Home Again chapters 1-5

Introduction

"Welcome home Brender," said Jax.
Brenda rolled her eyes. In the short amount of an hour, he had managed to call her that ten times.
"My name is Brenda, not Brender. Get it right, or don't talk to me at all."
Jax watches her walk across the room, not wanting to take his eyes off of her, for fear that she will leave.
" I've always called you Brender. I don't know why I should stop now. How about we go upstairs, so we can make up for lost time, or we could do it on the couch, just like old times.
Brenda turns around and glares at him and then walks over to the phone. Jax again follows her with his eyes, wondering what she is up to. Brenda picks up the phone and dials the number.
"Corinthos Residence?" Said the voice on the other end of the phone. Brenda didn't recognize the voice. She is speechless, for the only voice she had anticipated was that of Sonny. Not knowing what to say, Brenda immediately hangs up the phone. She turns around to Jax, tears beginning to run down her face.
" Why didn't you tell me that Sonny has moved on?"
Jax gently wipes the tears from Brenda's eyes,
"I didn't think that it matters, after all we are together aren't we?"
Brenda looks up at Jax sadly, " I don't remember what we had Jax, I don't remember you."
Jax looks at her, shock registering all over his face, " But you remember Corinthos, I don't understand?"
" And I honestly don't knowhow to explain it to you. I remember everything that ever happened between Sonny and I, and the rest of it doesn't exist."
Tears of hurt and anger start to form in his eyes,
" I can't believe I mean so little to you, that you could just block out every thing that we had together. It was so beautiful."
Brenda puts her hand up to Jax's cheek, "I know. Look, you seem like a good guy, even if you do annoy the hell out of me with this Brender thing, but I cannot lie to you. I at least owe you the truth." She removes her hand from his cheek and walks over to her suitcase. She walks towards the door, and turns around to look at him,
" I'm going to stay at a hotel. I don't think it is a good idea for me to stay here. All I'm doing is hurting you."
Jax nods his head and watches as she opens the door. Brenda opens the door and gasps, as her eyes meet the eyes of a person very dear to her heart. Her suitcase falls to the floor,
"Sonny..."

-Chapter 1

The only sound that can be heard in the Jacks penthouse, is suprised gasps. Sonny stares at Brenda. He is at a complete loss for words. Brenda smiles nervously,
"Honey I'm home."
Sonny continues to stare at her with a mixture, of pure mesmerizement and surprise. After about a minute, he finally finds the words,
"Bren...Brenda...you're alive." He walks closer to her and brings his hands to her face. He gently runs his fingers through her wild, long, dark, luxirious hair. Brenda closes her eyes from the sheer bliss of his touch. When she opens her eyes she notices that he has tears in his eyes,
"This has to be a dream...God, baby, this is a dream come true."
He takes her hand in his and brings it up to his lips.
Jax clears his throat, and the mood is broken. Sonny looks up at him.
"Yeah, yeah I know you're there Jaxyboy, left out in the dark again huh? Then again, you are probably used to that, seeing how you always lose when it comes to Brenda."
Jax glares at him,
"Shut up Corinthos. I hate to break this to you, but you seem to have forgotten a very important fact. Does the name Carly ring a bell? Oh but wait a minute, you always were good about cheating on your wife with Brenda."
Sonny clenches his fist,
"Don't go there Jax or your face will be introduced to something I call my fist."
Jax laughs evilly,
" Go ahead Corinthos, try, I'll have you on the floor so fast your head will be spinning."
Sonny walks over to where Jax is standing, he grabs hold of the collar of Jax's shirt.
"Don't fucking push me Jax. I'll tear you apart!"
"Yeah, we'll see, come on, do it!"
Brenda puts her hand on Sonny's chest,
"Don't Sonny. He's not worth it. Can't you see he just wants to make you angry, you give him what he wants, he's going to laugh at you all the way to the bank."
Sonny looks deeply into Brenda's eyes, it has an immediate calming effect on him.
"I guess you're right."
Jax pipes into the conversation yet again, he rolls his eyes.
" That's real touching, it really is. But you do seem to forget a certain person that is now in the equation. We went from a quadrangle, to a threesome, and now we are back at a quadrangle."
Brenda looks at Jax confusedly, but then she remembers the voice on the phone earlier. She turns around to face Sonny.
" Right before you came, I called your penthouse and a woman answered the phone..."
Before she can get the rest of her sentence out, Jax breaks in.
" I do hate to break this to you Brender, but that person on the phone was Carly Corinthos."
Sonny stares into her eyes and he sees the hurt spring into them,
" Corinthos? You are married?"
Sonny tries to reach out to her, but before he can, she runs out of the penthouse and into the night.

