N.D.E STORYS |
A few weeks ago I had a vivid, lucid dream. Several things happened in that dream, one of the most notable is that I saw a body in a yellow shroud. I did not see the body's face, only the lower portion of the shroud was visible and it was wrapped around the legs and feet so that no part of the body was visible. For some reason I just knew that it was a woman. I squatted down to touch the shroud and when I made contact I was overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness and greiving. Later when I woke up I learned that Mother Theresa had just passed away. My husband died at a hospice center last summer, while eight of our family held hands in a circle around him, praying and saying our good-byes. For the last hour of his life, he was focussed on the face of his aunt who was leading the prayers in a gentle and hypnotic voice. The last fifteen minutes of his life, his focus moved to someplace above and to the left of her face. His brow knit together and he got a rather perplexed look on his face, as if he wasn't sure what it was he was looking at. He didn't look scared or bothered, just confused. Then, the worried expression left, total peace came over his face, and he stopped breathing. I think he saw something up there, but I can't say who or what it was. I'm sorry that he had lost the power of speech by that time so he couldn't share with us what he was seeing. Watching him go, though, has taken away much of my own fear of death. It was beautiful and peaceful and I was very glad to be there with him and help guide him on his journey. Let me begin by stating a fact and that is that we that have never been there do not know what happens after death. Judge not others until you have experienced what they have through their eyes! Now being in the medical profession, i have been somewhat curious about death and what exactly happens to the soul, but never have i wondered so much as I have in the last year. It all started 1 year ago This week, I had just unlocked my front door and heard the phone ringing, as i frantically ran to answer it, i heard my uncles voice on the other end saying that i needed to come home, that my mother had died, and they had resuscitated her and did not expect her to live through the hour. I live 2 states away and was not able to leave until the following morning dues to airlines. While preparing to go I prayed that God would let her hold on until i arrived. I am a Paramedic by profession, and believe that God gives me the knowledge to do with my body what he needs to save someone, and if it is not possible, then it was their time to go. My mom had earlier that week had a simple surgery and was to be going home the day that she died, she arrested 3 times in a two week peiod and each time they got her back. When i arrived the day after the call, i went straight in to see her, she looked horrible, and i had a very hard time seeing my 60 year old mother like this. I prayed, and i started speaking to her, i told her to hold on that i needed her and that her grandchildren needed her, that we still had so many things to accomplish together. Through the days and weeks that followed as i read to her, and sang to her, played the tv with baseball games, she was an avid Braves fan, i reached the point one night after checking out her eyes that maybe she was brain dead or never going to recover. I came to the decision that we were being selfish, that maybe she would just rather go. I talked with my sister about this, and we spoke with the Dr, he said that it was such a miracle as to how she had come back thus far and that we needed to hol on just awhile longer. That night I walked into my mothers room in ICU and to my amazement she opened her eyes! She was trying to talk arount the ET Tube and she asked me, "Where's my clothes? Where's my purse, and where's my shoes?" I asked her if she knew where she was and she shook her head yes and mouthed"ICU". The next day or two she was up and feeding herself and able to talk in a whisper, the ET Tube had made her throat very sore. She looked at me and said,"I DIED!", I asked her where she had been and she said she was "Flying" I asked whom she saw and she replied,"All Kinds of people." She did not mention anything else to me until about 3 months after she came home from the hospital, and she asked me over the phone one day what had happened to her and I told her, she briefly spoke of her experiences again and then she said she did not want to talk about it any more. My mother passed away for the 4th thime February 20,1998, and before going she got some things straight she had needed to for a long time with my family, i had prayed that God would take her for about 3 weeks prior to her death, she had suffered alot, and would suffer alot more if she continued on in this world. I was talking to my aunt about this the very minute that I got the call from my sister to tell me it had just happened, I Cried and then I remembered where she had been before, and all her pain, and I wept for hours that night, I was going to miss her! Just prior to her death she had my sister write some things down on a piece of paper here is what it said, She went to Heaven, and it was peaceful and beautiful, everything was so clean. She saw the gates of Heaven and there was a time lock on the Gate, and she went into the gates three times. Everytime she went she had a specific amount of time in which to go out again because once the Gate shut you would have to wait until the next time they opened.She saw both of her parents and they were very young, and her mother spoke to her and told her to go back and when everything was in order she could return and go in to stay. She saw living and dead people, and everyone was waving at her as she passed by. She said that at anytime she could have went in and stayed but she did not although she wanted to go in. She said she never offered to stop. What does this mean, well i could read into it and say that I was here on earth pulling her back, and that she may not have been ready to go then, I wish i knew exactly what it all meant. It really helped me get throught the last month and as i sat at the funeral my soul crying I looked at my mother resting finally with a look of total peace on her face and looking younger than she had in 10 years, and I knew it was okay, my mother was in Heaven and I was mourning her Spirit. I was weeping for her soul, then I looked ito the casket at her face and I thought that is her shell, she is not here anymore, but one day we will be reunited, and she will come to meet me! If anyone has any idea what her experience actually meant please do spend an opinion. I now know that maybe she was giving me and my sister the time when she came back to finally be able to deal with her passing, and she needed for us to tell her it was okay for her to go on and go, of which we did before she died. I lost my husband when he was 22 and I was 26, and pregnant with out first child. Sean died on a Tuesday morning. The weekend before, we were riding his motorcycle and as I looked around, everything was so clear and bright. The trees the grass, and I felt this overwhelming feeling that I was going to die. I assumed I was going to die in childbirth. I grabbed onto Sean and squeezed him hard, and put my face in his hair and just smelled him. I felt like that way, no matter what happened I would always remember it. I just cant fathom why I felt death was near, but I didn't connect it was him instead of me. I can't understand why if I felt that way, why I didn't know what was to happen in 2 days. I haven't had any contact with Sean but the day before his funeral I was trying to nap and thinking (of course) about him and how much I miss him already and I could picture him standing beside the couch. I swear I felt him kiss my cheek. That was the only thing that has happened. Why won't he contact me now? Why didn't he show up at the hospital when I had our baby? |
