long, and for a long time she craved all the attention she received. First, at the tender age of 18 she was one of the most recognizable women in the world. As the spokes model for Deception Perfume, her face was splashed all over the media in all its forms. She met, during this turbulent time, a man she now knows she'll never forget. He told her that very thing once, that she could walk away from him and it'd be as if they never met, or she could stay with him and that then they had definitely met, and one way or another she'd never forget it. He was right about that. He was wrong about many, many things, but he was right about that. This man was Sonny Corinthos, and he himself was as well known as a person could be. But for totally different reasons. He was a mobster, and he loved it. It was a life that he knew inside and out, and he was good at it. Brenda found out from him that it had been the respect and power he needed most, and he got that in spades from the Organization. He got in when he was alone in the world, and by the time he knew he loved Brenda, he also knew he couldn't get out. It meant a lot of fear for himself, but mostly for her. So instead of dealing with that fear, he took off. He left Brenda alone and humiliated at the altar of their wedding. He just left no note, no goodbye, and no nothing. He did have his friend tell her it was a great ride.
So Brenda's been desperately trying to make sense of this ever since. It's been three and a half years. She had a brief fling with a man she always rebounded to when she and Sonny had problems. He was very serious about her, and her emotions were so raw that she believed he was right for her. She led him on in a very big way, and when she realized she had backed herself into a comer, that she had let herself just fall into this engagement and there was no way out without causing him incredible pain, she made a monumental choice. Her reasons for not wanting to marry Jax were twofold. First, she could only ever love Sonny to the depth of her soul, no matter what he'd done. And two, she knew she was only with Jax on the rebound from Sonny. It wasn't fair to Jax at all. So Brenda did something she learned from her association with Sonny and his colorful friends. She staged her own death. No one knew, not her family, her friends, Sonny, Jax, no one. Everyone thought she was dead, and that's exactly the way she wanted it She relocated to Dover, population 1,500. She began to find herself; she gave up the overdone make-up and her natural beauty shined through. Her wardrobe consisted of jeans and T-shirts mostly. Even without the model props, Brenda was gorgeous. She started keeping a journal to try to help her through her emotions, and she found she had a knack for writing. So she took a job at the local newspaper. Even I though it was small time, she was able to watch her old town of Port Charles, NY from afar. Anything newsworthy usually made its way past her desk. She knew that Sonny had returned home and she hoped he could do something about the craziness Moreno had caused. But soon that hope was dashed, as Sonny disappeared again. Brenda hasn't heard anything about him for 2 years now, and she prayed every night that he was okay. She knew he wasn't dead, she could feel him, but alive didn't necessarily mean okay.
Brenda was lying in front of the fire losing herself in the array of colors there when she heard it. It sounded like her malamute. He was howling even more than normal. It wasn't his "talking" voice; it was as if he was telling her something important. It went on for several minutes before Brenda decided to bundle up and go check it out. It was well below freezing and with the wind chill added well below zero, so she had on her parka, her woolen gloves, a snow mask, her snow boots, everything she could find and she headed out to bring her dog back inside. He'd gone outside about fifteen minutes earlier and she wanted him back in anyway. As she trekked through the snowdrifts, she thought she could see something, in the distance. All she could tell through the flurries, was that it was her dog, Rico, and he was next to something, it looked like a bundle of some kind. She still had about fifty feet to go to get to them, and she was already freezing.