Chapter 2

'Keep running, just keep running, you can do it.' Brenda thought to herself. She heard footsteps behind her, but paid no attention, she just kept running, as fast as her feet would carry her. She kept up a steady pace, till she reached her destination, a place that was very dear to her heart, and Sonny's. She gazed down at the river and smiled at the peacefullness. This place had held good and bad times for them, but the bad times were outnumbered by the good. She looks down and sees a stone. She kneels down to pick it up. She holds it in her hand and thinks of the boy that had its namesake. Stone, her beloved friend, the one person that believed in her and Sonny. Footsteps were behind her yet again, but she didn't dare move, for she had the familiar feeling that Sonny was watching her. She doesn't turn around, she just stares out into the water. She suddenly feels Sonny's hand on her shoulder as he gently turns her around to face him. She looks up at him. He has tears forming in his beautiful, intense, dark eyes. The intensity starts to become too much, as she focuses her eyes back on the ground, he takes his hand and gently raises her head up,
"Look at me...I'm sorry...I thought you were dead."
Brenda jerks out of his grasp,
"I thought we could sense each other, even a million miles away from each other. You didn't even suspect that I was alive?"
Sonny sighs,
" Part of me wanted to believe that you were alive, but you can only hold on for so long, you know that. You moved on with Jax after I left."
Brenda begins to pace, " Yeah, well if I was so happy to move on with Jax, then why can't I remember him? Tell me that?"
Sonny tries to speak, but Brenda goes on,
"No, it's my turn to speak. What I would really like to know is how in the world could you marry that annoying bitch? She's not even your type, unless...you all the sudden have moved from brunettes to blondes? Tell me Sonny, what do you see in Carly? Do you see me? Cause I never saw any of myself in her."
Brenda's voice has raised since they had begun this conversation.
"I'm sorry Brenda. You had to be there. You were gone and I had nobody. I desperately needed somebody and for a while Carly was that person."
Brenda turns around and looks into his eyes,
" Do you love her Sonny?"
Sonny doesn't answer. Brenda begins to beat on his chest,
" I said do you love her?!"
"I would like to know the answer to that myself." Said a voice from behind them.

Chapter 3

Sonny and Brenda turn around and see Carly staring at them. Carly glares at them, as she descends the stairs,
"Aren't you going to answer her question Sonny? Aren't you going to tell her how I'm the only woman that you desire...that when we make love I set your body on fire."
Brenda starts to feel nausous. She drops the stone that she had never let go of,, she hears it hit the water. Just like the stone, she felt helpless, like she was plumenting into the water, along with her heart feeling like it had been ripped into a million pieces.
Carly notices the effect that her statement has had on Brenda, and she doesn't let it drop, She walks over to where Brenda is standing. She has her hands on her hips, but suddenly she removes them from her hips and pushes her index finger into Brenda's chest, almost like she is going to push her.
"Oh yes, honey, he loves me alright. We made a baby together, you know? He only makes babies with women that he loves."
Brenda is furious, how dare this woman try to start a fight with her,
" I suggest you take your hands off of me honey! Before I tear you apart!" She shoves Carly's hands off of her, She begins to speak again,
"I don't know what makes you so sure that he loves you. Haven't you heard the story of Lily? I got her pregnant too and he didn't love her. What makes you think you are any different? Just because you got knocked up by him, does not mean love!"
Carly starts to become flustered. She turns around and looks at Sonny, who has been very quiet throughout this entire exchange. She places her hands back on her hips.
"Are you just going to stand there and let her talk to me like this?" He doesn't say anything.
"I can't even fucking believe this! I am your wife Sonny! How could you stand here and let her talk to me this way! How could you ever love this good for nothing bitch!"
Sonny has finally had enough.
"Carly, shut the hell up! This was a private conversation between Brenda and I. Now, I suggest you go home, like a good wife."
Carly doesn't move, she just continues to stare at him in disbelief,
"Do as I say! Go! Now!" Screamed Sonny.
Carly glares at him, and walks away, but not before getting one last comment in at Brenda,
"Don't think you've won honey, this isn't over with. It is war!"
Brenda laughs,
" You got it, honey, we both know who will win!"
Sonny looks at Brenda, she is pacing, muttering obscenities under her breath, he had seen her angry before, but never this angry. He walks over to her and pulls her into his arms,
"It's okay baby. Don't let her get to you like that."
Brenda pushes out of Sonny's strong embrace. She is still furious,
" Is what she said true Sonny? Do you love her, desire her, want her to be the mother of your children?"
Sonny suddenly becomes very hesitant, he doesn't want to hurt her, but he knows that he owes her the truth,
"What Carly and I have, is very complicated. Yes, I do love her, but not in the way that I love you. I could never love anybody the way that I love you. And as for children, we were having a baby together and when she lost it, it tore us both apart. The entire pregnancy was an accident, hell this entire relationship is an accident."
Brenda smiles,
"Some things never change I guess. God Sonny, why can't you see that this is Lily all over again. I can't do this again. I can't."
She runs away from him, for the second time in one night.

Chapter 4

"Some things never change I guess. God Sonny, why can't you see that this is Lily all over again. I can't do this again. I can't." Echoed Brenda's voice, over and over again. Ever since Brenda had left him on the docks the night before, her words kept running through his head, like a cd that kept skipping in a cd player. Why couldn't anything ever turn out right for him? First, his father ran out on him, then he was stuck with that abusive bastard, Deke. When he had finally found peace of mind with the love of his life, that had been shot to hell, due to the fact that he had to marry Lily. Now, when Brenda was finally back and alive, he was married to somebody else yet again. It just wasn't fair. Brenda definitely had a point, but all that he wanted to do was to make the voice in his head stop. True, he did love Carly, but like he had told Brenda, it was not the intense, earthshattering, inevitible love that him and Brenda share. His love for Carly, was more like you would love a best friend. She had been there for him, they had been there for each other, but that wasn't the kind of love that he was used to with Brenda. A hand on his shoulder breaks Sonny's deep train of thoughts. He turns around and looks into the eyes of Carly. He was getting his wish, her interrupting his train of thoughts could make Brenda's voice stop repeating over and over again.
"You must have been a hundred miles away just now...let me guess, thinking about Brenda?" Said Carly, with a touch of annoyance in her voice.
Sonny sighs and gently strokes her face,
"I was thinking about us." It wasn't a complete lie, he had been thinking about Carly and himself, but most of it was about Brenda.
Carly bursts into laughter,
"You think you are a good liar don't you? Well I hate to disappoint you honey. That look all over your face, says Brenda, not me. So at least be honest with me, you owe me that, at least."
A pained expression forms on Sonny's handsome face,
" I don't want to hurt you Carly. I love you. You know that."
Carly places her hands on both sides of his face,
"I know you love me, but the question is, do you love Brenda more? I think we both know the answer to that."
Sonny opens his mouth to speak, but Carly puts her index finger to his mouth to stop him from speaking,
"Shh...Don't answer that...I don't think I could handle it right now." She takes her finger off of his mouth and walks upstairs, leaving Sonny by himself, to drift off into deep thoughts yet again.