-Chapter 2

As Brenda drew closer to Rico, her heart started racing. It was more than the whipping wind and the freezing air. It was more than the wetness she was feeling as the snow settled inside the edges of her boots. The snow was about waist high in this last stretch, and Brenda could only see inches in front of her. Her dog directed her. Luckily he was a malamute, one of the most vocal of dogs. He talked to her constantly leading her to where he waited. As she approached panic riddled her body. It was as if she desperately needed to see what he found, as if she already knew on some level. It was the exact same feeling she had the day of Laura's funeral. Never before or since did she panic that completely. Even right after Sonny left her, she was alone, scared, and I confused, but even that panic didn't compare to this. This was the only pure fear she'd ever known in her life, the fear associated with something awful happening to Sonny Corinthos. Brenda began walking faster, with more purpose. As she closed the final feet between her and her destination, she saw Rico nudging something with his I nose. Brenda saw a man, he was dressed in winter clothes and he was lying on his stomach in the snow. Brenda, her mind still not accepting what her body already knew, reached down with both hands and rolled him over.
His face was uncovered and Brenda screamed. "Sonny, oh god, Sonny!" It was like Déjá Vu. The same thing she'd felt when she discovered him in his car after he got shot helping Frank Smith escape. He was unconscious and his face was pale with the lack of circulation. Brenda's brain kicked in, overriding her panic, and she started slapping his face and yelling his name, but he was completely non-responsive. She checked for a pulse and was more than relieved when she felt one. Brenda was sitting on her knees in the freezing snow with a windstorm whipping all around her. She was rocking back and forth cradling Sonny's head in her lap stroking his frozen black hair. Then she leaned into his ear hoping he could hear her. "Sonny, its Brenda, okay. I'll be right back. I'm not leaving you here. I'll be right back." With that she instinctively kissed his cheek and laid his head back on the ground using her scarf and ski mask as the best pillow she could come up with. She made her way to her shed and pulled out a toboggan that she had bought at a yard sale. She'd never used it, but today it would become something altogether different. Her dog had stayed with Sonny as if he knew that's where he belonged. Rico had laid down next to Sonny warming him with his body and fur. Brenda frantically started searching for some ropes. She couldn't find any and panic threatened her again. She started throwing things around and dumping things over. Finally in a corner behind some boxes, she found several strong ropes. Brenda made her way back to Sonny as quickly as she could which wasn't very fast. The storm was merciless and seemed to be getting stronger. Her face was so cold; Brenda couldn't feel it anymore. She got to Sonny and she laid the toboggan next to him.
She tried to budge Sonny, but she wasn't having much luck. He was so heavy. Finally she was able to roll him onto her makeshift dog sled. Brenda situated him as best she could, and then she tied the ropes to the front of the sled. She tied one to Rico and one to herself. Then she tried to pull him along. At first it absolutely wasn't working. All Brenda could think about was getting him inside, warmed up, and conscious. But Rico didn't know what to do. He would pull but as soon as he felt the resistance, he'd stop and look up at Brenda with a confused look. Brenda stopped, exasperated with her dog. "Damn it, Rico, you're supposed to know how to do this? You're from Alaska, for god's sake. Move it!" She went back to her task, and this time Rico seemed to get the hang of it. They struggled through the drifts and the flurries and wind and got him to the house and inside where they pulled him in front of the fire. Brenda untied Rico and herself, then she ran to her bedroom scooping up all her blankets from her bed and bringing them to Sonny. She covered him and was not even thinking of herself at this point at all. Her face was nearly frostbitten but she didn't notice. Brenda was thinking only of Sonny and she began to panic again. There was no way to get in touch with a doctor.
The man she'd dreamed of for so long was unconscious on her living room floor probably suffering from hypothermia, frostbite, and god only knows what all else and she didn't know what to do. But she was all he had. If she didn't come through, Sonny would surely die. So she desperately tried to remember any first aid she ever knew. She thought she could vaguely remember that he couldn't be heated up too fast, that was bad somehow. Brenda started heating up her hot water bottles and then she sat next to him taking his hands in hers. They were so cold. Then she noticed his clothes were wet from the snow that was very bad. Brenda started removing them. Touching his skin sent chills down to her very core and it had nothing to do with the cold. She went to her room and found something she knew would fit him. She didn't know how she was going to explain to Sonny that she'd kept a pair of his silk pajamas. She kept some of his suits, too. She couldn't let go of him, she just couldn't. She loved to wear his shirts around the house; it made her feel so close to him. She often wondered if he could feel her when she felt that close to him.
She ran back to him and redressed him and then put the woolliest pair of socks she owned on his feet. She got the hot water bottles and positioned them, too. She got him a pillow and covered him with the blankets and then she did something she didn't even think about. She climbed in next to him and spooned her body into his. Warmth radiated throughout her entire body, and she leaned into him as close as she could in an effort to warm him up. He had to be okay, he just had to. Brenda laid her head on his chest while she rubbed his hand with hers. She began to speak although for the most part it was just thinking out loud. She didn't even realize the words were actually coming out of her mouth. Her voice was soft and gentle and her breath would've tickled his skin had he not been nearly frozen to death. "Sonny, what are you doing here, huh? I swear you have always had such a knack for showing up at the strangest times out of the blue. Then sometimes, when I'm expecting you to be somewhere, you don't show. What's up with that, huh? Do you just strive to be as unpredictable as possible? I guess none of it matters right now anyway. What's important is bringing you back from where ever you are. I've missed you so much. I've always loved you, Sonny. Always. I can't make it stop. I went to therapy to make it stop, spent tons of money only for the psychiatrist to tell me I'll probably always love you on some level. I swear I was so pissed at her. I wanted to let you go. I thought that's what I needed. But I can't. I don't know if you can hear me, but if it helps you at all to know this, I do love you. Please come back, Sonny. You told me once that you've spent your life beating the odds; there will never be a better time to prove it. Please come back."