Chapter 5

'How did my life get so fucked up' thought Sonny, as he stared out into the water. The normally clear water, appeared to be black, seeing that it was three thirty in the morning and the sky gave off an eery feeling that a storm was brewing. Which seemed to fit him perfectly lately, with his marriage always having one storm after another. Tomorrow was halloween, and the sky fit perfectly with not only his feelings, but the holiday.
"Sonny..." Said a very familiar voice.
He turns around and comes face to face with Brenda, whom has tears in her eyes,
"Some things never change. Yet again, we are both drawn to where everything first began for us. Isn't it funny how we both always end up here, at the same time?"
Sonny gently carresses her face, a small smile forms on his lips.
" How many times do I have to tell you babe, we are inevitible, everything that happens between us is inevitible."
Brenda stares deeply into his eyes, falling into him for a brief second, but in the end she finds herself pulling away.
Sonny stares at her with a mixture of hurt and disbelief. She had rarely ever made the point of pulling away from him, and the fact that she did it now was like an arrow being shot through his heart.
"Why did you pull away from me? I guess it doesn't matter to you that you just broke my heart, does it?"
Brenda rolls her eyes at his melodramatic tone.
"That's not what I meant to do Sonny. I would like to think that you would trust me more than that, but I guess not. This has nothing to do with not loving you. You know how much I love you, or at least you used to. My feelings for you run so deep that it would hurt like a fucking knife if you disappoint me again. You're are married man. Go back to your wife. I can't...No I won't go through shades of the Lily situation yet again."
Sonny continues to stare in disbelief at Brenda's sudden outburst.
"Brenda I..." Brenda moves close to Sonny, so close that he can feel her hot breath on his skin. She places her finger to his mouth to silence him.
"Let me finish...The day you married Lily broke my heart. Seeing you marry her just about killed me..."
Brenda gasps, realizing that she had just slipped up and told him one of her darkest secrets. She had never intended for Sonny to ever know about it. The worst day of her life, well no it was the second worst day of her life, only after him leaving her at the altar.
Sonny is speechless, more speechless than Brenda had ever seen him.
" You...You saw my wedding?"
Brenda laughs bitterly,
"Oh yeah, I saw every disgusting minute of it. In fact, when Lily gave you a chance to get out of the marriage, I was silently pleading with you to take the option that she was giving you, but you never did. I stood there and had to listen to the man I loved pledge to another woman, his undying love and fidelity and and the promise that someday she would be the mother of your children. Do y ou even have a fucking clue as to how much you hurt me?"
Sonny begins to feel the heavy feeling in his throat, the feeling that he had become so familiar with, everytime he would hurt Brenda.
Within seconds he would have tears in his eyes. He reaches up and touches Brenda's face, which now matches Sonny's tearstained face. She is sobbing hysterically, which only makes more tears start to fall in his eyes.
"I'm sorry baby. I had no idea that you saw me marry Lily. You know I did it all for you sweetheart, every fucking thing I did was for you. I couldn't live without you and if I didn't marry Lily that is what would have happened. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you had to see that."
He pulls her into his arms and holds her. She continues to sob into his chest.
After a minute, she pulls out of his strong embrace.
" I know why you married Lily now, but at that point, all I could think about was how you were betraying our love, and everything that we ever meant to each other was just a lie."
Sonny is now caressing her face, yet again.
" God Brenda, I never wanted you to feel that way."
"But I did Sonny, I did, and that's how I feel now, you're married to Carly. It's the same old story. I feel like I've lost you all over again. I just can't take it."
Sonny moves his hands from her face , and onto her shoulders. He gently shakes her.
" Don't you ever say that again! Don't you even fucking know, that you will never lose me? I told you before, that even in hell I will be thinking about you. That hasn't changed. It will never change. I love you Brenda."
Sonny's eyes suddenly start to cloud over with the desire. It felt good to feel this sort of desire for someone again. True, he had it with Carly, but not this much desire. He could never desire another woman as much as he does Brenda. Brenda is looking at him the same way. He takes her face in his hands and they begin to kiss passionately, his tongue dueling with hers, in a war of passion.