-Chapter 3

Brenda could feel his skin warming up some, and there was some color in his face. She didn't know how long they'd been there, but she guessed it had been at least an hour. She had been watching him for some time she was leaning on her elbow next to him. He was still unconscious, but he looked so much better. He actually almost started feeling warm. His breathing was even and deep. Brenda moved her body to his again laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arm around him relishing the sound of his heart under her ear. She drifted off to sleep.
She awoke some time later to the sounds of Sonny's moans and grunts. At first Brenda was elated. He was awake. She looked up at him and touched his face. Her excitement quickly turned to terror as she realized his skin was ringing wet. His face, his entire body was sweating and flushed. He was burning up. Brenda pulled the blankets from him and was about to drag him away from the fire when she realized it had almost gone out. She shook him and stroked his hair talking a little too fast in an effort to wake him. He was still out. He didn't respond at all. He was so hot. Brenda didn't know what to do. She got up and started pacing trying to calm herself down. Sonny was moving his head from side to side in his incoherent state. She could hear low noises coming from his mouth, but they weren't words and they made no sense.
Brenda was biting her fingernails watching him as she paced. Panic again laced her voice as she spoke to herself. "Okay. Calm down, Brenda. Just chill. At least he's not frozen anymore. What do I do about this fever? I can't remember what I'm supposed to do. Wait a minute, I do I remember, lukewarm bath, right? Right! But there's no way to get him to the tub. Damn it! I can get a pot of water and a sponge and I can bath him myself. That's something, right?" She looks at Sonny as tears form in her eyes. "Come on, baby, don't do this." With that, she heads to the kitchen to retrieve the water and sponge.
Brenda had been bathing Sonny with the lukewarm water for a couple of hours and there was no change. His temperature, as best as she could get it, was 106 degrees. He was absolutely burning up. Brenda remembered that a person couldn't hold a temperature like that for very long without having some damage to their internal organs and brain. She was getting desperate and frantic again. She started yelling at Sonny. "What are you doing? Don't you know how stupid this is? You are Sonny Corinthos, for god's sake. Death by bullets, yes. Death by a little snow, no way in hell." Suddenly she rose and walked to the other side of the room taking deep breaths. She walked slowly back to him and kneeled down taking his face in her hands and speaking softly. "I'm sorry, baby. You know me; sometimes I just lose my head. I've never been too good with stress, have I? You've got to do the work now, okay. You've got to want to come back. I need you on this planet, Sonny. It's what's kept me going, knowing you were at least alive. I'll be right back, I'm not leaving you, okay." With that she leaned in and touched her lips to his in a feather kiss that still sent tremors through her spine. Suddenly, she remembered a very strange thing. Her head held a vision of memory of a TV show she'd seen years before. It was Little House on the Prairie, and Almonzo Wilder, one of the men, got a terrible fever, so they placed him in a tub full of ice. The scene made an impression on Brenda because it was so brutal to her. Ice. Ouch! But, his fever broke and he did okay.
So she starts wondering if there's any medical truth to that. She quickly decides that it doesn't matter. She has no choice. She has to get his fever down. She has no choice. So she surrounds Sonny with a barricade of towels and she heads outside. It felt strange covering his gorgeous body with snow after he had almost frozen to death. She covered him completely except for his face and she kept on covering him as the snow melted. This went on for hours. Brenda cried several times. The tears just kept coming. She was so scared. This was the worst she'd seen Sonny. Even with the heroin she could get him to talk to her, even when he was shot he knew she was there. He was actually sweating beneath the snow. His face was red with the heat of his own blood and Brenda was terrified.
Time passed. From the moment Brenda first noticed the fever to now, it had been ten and half-hours. Sonny was making incoherent noises and every once in a while he'd yell something. Twice Brenda heard him say "Deke" and she thought she heard "no" and "Brenda," too, but his voice was muffled and his brain didn't have a clue his mouth was talking at all. Brenda just talked to him. She continued her vigil with keeping him soaking in ice and she spoke of their memories, his memories, and her life, good and bad. She spoke of love and forgiveness and family. If Sonny had been conscious he'd know everything about her, every single thing she'd done since he'd seen her last. Maybe on some deep level he did know. She found it comforting talking to him about her feelings on the things that happened in their life because there was no chance for confrontation. She could tell him exactly what she felt and he was as captive an audience as he ever could be. It's so rare for a human being to be able to open up to that extent. Most people never really get the chance. Brenda stayed by his side never even considering being anywhere else.

-Chapter 4

Brenda sat by the still unconscious Sonny's bedside. He had been moving a little bit and his fever doesn't appear to be as high as it was earlier. He is covered up with blankets and his head is rested on a pillow. Rico jumps on top of him and begins to lick his face.
B: (Laughing)" Rico, you better watch out, mommy might get jealous. I never did take it very well when other women were interested in him. It would be no different with men either."
Rico looks up at her and continues to lick his face, like he can care less about what Brenda has just said. She continues to laugh as Rico continues drowning Sonny's face in kisses. Brenda hears a groan and is relieved when she sees that Sonny has opened his beautiful, intense, dark eyes. He still had his way of speeding her heart rate up with just one glance. She, however, noticed that Sonny isn't reacting the same way towards her, he is looking at her with confusion, like somebody would look at a complete stranger. He looked around the room and then back up at her.
S: " Where am I? Who are you? And last but not least, who am I?"
B: (Flabbergasted) " You're at my house in Dover, Minnesota. You're Sonny Corinthos. And my name is Brenda. Brenda Barrett."
S: " I'm sorry if this is going to come across rude or anything but can you please get this dog off of me?"
B: " Of course. Come on Rico. Get off the man."
S: " You say that my name is Sonny? Do we know each other or something?"
B: " No, you're just a familiar feature in the newspaper."
S: " Oh, so I'm that type huh? Tell me now, do I look cute in the pictures that they put in the paper?"
B: " You're absolutely gorgeous. In and out of the newspaper."
S: " And you miss, are not so bad yourself."
B: " Thank you."
S: " So, who is this creature?" (Referring to Rico)
B: " This is Rico, he's my protector."
S: " He doesn't seem to think that you need protection from me."
B: " That's because I don't. I know that you would never hurt me."
S: " And how is it that you know that? You just said that you don't know me."
B: " Well, you just have that look about you."
S: " What look is that?"
B: " Well...you look like a very honest person. I mean you're nice looking and you seem to be intelligent enough."
S: (To Rico) " So do I meet your approval?" Rico looks at him and licks his face yet again.
S: (Laughs) " I'll take that as a yes."
Rico jumps off of Sonny when Brenda offers him food.
S: " Do I get some too?"
B: " I don't think you want any of that disgusting canned dog food, to be perfectly honest with you. But I can heat you up some soup."
S: " Sounds great."
Brenda goes into the kitchen, thinking that it would be a good thing for her to just continue to keep her mouth shut, and not tell him that in fact they know each other very well, better than they know themselves. She has to keep the fact that they are soul mates from him and isn't looking forward to it.
Sonny looks around the bedroom, trying to put everything together in his head. But he just couldn't remember anything so he just decided to kick back and let this beautiful woman take care of him. It definitely wouldn't be hard to do! He could definitely get used to her taking care of him.

-Chapter 5

Brenda woke up the next morning, after a restless night. She had spent the evening thinking of her time with Sonny. The love, the happiness, the heartache, the tears, everything that they had ever been through. She wouldn't change the times she spent with Sonny, not even the hard times they had had. Sonny, who has been awakened by Rico, the dog screams out.
S: " Brenda! Could you please come in here and get this dog off of me?" Brenda laughs and goes to get Rico off of him. When Brenda opens the door she sees Rico laying on top of Sonny, giving him kisses.
B: " Well, look at this, Rico loves you, he never even gives me kisses like this."
S: " Well ordinarily I wouldn't be upset about it but he is on top of my ribs and it hurts."
B: " Come on Rico, I know you love him but he is hurting and you don't want to hurt him anymore." When Rico doesn't budge Brenda thinks of something else. " Rico, if you get off of Sonny, I will throw in an extra treat for you." Rico jumps off of Sonny immediately.
S: " Nice bribe, if I might say."
B: (Laughs) " Yeah, if all else fails bribe them with food, it always works."
S: (Laughs and looks at Brenda intently) " Yeah, I will have to remember that." Brenda can feel the sexual tension growing so she decides that she had better get out of there fast, before she climbed in bed with him and jumped his bones. Sonny followed her with his eyes as she walked out of the room. There was something about Brenda, it was like he had known her before, but it couldn't be possible.
Brenda comes back into his room fifteen minutes later, with a tray.
B: " I hope you're hungry, I made you some pancakes and some Jell-O."
S: " The pancakes look delicious."
B: " Yeah well see, I don't know if I would eat those if I were you. I can't cook."
S: " Well, I'm sure that they are delicious." Sonny bit into the pancakes and he tried to hide his disgust from Brenda, but he was failing miserably.
B: " I told you they were disgusting."
S: " They're not disgusting, they are good, really."
B" Stop lying, they are awful." She takes the plate and sets it on the nightstand. " But I couldn't screw the Jell-O up, so this should be quite tasty. Open up."
Sonny opens up his mouth and Brenda feeds him some Jell-O.
B: " I told you it is good."
S: (Sarcastically) " Yeah, it is just delicious."
B: " Hey, I could open up a can of dog food for you."
S: " I think I will stick with the Jell-O."
B: " Yeah, that's what I thought. Are you thirsty? I can get you some apple juice."
S: " Yeah how about you get me some orange juice and drench it in vodka while you're at it."
B: (Laughs) " Now Mr. Corinthos, I am not anywhere near qualified to be a nurse but I must say that I know that vodka isn't what's best for you right now."
S: " And I bet you know what's best for me, don't you?"
B: " You're damn straight I do."